Monday, July 14, 2008

Ugh...HONESTY

I Just saw this commercial for Chillis where five or so people are on a conference call, get put on hold and decide to play...oh snap, what's the name of the childhood game where you take the chair away and walk around in the circle until the music stops, fight over the chair? Oh, I really can NOT think of the name of that game.

Anyways, so I'm watching this commercial and the STRANGEST thing happens...I'm instantly jealous of the girl in the cute black pencil skirt and ruffled button up shirt. I mean, ya, she had the typical skinny TV figure and perfect hair, but I was jealous of something much more embarrassing...her conference call.

For the last few years I've envied the Moms who don't have to go to work every day...you know, the ones who have all this free time to work out and cook great meals and keep a spotless house all while maintaining valuable friendships and staying up on current news so that they can carry on relevant adult conversations? You know the kind. They're also called martians. Or urban legends.

I've mentioned this before, but my short experience with stay-at-home-momdom has not gone as previously hoped. Top that with spending the last two and a half weeks in Montana...land of the perfect, organic, cut my own kid's hair, grow my own food, recycle everything so that I have no trash, run 12 miles every morning while my family sleeps type of stay at home Mom and I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in over my head.

What I miss are the days at my last two jobs when my bosses would call me in to meetings (or conference calls for the sake of staying on topic here) and ACTUALLY want to know my opinion on something. I miss putting on a pressed pair of good fitting pants, a button up shirt and great heels to go to a trade show and exchange thoughts on technology in education. I miss getting up, getting ready, drinking coffee and making small talk with co-workers, I miss the relationships you make when you spend 9 hours a day with other adults. I'm jealous of the cute girl on the Chillis commercial not because she was cute, but because she was at work...albeit a fake job, but in my head it was a job where her talents held value and there was even a pay day to show for it.

I guess this is the ultimate in greener grasses issues for women.

I'm BEYOND thankful that I'm in the position to spend time in Montana when I could easily be at work wishing I was here instead...but it's still a catch-22. Being able to spend all day with my kids I get to see all of Ry's firsts and I get to be the one to teach my bigger kids new things...but I'm someone who dressed up as "a business man" for Halloween as a kid. I've always thought I'd be a super awesome bad-a$$ suit wearing business woman (or lawyer, but that's another post). So while I DO love this life, I still miss the days at the office.

Perhaps this is why play groups exist? Or MOPS maybe? Linda, Amanda...I'm not sure entirely sure what MOPS is, but in my head it's former crime fighting business women turned stay at home Moms who discuss pre-school kids whilst tackling gas prices and climate change. Correct me if I'm wrong.

So this was just me being honest. I'm sure if I went back to work (being a sales / marketing assistant as I've always been...not the awesome pistol packing suit wearing life changing business woman I many have hoped for) I'd long for the days when I could rock Ryland to sleep for her afternoon nap and play pretend with Cierra while waiting for Hunter to get home from school.

I guess that's just the honest truth about being a Mom...just one of many, right?!?!

MUSICAL CHAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was about to keep me up all night!

13 comments:

bethany said...

Erin, I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've had these EXACT same feelings. It's the reason that I had post-partum for 9 months after I had Jakson...at the same time I know women who LONG to be able to stay at home with their children and because of financial reasons are not able to-I feel lucky that I get to make the decision to be home. Although I wasn't in the "corporate world" (as a teacher)-I loved my career, loved the teachers I worked with, and loved being a reading specialist -people actually used to listen to me and not just throw tantrums!!

But then Jak will be sick or have a rough day and I think-how could I leave when no one else cares about him as much as I do? That's what keeps me home.

The Silva's said...

And the battle continues...

You are not alone my dear, you are not alone!! I had that same struggle to be at work when I was home with the boys, and during the school year it isn't that bad, but during the summer I want to be at home with them doing fun stuff like walking to the park or going to the pool. I guess we just can't have it all can we? Just make the most of what the situation is while we are in it.
Meg

Amanda said...

My mom always says that a part time job is a mom's best friend. Hmmmm. I have to say that I have greatly enjoyed going to my office one day a week. Even so, one day is enough for me. MOPS is awesome. You should definitely look into it. If you come back to H-town maybe we can find one together.

lyndsay said...

You SO crack me up! Musical Chairs!

I don't have kids yet, but I've never been able to picture myself staying home when I do...for the exact reasons you mentioned. Plus, I'm scared my brain will turn to mush. ha! I know it must get tough sometimes. I just said a quick prayer for you, that you will be content right where you are!

PS-I love that Chili's commercial. :)

Linda Vujnov said...

I love your honesty Erin. It is so true! I agree with Amanda. Could you do some part-time...consulting with your former employer?

MOPS is awesome too. I would also recommend volunteering in women's ministry, or in MOPS where you can dress up and feel like a "big girl" without the stress of a job.

I hear you sooo loud and clear! Go to Craig's list and see what comes up...you never know!

Heather said...

I think every stay-home mom feels this way...I know I have moments just like yours when I think about how my life is now versus then. God usually snaps me back to gratefulness pretty quick, though, since I prayed and wanted to stay home more than ANYTHING!
That being said, the important thing is that we realize He is in control and knows our hearts more than we do!
(I also like what Amanda said about the part-time job- that's what I do and I think it is the perfect balance!)
Love ya girl!

Erin said...

I have the greatest blog friends EVER

Sophia said...

i like this post. I MISS YOU!!!

Sophia said...

I can't wait until you girls get home! I'm dying to see all of yall. And when you come can you bring some bread? OMG....DELICIOUS! i've never had better!

The Van Fam said...

I am cracking up...seriously funny stuff. I should be in bed but instead I am laughing hard at my computer screen.

I hear you on missing the work place. I do at times. If I got into our office and work I miss it even more but then I get home and realize I couldn't be away from my 2 babies 40 hours a week. That being said, I am launching a new business adventure and I have used my brain more in the last week than I have in the last 5 years (at least). It's pretty dusty in there but she's coming around!!

Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Jenny said...

You should write. Seriously, I've thought this for a long time. You have always had a clever way with words. I think that's the solution...a little part-time journalism or something like that on the side. You have lots to write about...you've been through more than most people in this world, and you're only 27!! Okay, it's decided. Love you and can't wait to see you tomorrown night!

cece said...

That is soooo Funny! When you get back bring CC and she can watch the silly dog in person! When are you coming back... you're missed!!

Harmony Owen said...

Erin, it Harmony and I just read your "updated" about me on the space and read about your blogspot here. What can I say, I just love it! Keep up the great posts as I will be visiting daily now. Glad to hear things are going well. I know this comment has nothing to do with this post....sue me. Miss your face!