what I'm trying to say is...

I have written, edited, deleted, re-written, erased, started over, given up and began again on this blog about 15 times tonight...and what I'm trying to say is, THANK YOU.

I don't know who all reads this, but the comments I've received on all of the posts I've made since reviving this blog a few months ago are just beyond amazing to me.

I already know I have this phenomenal group of friends from high school (some from jr. high even) that are always there with a kind word of support when I need it...and these last few months have been no different. We send updates every once in a while as soon as I started filling everyone in on Montana and the custody DRAMA that has followed it my in-box has been blowin up...I ask for a prayer and not only do I get that, but I get phone calls, texts, e-mails galore from my dear friends reminding me they have my back. I get advise and support beyond measure. They are the kind of friends everyone should be so lucky to have. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through these last few months with my sanity intact without them! Well, without YALL I should say...I know some / most of yall will read this. Ya better :)

Besides that group of sisters, I have an equally amazing group of "newer" friends who are there for me all the same...today CeCe texted me to bring the kids over so her and Chris could watch them and let me veg. This is the same CeCe who showered us with love just last week...she's good people! And I have my Fia, I am so glad she loves my brother...it's keeping her in my world and I think I'd be pretty lost without her! I have a plethora of friends named Erin an awesome friend, Brandy, from Louisiana who is looking for a good coon-a$$ from the swamps to handle up on my "situation" if you know what I mean...wink wink.

I have my blog world friends who are absolute God-sends...they are proof that He puts the right people in your path when you need them. Just go read the comments that are left for me from people I've never met. We all know it's no coincidence...He knows when I need a kind word from a stranger, and there it is...Keri, Meg, Linda, Heather, Boo, etc...all of yall, people who only know me through my words are praying for me and my family...laughing and crying with me. Come on now!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my Mom. Moment of silence for my Mom. A woman who has unimaginable struggles of her own to deal with still puts her adult children first. I guess I always thought that at some point my parents would get a break from the crazyness that has been my life, but here I am...27 (and a half) with three kids and over at their house everyday, my crew tearing up their back yard and all they do is smile and say, "here, let me hold the baby so you can eat". Just tonight my Mom came and took us for Mexi food, bathed my big kids, helped rock Ryland during a colicky period and sat and listened to me ramble on and vent about the decisions I still have to make...and I know that if I'm dead on my feet tired at 2:00 am she'd be here in a heart beat to stay up with Ry and let me sleep. I know she'd do this because she's did it two weeks ago!!!

Oh, and my church. Wow, my church. We're a small congregation...we worship in an elementary school "cafatorium" (new word to me...half cafeteria, half auditorium) and most of us came over from another church when Pastor Chris began Celebration. This church has literally changed my life. Over the last 10 or so months I've developed a REAL relationship with Christ and without a doubt, Chris was the one who led me there. His sermons speak to me in a way only Beth had been able to before. And it's not just what he preaches about, but it's the person he is. He's legit and it makes what he has to say MEAN so much more. Everyone who worships there is as equally amazing. Every type of person (and guide dog) is accepted at Celebration...and everyone really walks the walk. On any given Sunday I'll literally speak to every person there. And that's not because there are only 10-20 of us, (there are many more than that) it's because we're a family there...a family of former strangers coming together to praise an amazing God. I have gotten so much support from everyone at my church, it's just how I've always thought a church experience should be for me. I love it.

I love all of yall. I'm so thankful. For a day that started out so tough I just needed to end it on a positive note. For everyone who's' reading this...THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. All of the prayers you've bestowed upon this family are being felt...and I truly thank you.

Love,
E