Monday, March 24, 2008

32 days and counting

Today is a sad day...this morning we got to say goodbye to Kevin again. It was especially hard pulling out of the driveway this morning with him still standing there, in fact I'm tearing up again just writing about it. I really realized this trip home that it isn't that I NEED him here, I just really WANT him here. I've found that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought, but I really just prefer to have him around...besides being super helpful around the house and with the kids, he's also great company, and SO easy on the eyes :)

I rest my case:

I had a good friend tell me once that it wasn't that she couldn't live without her husband...physically she'd still be breathing every day, and she was secure enough in herself that she knew she could go on...she just plain didn't WANT to live without him. That is so how I feel right now. I know I can manage the kids and the house on my own, I've been doing it...and I'm thankful for this time that I've had to do so because it's shown me that I can. But it's also shown me that I really am with the right person. Kevin really is "the" guy for me. Could I live without him (if I had to)? Sure. But do I want to? No way. It's actually such a wonderful feeling to know, without a doubt, that the person you're with makes your life better. He's the frosting. And that's how I think it should be! It's not like that horrible line from Jerry McGuire, he doesn't "complete" me...I complete me, my kids, God...they complete me, he just makes my life happy and wonderful. Talk about easing some pressure off a relationship! I couldn't imagine carrying around the burden of making his life whole and I wouldn't expect him to do that for me either. We're in a place of mutual respect, love and admiration...and we're going to have a baby to show for it. How's that for amazing?

So it's 32 days and counting until his next trip home, which means I'm 35 days away from my due date...can that be right? Wow. So last night we enjoyed what could be our last evening together as a family of four, and this morning Kevin said goodbye to my pregnant tummy for possibly the last time. It's kind of surreal to think that the next time we see him I'll be going in to labor and the kids will have a baby sister. Where did the last eight months go? Isn't that always how it is? 40 weeks seems like forever when you're 7 weeks pregnant and the next thing you know you're 35 weeks pregnant and wondering where all that time in between went. I really want to spend the next 4-5 weeks enjoying my kids and showing them the attention I'm sure they'll miss once the baby comes. I'm really going to make an effort to enjoy these next few weeks instead of complaining about being nine million months pregnant and being sad about missing Kevin. These are the last 35 days I'll be a mother of two and some of the last times I'll be able to lay on the couch blogging about nothing and watching Emeril while the kids play ninja-cowboy-kitchen-babies upstairs...and I'm going to make the best of it!

And just for fun because I know I'll enjoy looking back on this....the baby names we have discussed for "chister" are:

Logan (Kevin likes the idea of calling her LoLa and CC says LoLo)
Mason (I'd call her Macie when she's little)
Taylor (Hunter's vote)
Ruby - not really on the list, I just love it but both Kevin and my Mom don't so that kind of knocks it out of the running
Blake (Lauren's idea and I love it)
Kayla - Kevin's fav for a while, I never got into it...not happening

And in case we get another "surprise, she grew a's a boy" we'll name him Maverick Wayne (or maybe Levi Wayne but Levi's getting popular and I'm pretty sure not many other people will name their sons after a character from Top Gun, just a guess). And yes, I know...Wayne is the most popular middle name for serial killers, but it's also Kevin's middle name and heritage trumps coincidence any day in my book.

I'll post lots of pictures from Easter once I compile them from all the different cameras, but for now this ramble is done.



ErinA said...

I have a cousin who named her son Maverick. I LOVE that name!

Amanda said...

Sister, Curtis' middle name is Wayne too! And all the men on his dad's side of the family have Wayne in their names. We decided to break tradition. Also, we knew a family in Irving with two girls named Mason and Logan. So cute! They were awesome little girls which just makes the names even better!