Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Whipping Cream for Breast Milk

I'm in an odd place today. I should be a basket case, I feel I have every right to be. I'm three weeks post partum raising three kids with my better half 2000 miles away, my baby has become intermittently colicky, I'm having breast feeding issues and I am in the early stages of what I fear will be a nasty custody battle with my ex-husband...and I admit, I'm sitting at my computer with tears stinging my eyes...but I'm not sad. I'm not stressed, I'm not exhausted...I feel blessed and content. How can this be?????

This morning I took Ryland to see the pedi (the real hospital wrote down the name of a different pedi so my "real" guy hasn't seen Ry yet) to go over her sleeping / eating / pooing issues. As in she doesn't sleep, barely eats and it takes her two hours and several shades of red face to make a poo. Well to my amazement she slept pretty good last night, nursed well this morning, and Sabrina's recommendation of Dr. Brown's bottles with Gentlease formula and Gripe Water seemed to work wonders...and in the waiting room she easily made a poo. Granted it stunk and I was embarrassed, but I didn't' fear her eyes were about to pop out of her it was a good thing. THEN the world's nicest nurse comes in and tells me her poo looked great and her weight gain was phenomenal (9 lbs). I was shocked! I told her I thought she wasn't getting enough Mommy juice and she said, "well then you must have whipping cream for breast milk"...after I had the best laugh I'd had in the last 3 months I wiped the tears from my eyes and just said, thank you. She felt the sincerity because she teared up, hugged me and said, "she's beautiful and you're doing great". Now tell me this nurse wasn't placed in my path today for a reason?!?!?! After a great check up with my wonderful "real" pedi that same nurse came back in and watched me nurse Ryland and gave me some great pointers...I feel refreshed and hopeful about breast feeding again! Plus I secrete whipping cream. I'm pretty sure that'll land me a show on Food Network.

This afternoon I had a meeting with a new lawyer to go over my legal DRAMA. I know I haven't gotten much into this, and eventually I will...but I'll just say that it was a very positive experience. I'm no longer walking around feeling like I'm on borrowed time with Hunter. I've been asking for prayers and I have FELT every one of them. Three days after I brought Ry home from the hospital I was served with some pretty life altering paperwork, I cried for literally two days straight...then I pleaded with God for more faith. Ever since Kevin got offered a job in Montana I've felt that it'll all work out the way He intends it to, and I still feel that way. This is the first time I've really been able to jut let go and give it to God...and man, it really works!!!!!! I hope the next time I post anything about this "issue" I will feel comfortable to give details and that will be because we have a resolution...I'll be praying hard on that.

So while on paper my current situation sounds a bit hopeless, I'm really doing great...and I had two awesome appointments today to help fuel my optimism. This is coming off a visit from my awesome friend Jenny and her Mom who came by to see me on Monday evening. Jenny & Kathy are the Aunt and Grandma of Coy and some very dear friends of mine...well they're more like family, but you feel me. They are the kind of people who don't ask if they can help, they show up on your door step with dinner, homemade cookies and ready to listen. For some reason having other mothers tell me that they recognize my struggles helps me feel like a stronger woman, so I've been a pretty high note ever since.

I am the owner of a Scion XA, and while it's very fuel efficient (the only reason I drive that car is for the gas mileage) it's freakin TINY. My big kids barely fit in the back seat so adding a third car seat was not an option. Since we weren't blessed to win the Mega Millions prior to Ryland's arrival our car situation has been just one more thing working against my parents were kind enough to let me borrow their SUV and my Mom's been driving the Scion. I have this theory that if you're borrowing someone's car you don't jack with their radio programming. That being said, My Mom listens to KSBJ...a station that has never been programed into any car I've owned. My thoughts on christian music were that you sang it at church and that was about it. Boy, I've been missin out a bit yall! For starters, all the songs we sing at church are on that station!!!!! Not to mention there is something to be said for turning on your car and being reminded that you're not alone. That was just a bit of randomness I thought I'd throw in for wouldn't be an Erin post if I didn't include some unnecessary rambling.

Tonight we went to my Mom's...nothing news worthy there, we spend 90% of our time with Kevin gone at my parent's house...but I actually got a nap in! Ever since Ry stopped sleeping my Mom has told me to come over and nap but I hadn't been able to until tonight. She nursed so good then fell into a food coma on my shoulder. A baby sleeping on you is better than any Tylenol PM so moments later I was out like a light! Thank you Jesus for my parents living three minutes away and being the kind of grandparents who love to play with their high maintenance grandkids so their delirious daughter can rest!!!!!!!

So the combination of kind words from a patient nurse, a lawyer who breaks the stereotype, a visit from a good friend, involved parents, a persistent God and the discovery of a new radio station have left me feeling oddly content tonight. I'm watching Ry sleep in the impulse buy swing I acquired last night. Hunter just came downstairs to tell me that since there is no medicine for his "eating problem" he would just take some raisins. Cierra took a nap in her room today at pre-school (instead of the director's office where she usually ends up during nap time because she tries to keep her friends awake) which is something that hasn't happened for 13 days in a row. How can I not feel blessed? Three healthy and happy kids to call me Mommy and whipping cream for breast milk, the rest will work itself out!


Sophia said...

what are you talking about "tear" on my post? your post almost made me sob. i like the ksbj ramble.

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work. You are doing an incredible job!!!


The Silva's said...

My prayers are with you daily!! God will handle all of it amd it will all work out for the best! See, who ever thoughtthey would have whipping cream for breast milk?

Sabrina said...

I am so thrilled that things seem to be looking up! And great news about Ry's pedi appt. What a wonderful nurse! I will keep praying for you and Hunter. Loves!

Amanda said...

Erin, I'm so encouraged for you! I love that your betty's make whipping cream. Ha! KSBJ is great and if you keep listening long enough you'll learn all the songs. Susan O'Donnell in the morning is pretty dang funny.

Lone Butterfly said...

I'm BooSheep's sister, and a mum with an ex-husband myself. If you ever need to talk to someone about those kinds of things, I'd be happy to listen.

Sometimes knowing someone else has been there and come out the other side okay helps. I'm praying for you, your husband, all your kids, and your ex-husband.

I hope you are able to get the sleep you need. I know it helps.

Linda Vujnov said...

Look at your fancy new blog!! Great job Erin! and congrats on the babes.

Thank you Jesus for grandparents that live close...amen! Oh, involved grandparents!

The Other Erin said...

So, your baby is absolutely gorgeous. So beautiful. Congrats. I miss my email friend, send me a message when you have time, I know you're super busy with the little ones, but we should catch up!!

Keri said...

I knew if I scrolled down I would probably find the answer to my question! :) I don't know the details of your situation, but I am a stepmom so I have some experience with the custody stuff. I do know that courts are VERY reluctant to let fathers have the children on a full-time basis. I know for a fact that my stepdaughter would be better off living with us (for example, her mother was just arrested this weekend for shoplifting) but judges like to keep children with their mothers. are a great mother and I know you have nothing to worry about!!! I'll be praying for you! Hang in there, I know it's MISERY.