Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Do as I say, not as I do...

I do some of my best thinking in the shower, and this morning I began to think of this list of unexplainable decisions I've made during this pregnancy...all hormone induced I'm sure.

1. Pregnancy gives me gray hairs. I'm only 27 (and a half), now is not the time for gray hairs. So I did as I've been doing since I was 17, I went to the drugstore on a whim and bought a box of hair dye. Now this in itself isn't too crazy...I've been buying brown hair dye for over 10 years (I get highlights done in the salon, don't keep them up then try to go back to my natural color at home...it never works). But on this particular shopping trip I was lured in by a new "Perfect 10" hair dye...I mean it's a PERFECT 10, you understand. So it comes with this handy applicator that's like a comb at the end of the bottle...sounds good in theory, but I had a combination of black and a funny redish color streaks in my hair for about a week. It has now faded to a respectable color, but it took it's sweet time.

2. Just a few days before I dyed my hair I decided that I could use some "side bangs"...who in their life has not cut their own bangs? Granted, most people stopped when they were six, but I'm a fan of the home trim. So I went to Kevin's desk, found some scissors, pulled some hair down and cut it...that fast. Turns out I grabbed some dull scissors and too much hair. So now I'm growing out excessive and uneven "side bangs". The next day at work my boss, who's gay and lives up to a few of the stereo types, noticed them right away and asked if I wanted to borrow some scissors to cut them off.

3. Did I learn my lesson on cutting my own hair? No I did not. I haven't been to see, holy crap I just forgot his name...it's been that long...well I haven't been to see my hair guy since last summer, it's been almost a YEAR since my last hair cut. When you straighten and home dye your hair, you need regular trims...so my hair was an abomination. One night after washing my hair, I went back to Kevin's desk...found the aforementioned scissors I'd thrown into the back of a drawer (trying to hide them from myself for this exact reason) and gave myself a trim. Do you know how hard it is to give yourself a trim? Needless to say I now have an uneven haircut to match my glorious bangs and "perfect 10" dye job.

4. Jergen's Natural Glow lotion with "subtle tanners"...my orange feet beg to differ. Since high school we've all learned that tan fat looks better than white fat, so I was just SURE that a "subtle tan" would greatly improve my third trimester appearance. I even bought the one for fair skin tones. Is there a skin tone more pale than "fair"? If so, that is me. And after a week or so of my Natural Glow has left me less pale, but also with orange feet and elbows. So if tan fat looks better than white fat, what does orange fat look like? A pumpkin? Greeeeeeeeeeeeat!

5. Finally, something not appearance related (I was beginning to worry myself)...I agreed to observe the daylight savings time change. The state of Arizona is on to something here yall. 6:00 stays 6:00 all year round...it never changes to 5:00 or 7:00, 6:00 is 6:00. Try explaining the concept of daylight savings to your 5yr old...your 5 yr old that doesn't accept piddly answers either, he wants to know WHY. And I can't tell him WHY, no one can...it makes no sense. Even CC wants to know why we drive to school when it's still "garken" outside (dark is a hard word for her for some reason, so it's garken...which is a much more complex word, but whatever). It's hard enough acclimate yourself to the change, but doing so with a toddler in your belly and two pre-schoolers is INSANITY. Next year I'm not doing it. I protest, I'm writing a letter.

So I may not make the smartest decisions out there, but at least I'm doing so with good intentions. I'm not ballooning gracefully...I'm trying to maintain my appearance whilst I gain my pregnancy weight, and I'm trying to go with the flow in observing daylight savings...I'm attempting to be just your average happy go lucky freakishly well adjusted pregnant lady, perhaps I'm a work in progress...but at least I'm working at it :)