Erin Under Construction

A Sleeping Situation

2010-06-08T09:08:00.003-06:00

My "baby"...(who is over two years old, but will be referred to as my baby until another child comes along, which will be never....so she'll always be my "baby")...does not sleep.

I vividly remember the day I was warned of this sleeping situation...she was 5 months old, we were staying at my Mom's house in Houston...Kevin had just packed up the moving van for the 2,000 mile migration to Montana...Ry was upstairs asleep in her crib & she started crying...so, OF COURSE I run upstairs to see what's wrong, pick her up, carry her back downstairs and hold her until she falls back asleep. That's when it happened, the curse, or the warning, or whatever you want to call it...

"You know, she's old enough to fall back asleep on her own...you'll regret this one day"

Fast forward almost two years, and that fateful day will always be rembered as "The one day Kevin was right"

I say "one day" out of humor, unfortunately the man is right far too often, (much to my frustration as I prefer to be the "person who is right more often")

But really, I think of that warning often....mostly at 11:00, 2:00, 3:30, 5:00....her normal waking times. She sleeps less often than a newborn...and I'm tired. I'm very very tired. All she wants is for me to put her back in bed. Sometimes this requires milk, but generally she just wants me to pick her up and carry her back to bed. Was he right, or was he right?

Oh, and I've tried every type of sleep training out there...but my girl is as stubborn as they come. She will literally stand outside our door and scream for two hours. At some point she wins....Daddy does have a job afterall.

She also rarely naps....just thought I should throw that in there.

So imagine my amazement when I realize it's 9:00 this morning...and she's still asleep. Now come to think of it, she didn't wake up last night either. Now the panic sets in! She went to bed last night at 7:30! It's been 13-1/2 hours! Is she ok? Is she still breathing????

I run into her room half fearing the worst...and she's just rubbing her little tired eyes...gives me a big smile, notices she still has dress up rings on both thumbs, "Mommy yook at me! Ry Ry preeeeety gurl"

Yes you are sweet baby, the prettiest girl this Mommy has ever seen.

(especially when you sleep 13-1/2 hours, but I'm just sayin)

Beuller???

2010-05-21T00:15:00.002-06:00

Hello, is anyone there? Bueller? Bueller?

I kid.

I've had trouble sleeping for the last 3 days, so I randomly decided to check this blog I used to write. I've actually thought about starting over...or re-starting...or picking up where I left off?

I think it's pretty ironic that the last thing I posted was my resolution to "post more" and that was over a year ago....I love me.

I just have SO much to say, I've felt really compelled lately to share my story and my struggles, what I've learned...mostly the hard way....and how AMAZING it feels to come out on the good side.

I love that I changed the name of my blog from "and baby makes three" to "erin under construction"...it's so fitting, when are we not under construction?

Maybe I should learn how to properly organize my thoughts before I try blogging again. (that's comical to anyone who knows me, my real life conversations are equally random)

So maybe this is a "hello again" maybe it's a "fooled ya"....either way, getting on the internet as a result of lack of sleep is never a good idea :)

My resolution

2009-02-23T22:12:00.002-07:00

So like 50 something days after the first of the year, I've finally come up with a resolution.

I always want to be a better version of myself...I don't want to CHANGE who I am, because, for the most part, I'm really pleased with the person I've finally become...but I always want to be a better version. You know, a skinner, more self-assured, confident, happy, trusting, trust-worthy, motivated, frugal, fashionable, patient....etc, etc, etc...version of me.

So my resolutions usually sound something like, "I'm going to be MORE (blank)"...and I really didn't want to do that this year. I'm picking something more simple, less guilt-inducing, and easier to track.

I'm going to blog more. Ya, that's right. It took me two months to decide that.

**I'm watching Making the Band 4 on MTV, why do all the boys end the show by taking their shirt off? I'm embarrassed for Donny Klang right now**

In order to start anew with my blogging resolution, I need to get some blog-things off my chest:

I love reading everyone else's blogs but I'm a horrible commenter

and

I beat myself up if I take too long between posts, so that keeps me from posting something new

also...I can't spell, I over use the comma and elipses...or whatever those things are called I just over-used again. I also feel the need to hyphenate words a lot. And there will be your fair share of run-ons, fragments, and overall bad grammer...sue me.

So now that we've covered all of that, I'm going to let myself off the hook for not posting enough pictures, or witty thought provoking articles...and instead, I'm just going to use this blog like I originally intended, I'm just going to say what I feel like saying!

Let the resolution begin! VIVA LA RESOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Attention all 11 followers...

2009-02-15T21:18:00.002-07:00

It's nothing new, but I just noticed that I have double digit followers...what what.

I'm doing my pretend friend's ipod shuffle meme, so here goes.

Now, out of my own personal integrity I must explain that my shuffle is in no way, shape or form an accurate representation of my musical taste. I use it to work out, so it includes work out music...and that's it! None of my favorite artists (Pat Green, Marc Broussard, Aerosmith, Jack Johnson) are represented on said shuffle. So I beg you, please read the following with the understanding that we're dealing with workout music here.

1. Brother Lee, Citizen Cope...I saw a picture of this "Citizen Cope" character online, thought he was cute in that weird dread lock hippie kind of way, checked him out in itunes and found that the only song work out worthy was, Brother Lee. It's great...catchy...you should check it out.

2. Just Dance, Lady GaGa...have I ever mentioned my obsession with dancing? I am a B.A.D. dancer yall...and not in the Michael Jackson "bad means good" sense, I just plain suck. I also suck at Jazzercise, any form of aerobics...step, water or otherwise...pretty much anything that involves coordination. I can play volleyball, I can cook, I apply eye shadow well...and that's about it. Sooooooo I have this massive obsession with people who can dance. Step Up (1 and 2) and Center Stage (mostly 1 but also 2) are some of my favorite movies....great for picking up moves to pretend you can do yourself. When I'm working out, I like to distract myself by pretending that I'm secretly a profesionally trained ballerina / hip hop dancer and I make up dances in my head....this song is the BEST for said pretend dancing.

3. Fly on the Wall, Miley Cyrus...what can I say? I have kids, Miley and Hannah are staples around here.

4. Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It), Beyonce...my man HATES this song, mainly because he has yet to "put a ring on it".

5. Flat on the Floor, Nickelback... I heart older school Nickelback. Their first CD was seriously hardcore, like heavy metal almost (is that even a genre any more?) but this CD was hard enough to make it good workout music, but still bearable...and I just like it.

I also feel the need to mention that I checked the little box that tells me what songs I've played the most...the top rated is that Lady GaGa song, apparently I really enjoy making up dances in my head...the second through fourth songs were all by Flo Rida. Somewhere in Louisiana, Marc Broussard is shaking his head in disgust.

Answers

2009-01-27T08:08:00.003-07:00

...if you haven't read what I posted yesterday, this will make little to no sense....but that's how I roll.

Kisha...Oh, how I wish I was exaggerating on the job market here. Unfortunately, that one was true. Even worse, my pay rate is exactly 1/2 of what I was making in Houston. I'm just thankful I got this job!

Sophia...you're a straight hater. It is soooooooo not the working out one. I loves me some gym now! If you weren't my sister I'd probably dis-own you for that comment...I kid :) Oh, and write a new blog please!

Lyndsay....now, I see where you're coming from. I did kind of contradict myself there, but I have a REALLY hard time sleeping, so I do many many things whilst trying to catch my Z's...including, but not limited to: writing blogs in my head, fake conversations with people of all sort, ideas for a novel I can write that would inspire Ellen to have me on her show, inventions, what I would do with 20 million dollars, what I would look like with blond or red hair, what clothes I would buy if I miraculously woke up 20 lbs lighter....etc

Sadly, the only lie on that list was about ...my other pretend friend, (also named Lyndsay...what's up with that?) the amazing photographer coming to Montana. But I'm thinking that maybe I inspired a vacation she'd never thought of :)

Here is a link to some Missoula vacation info...personally, I think yall should all come see me this summer. The weather is amazing. The Farmers Market is probably the coolest thing ever. There's a river to float (Kish...I know I got you with this one), lakes, mountains, all sorts of awesomeness...and good shopping too.

Alright, that sounded a little needy and pathetic didn't it? I'm going to go drown my sorrows in flavored creamer with a shot of coffee!

Why, yes...it IS a new post

2009-01-26T09:21:00.002-07:00

A while ago, my favorite pretend friend posted a list of "nine truths and one lie" on her blog...last night when I could sleep I needed to do one of my own. So here goes:

1. As we speak, Big Girl just ran over to me in her ginormously amazing burgundy Christmas dress complete with velvet, tulle, and rhinestones (it lives in the dress up box for those exact reasons) and demanded that I take it off RIGHT NOW because it was messing up the tattoos on her arm...huge sparkely dresses and arm tattoos go hand in hand around these parts.

2. This afternoon will be my first day at work here in God's Country...in order to land my position as a part-time receptionist I had to beat out 100 other applicants. The job market in Montana is AMAZING yall!

3. My brother was just picked as Cy-Fair's Dispatcher of the YEAR...he gets an all expense paid trip to Vegas for the Dispatcher's conference complete with spending money. This was his first year as a dispatcher! I cried.

4. My favorite photographer is taking a trip to Montana this summer and has agreed to take pics of my family. I'm so excited I can't stand it!

5. I have a heart shaped freckle on my arm.

6. For the first time in my 28 years, I can HONESTLY include working out in my list of things I enjoy doing.

7. My Baby Girl has a future as a super model...she's in the 90% for height and 25% for weight....AND she eats all day. Is it wrong to be jealous of your nine month old?

8. I CAN NOT STAND the Tigger and Pooh cartoons, they also happen to be Big Girl's favorite...I'm planning the unthinkable...I'm going to do laundry just to get away from it.

9. Whenever I can't sleep at night I have pretend conversations in my head...like I'll pretend to be Elisabeth Hasslebeck and I'll let all the crazies on The View know what I really think about them and all their hypocrisies. Especially Whoppi and Joy...shudder

10. We're going to a Super Bowl party on Sunday (go Arizona!) and I'm most excited about the food I'll be bringing. Party food makes me eternally happy :)

Aright...now yall have to tell me which one is a lie. This is not in the least bit difficult...but I have a baby rubbing her snotty nose on my shirt and screaming at me, so I'm rushing. Hate me :)

Nine Months!

2009-01-23T08:36:00.002-07:00

Hello again...from the slackiest of all blog slackers.

Today, my baby is nine months old!

Right now, as we speak...or, type/read...she's sitting in her high chair watching Little Einsteins with her big sister, eating a banana and some Crunch Berries...and banging the back of the chair that's with-in her reach against her tray. That about sums my girl up. She's down for any kind of table food 24-7 and she NEVER sits still. Ever.

We go in for her check up in a few hours so I don't have height/weight stats but I can tell you that she's a pretty lean baby...and not for lack of eating! Just an example of a typical daily intake: a banana and about 2 eggs scrambled (that she has to eat standing up next to my chair and off my fork, not sure why, but that's how sister prefers her eggs), 2-3 Mum Mums, a Bitter Biscuit, 1/4 a canister of Puffs, 2 hot dogs, a small can of peas & carrots, a couple crackers and maybe some noodles of whatever variety I have on hand. Home girl can EAT. They always laugh at the gym because the entire time I'm working out, they have her in a walker eating crackers or gold fish and she's as happy a can be! Oh, and she still has 4-5 bottles of formula a day too!

If she ever had "down time" I'm sure she'd have those chubby baby thighs and a cute belly...but she NEVER stops moving. Just last night her Daddy commented on how hyper she was. She is literally all over the place all day long. Her morning nap lasts a whopping 45 min...in the afternoon I'm lucky if I get an hour and fifteen min. The rest of the day she's either dancing with her big sister to Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus CDs (she gets up on her knees and bounces around capping), pushing her baby stroller all over the house, or banging on her Leap Frog Activity Table.

She's a very happy baby, but pretty stubborn too...and she HATES the word "no" (which she hears often)...she definitely knows what it means too, because as soon as you tell her no she starts throwing a little fit...or if she's feeling especially bold, she'll just smile at you like, "woman, I know what you're tellin' me but I really feel like pulling up on the trash can to get this empty apple juice box, ok?"

As my Grammie would say, "Oofta"

I am very happy to report that she's still a Momma's girl though! Something about me still carrying baby weight around makes me feel like she should at least be a Momma's girl, right? Well, she's a Momma's girl when Daddy doesn't have ice-cream...when Daddy has sweets, all bets are off...she puts her head down and does the super charged crawl right over to where he's sitting, stands up and drops her mouth open. She definitely has her Daddy's sweet tooth.

Some of her favorite things are her stacking rings she got from Grandma & Grandpa for Christmas, her baby she sleeps with, HER PACI (good Lord help me when I have to break her of that), empty water bottles and keys/cell phones/remote controls...but not the kid ones, my girl turns her nose up at those, she wants the real thing.

Some of her nine month milestones:
-she's standing independently and is literally days away from taking her first steps
-she claps when she's happy or excited about something
-she said her first word on Christmas Day, "Bu-Bu" to her big brother, he was SOOOOO excited. She also asks for her Ba-Ba (her bottle) and says Da-Da too.
-she'll also talk on the phone...it's just jibber jabber but when my Mom talks to her, she talks right back...it's so cute.
-if you stick your tongue out at her, I mean I don't....why would I do that? ummm, but IF you did....she's do it right back. She mimics most anything you do.
-she sticks her finger up her nose too, I don't think it's for picking purposes yet, she just figured out it fits up there about a month ago...and it's now her finger's favorite place to be...lovely

Some non-milestones:
-sister refuses to hold her own bottle...I mean why hold it yourself when your Mom's right there to do it for you? right?
-she won't drink out of a straw or sippy cup...although she thinks the tips make excellent chewing devices
-she still only has her two bottom teeth, clearly that doesn't stop her from eating everything in sight though
-I don't think my baby will ever sleep through the night, not while her push-over Mommy is there. She has me all figured out...she knows I'll cave eventually, honestly it doesn't ever bother me anymore.

I can't believe she'll be one in three short months! It feels like I was just pregnant...I can't believe how much she's grown and changed in nine months. I just want to keep her like this forever...especially when I think about how big her brother and sister are getting! She has the sweetest smile that lights up her whole face, and those tiny fingers, soft baby hair. I just love her so much! Happy nine months Ry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some teaching, and a little clarification

2009-01-13T12:03:00.003-07:00

We once again interupt this IBH to bring you a post courtesy of One Minute Writer

Truth be told, I miss blogging...since I've been staying home, it's my version of office chatter...and I guess a little insight into the IBH wouldn't hurt.

I've realized it doesn't make much sense to have a blog that would lead yall to believe it's all about my kids, when all I really do is talk about myself...and since I'm truly a work in progress, I decided to change the title to Erin Under Construction.

I also never took the time to as my partner if it would be ok with him if I started a blog and shared our family's details with the world wide web...turns out not all of us are the sharing type. So I've had trouble writing a post since I've decided to take my kids out of the posting equation (not that they won't get mentioned, I'm human...but no more pictures and specific details)...until I read today's prompt on One Minute Writer:

What information or skill would you like to teach to others?

As a parent, this one really intrigued me...I mean doesn't that question pretty much guide our every waking moment? When you hear your three year old scold her babies it's like looking into a mirror, is that really the kind of maternal influence you want to be? Or what about when your six year old calls someone a "hater"...or even when they repeat song lyrics and can recite commercials. When the elections were in full swing, my big girl would say, "I approve this message"...I mean, it was hysterical, but just wrong, ya know?

There are so many things I want for my kids. I want them to be honest and funny and loyal. I want them to have a strong sense of right and wrong. I want them to have conviction in their decisions. I want them to be strong within themselves and not easily influenced. I want my daughters to know they're beautiful and I want my son to be a gentleman. But above all, I want my kids to be respectful.

I never really understood the true meaning of respect until a person from my past pointed out jut how disrespectful I could be. We were in a relationship and I wasn't a very nice person. I didn't respect his feeling towards me, I didn't respect his ambitions in life, I pretty much acted like a brat for eight months. I thought I was respectful to him because I used words like please and thank you...I confused respect with politeness.

I think being truly respectful is about putting yourself in other people's shoes. Imagine yourself being the checker at a busy Wal Mart, dealing with hurried people all day who don't take the time to smile at you. I get so frustrated when I see people being rude to teenage kids working retail...what if that was your kid?

I think about the number of relationships what could be salvaged if people treated each other with more respect. Sure your day is hard going into the office to deal with angry or demanding customers, but at least you can go to the bathroom without an audience...or at least your day ends at 5:00. On the same token, being a stay at home Mom is NOT, N.O.T. an easy gig, but neither is carrying around the burden of being your family's sole provider.

What about the boss/employee dynamic? I mean, we've all had our fair share of rude boss moments, but how many times have we stopped to think about their savings they invested in starting a company...a company that they're trusting us to help make successful?

I know I sound waaaaay preachy right now, and Lord knows I've fall VERY short of being the perfect girlfriend/customer/employee...but the difference is, I'm now aware of it. I'm working very hard on making my decisions in a respectful manner...and I've found that I feel a LOT less regrets living this way.

Alright...no real way to end this. I guess the IBH is over...I'll just be posting a little differently now. And if yall every feel a little writers block, head on over to One Minute Writer...it's kind of like the beginning of English class in high school, but you can't get in trouble :)

oh...and thanks Kisha, for introducing me to the site!

...this doesn't count

2009-01-07T23:24:00.004-07:00

I interrupt this Intentional Blog Hiatus (now known as the IBH and it's capitalized for a reason...you're gonna have to wait for that though...)

ahem, as I was:

I interrupt this IBH to make a confession.

I'm up at 11:25 watching Wizards of Waverly Place, and not because my kids are making me. I just so happen to LOVE this show...and Selena Gomez...and the new generation of Disney Channel kids in general...I'm also crazy about Selena's real life bff Demi Lovato. Did yall know they met on the set of Barney when they were six? Yall didn't? Weird. Anyways, Selena's character, Alex Russo, she's all witty and doesn't care what people think...and she wears funky mis-matched clothes, plus she's a WIZARD...I mean, granted, she uses her magic when she's not supposed to, but she always learns her lesson. It's still the Disney Channel.

I also watch The Bachelor just so I can read the recaps.

Feels good to get that all off my chest! Back to my hiatus now :)

Tiggady Tiggady Tagged Yall

2008-12-16T13:52:00.002-07:00

My 8th grade bff tagged me...and since I have nothing better to do, I GUESS I can be convinced to talk about myself for a tad. I mean, Ryland's climbing the Christmas tree and Cierra has removed all the pots and pans from my kitchen and is selling them to her babies...so why not take this free minute to blog?

8 Shows I watch:
1. Re-runs of One Tree Hill on Soap Net
2. Re-runs of The OC on Soap Net
3. The Hills
4. all the wonderful reality shows when they're in season, Amazing Race, Survivor, The Bachelor, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance...etc
5. Real Housewives (OC, Hotlanta and the like)
6. Rachel Ray...and I don't know why, she annoys the bajeesus out of me, but CC and I watch her talk show every morning
7. Everything and anything on Food Network...Giada, Ina and Paula are my homegirls
8. Without a Trace

8 Favorite Restaurants:
(None of which exist in Missoula)
1. Lupe Tortilla
2. Alicias Mexican
3. Red Fish (sushi)
4. Kaneyama (cheap sushi CAN be good sushi)
5. Toro (sushi)
6. TX fast food...chick-fil-a, what-a-burger, sonic
7. The late great, Tortuga...but only for cheese enchiladas and salsa
8. Cafe Express
9. ...I forgot Thai Spice
10...and I forgot Nit Noi (thai)
11...and I also forgot PF Changs

8 Things that Happened to Me Today
1. Ryland slept until almost 9:00
2. I made "Bistro Butter" to put on a steak when Kevin gets home on Thursday
3. I attempted to make my own pickles
4. I then realized I had no jars to put said homemade pickles in
5. I made sweet potato fries for lunch
6. I realized Ryland loves sweet potato fried
7. Upon deciding that she no longer loves sweet potato fries, I fed Cierra cucumbers for lunch
8. I got a Fed Ex from my Mommy full of packages for my kids...and then spent an hour moving them around so Ryland would stop un-wrapping them

8 Things I Look Forward to:
1. Hunter getting here on the 23rd...holy crap, I can't contain myself
2. Going sledding with my new Montana friend, Molly, and our kids
3. Having my other new Montana friend, Amber, come over tomorrow with her daughter (CC's new bff...Rylee)
4. making a snow man and having a snow ball fight with my boy
5. getting all three of my seeds dressed up in their Christmas finery for church on Christmas Eve...in the snow...happy sigh
6. going back to college
7. my next visit to Houston
8. fitting back into my Luckys

8 Things I Wish For:
1. To wake up 20 pounds lighter
2. Long glorious hair
3. Winning lottery numbers
4. Kevin to be happy
5. My kids to never feel regret and learn from every experience, good and bad
6. Confidence
7. Pearly whites
8. An airline that makes direct flights from Missoula to Houston for about $50 round trip.

8 People I Tag:
....um, if you read this...just do it :)

I can't think of a title

2008-12-15T23:14:00.003-07:00

Merry 10 days until Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had a long enough attention span to take, upload and post pictures on my blog, I sooooo would have joined in on Boo Mama's Christmas Tour de Blog...but I don't. And my measly attempt at Christmas-ing my Montanya home is not worth all the fuss.

BUT I do encourage both of you who read this to stay up all night (as I am) and check out all the fun trees and wreaths and mantles and love galore!

It's also worth mentioning that I don't feel the need to decorate as much this year because I am in the midst of my first ever "white Christmas"...and I must admit, there aren't enough gaudy glittery balls in all of Missoula to compete with the feeling that I get when I see a blanket of snow outside my window :)

A fly on the wall

2008-12-10T09:30:00.002-07:00

Just when the (sometimes) controlled chaos that exists in my life everyday starts to become second nature, I get a little slap in the face to bring me back to reality.

I should have known this was coming too.

Last night I was telling (ok, maybe I was complaining to) Kevin that I had nothing to do today. I finished all the laundry. The house was clean. He didn't have any office work for me to do. What on EARTH was I going to do all day today?

Talk about a jinx!!!!!!

I wake up this morning with a splitting headache. One could blame it on the kahlua mochatinis I made last night, but I like to think it was the weather. This was also the kind of morning where CC's up at 6:45 ready and raring to go...the same kind of morning where Ryland wakes up screaming. Not the crying screaming, but her screechy "I'm trying to talk to you" screams. The screams that, two hours later, are still continuing. These are not the screams you can ignore. They do not fade into the background. They only become more piercing as the day progresses.

Quick! Find something to put in her mouth so the screaming will cease...this shouldn't be hard, my baby is a bottomless pit. She eats all day long. (When she's not eating, she's moving...which is why she's skinny as a rail. She still does not sleep.) So when the screams get too intense you can usually sit her in her high chair with a bunch of mum-mums, gerber puffs and saltine crackers and she's good to go. Well not today! Today she prefers throwing all her snacks on the floor and laughing about it. But then she realizes that if the snacks are on the floor she can't eat them. So she screams...again. We repeat this over and over until I try bananas instead. Apparently it's more fun to smash the bananas into her hair than it is to EAT the bananas. Peas and carrots? They belong on the floor too. Mommy gives up. A jar of baby food? She spits it out. And then she smiles about it.

All the while, Cierra's in her room playing day care. Today she's the teacher of the baby room and her floor is COVERED in baby dolls that she's putting down for a nap. So on top of the screams from Ry I hear "Jason, get your mat" "Clara, Clara and Clara...wake up so you can go night night". Yes, wake up to go to bed. She's a tough teacher. And all of her girl babies are named Clara right now. Tomorrow they'll be something else, but today it's Clara. After nap time it's "cheerly girl prac-ace" and she's chanting...I mean SCREAMING..."give me that sing you need to rock wis...green green green green, goooooooooooold".

So there are now screams on top of screams...it's like I have surround sound. The screams are only broken up by the sound of my silent tears. I kid.

I give up on Ryland in her high chair about the same time that CC sends all her babies home for the day...and comes into the kitchen with my nemesis...Play Doh. The world's messiest toy. I turn my back on Ryland to give Cierra the standard "please don't make a mess and don't leave little pieces or your sister will eat them" and in that short time span, my baby has undecorated the bottom half of my Christmas tree.

So I run into the living room to get a wire star out of her mouth...just as CC spills her water all over the kitchen floor...and slips in the mess. So now they're both crying. And I walk away from the situation to fill up my coffee cup and bang my head against the fridge. Did I really say today was going to be boring? REALLY?

All this happened in the first two hours of our day.

Well now I can re-clean the house since it's covered in cracker crumbs and soggy play-doh. I can re-decorate the tree and just accept the fact that ornaments can't live on the bottom this year.

The girls are playing with plastic food quietly in their room. I'm taking some time to myself to type this. Perhaps we're on the up and up! hahahahahahahaha Sorry, I can't say that with a straight face...I know my kids too well. And rightly so, Cierra just asked me if she could play "no more monkeys jumping on the bed" with Ryland...gotta run!

What I did on my Thanksgiving vacation

2008-12-08T10:41:00.004-07:00

**warning...photobucket hates me and cut off the sides of all the pictures, so I'm attempting to remedy and will have full pictures soon...b/c half of these don't make sense without the rest of the pic...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr**

Our flight landed in Houston at 9:30 their time...making it 10:30 our time, and we got to the airport in Missoula at 1:00 so Ryland and I were exhausted...Hunter, on the other hand, was GIDDY. He had me and my Mom up until 1:00am just being a goofy little chatterbox. He even got in Ryland's crib with her:

Since we were in Montana for Hunter's sixth birthday, we had a little re-celebration...and Hunter really wanted Ry to have a piece of his cake!:

Ryland's first Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!

Ry with Mommy and her Godmother, Sophia:

After we ate, Ryland took a nap but woke up fussy...so Hunt crawled in her crib (again) to try to keep her company. That boy LOVES his baby sister:

After Trevor and I took our post turkey naps we took our favorite boy to our former Jr. High so he could play some football on a "real" field. He could even kick the ball through the "up-a-rights" so he was THRILLED. Trev and Hunter hopped over the fence just fine, but this chick right here wasn't exactly able to make it over said fence, so I took pictures from the other side!:

The day after Thanksgiving was my BFF Michelle's birthday. My kids adore her! Cierra calls her "my-shelf" so now we all lovingly refer to her simply as, "Shelf".

our friend, KP, playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band or something with Hunt:

We also ate plenty of Mexican food. Hunt's favorite is Casa Ole because he's a huge fan of the "chicken wheels":

Ryland's a huge fan of her Gerber puff's:

Mostly, we just enjoyed spending time together. Ryland and Hunter are so in love, and it warms a Mother's heart to see her babies so happy together!

(And yes, Hunter is wearing a football jersey of some sort in pretty much every picture. That's his obsession these days. )

BLOG OVERLOAD BLOG OVERLOAD

2008-12-04T21:21:00.002-07:00

What is my deal? When it rains it pours in my blog world.

I really just loved Heather's Christmas tag post so I had to do it myself...and here we go!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Christmas or not, wrapping the gift is sometimes more exciting for me than the actual gift itself. I ADORE gift wrap and good ribbon. All of my packages will coordinate with my tree, they will coordinate with eachother, they will be relevant to the person who the gift is intended and they will be pretty...and when I say coordinate I don't mean "matchy matchy". Isn't that a little ridiculous? The worst part is, my Mom, Sophia and I had a conversation the other night about what sort of "themes" we'd be going with for our paper this year. They feel my pain. But I do love gift bags too, the good pretty ones :)

2. Real Tree or Artificial? I love a real tree. It's so extra Christmasy to me...but ever since I became an "adult" and my ex-husband and I got our first trees...a HUGE real tree for the living room and another HUGE real tree for his study (so it could be seen from the street)...and we spent the next six months finding needles everywhere and healing from scratches all over our arms from hanging lights, I've had pre-lit artificial trees and pine scented candles!

3. When do you put up the tree? within a few days of Thanksgiving and I just love the way it warms up the living room so I hate to take it down. The room feels so lonely without it. One year my Mom just left it up and we decorated it for Valentine's Day too. We were going to decorate it for Easter and every other holiday too put it got too dusty.

4. When do you take the tree down? See above, oh...and when I moved from my apartment into Kevin's house (in Feb of that year) I had to take down my Christmas tree in order to pack it up to move it. It wasn't because I was feeling the holiday spirit. I just HATE to un-decorate and take down a tree. It's like unpacking from a trip...dread.

5. Do you like eggnog? I've never tried it. Can't bring myself too. But then again, it was never a tradition in my house.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? The Barbie Dream House my Dad got me our first Christmas in Texas. I was probably too big for it but I hung on the the Barbie phase longer than most kids. In the spirit of self preservation, I'm not even going to tell you how old I was...but I can still remember that overwhelming feeling of happiness on Christmas morning. We have it in the attic of my parent's house and I can't wait until my girls are big enough for me to pass it down.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Any grown man. They have a tendency to buy themselves the things they hint at wanting before you have a chance to gift it to them...ie, while I was in Houston, Kevin bought himself the Netbook I was going to get him for Christmas.

8. Easiest person to buy for? My Mom, Sophia and the kids...pretty much anyone besides the grown men in my life.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? I do. An amazing hand carved Italian one from my Grandma that is so special to me I can't bear to put it out while I have small kids because if anything happened to it I'd die. I know that is so superficial, I mean it's just a THING and the memories it would bring my kids should matter more...but I'll let the kids gaze upon their greatness when they're old enough to not use them to play kitchen or something.

10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Um, I love to receive them in the mail...especially since my friends have had kids and all...but I've have never once actually sent out Christmas cards before Christmas. One year I mailed them in March.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't even remember...

12. Favorite Christmas movie? "You're gonna shoot your eye out..."

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? when I was a workin woman it was after I got my Christmas bonus (which was the only way a single Mom could really afford to buy gifts) so it's always been pretty last minute.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I'm not tellin

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I'm really not big on messing with tradition (ask my Mom, I grill her every Thanksgiving to make sure the menu will be EXACTLY the same as every year prior)...and my family does the big celebration Christmas Eve. After church we have a buffet on the kitchen table and we munch as we open gifts...Chick-Fil-A nugget tray, shrimp cocktail and cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster, veggies and Dill Dip, crescent rolls, colby jack cheese cubes, raspberry ginger-ale and wine as we got older...am I forgetting anything Sophia?

16. Lights on the tree? White with coordinating and complimentary ornaments...but as kids my Mom had a tree with all the collected and hand made ornaments complete with colored lights and I just loved it as a little girl. So hopefully I'll be able to do the same for my kids when they're old enough to notice.

17. Favorite Christmas song? remember how I'm into tradition? well my Mom played the same few Christmas records (yes, I said records) since as long as I can remember so those will always evoke that Christmas feeling in me...when we moved into the house they live in now, my Mom had the old school record player upstairs and we still put the records on and just jacked up the volume so we could hear it downstairs. We've since found all the records on CD!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? My parents were the only ones of their families in Texas (my Mom's family lives in North Dakota and my Dad's in Arizona) so it's pretty much just been us at their house, with the exception of my grand parents coming down sometimes...so stay home I guess. Now that we all live so far apart it'll just be wherever we can get the most family together!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? nope

20. Donde esta 20 Heather?

21. Open presents Christmas Eve or morning? we open the gifts to and from each other on Eve and the Santa ones in the morning

22. Most annoying this about this time of year? *pulling out soap box* the growing trend to take the word Christmas out of Christmas...this year they lit the "Holiday trees" at the Uptown Tree Lighting. Um, they're called CHRISTMAS trees. They holiday is CHRISTMAS. If you don't like to say the word Christmas because it's somehow offensive to you, then don't celebrate the holiday. Don't accept the gifts. Don't take the bonus from your boss. Go to work on the 25th of December. No one has any issues with referring to the Jewish holiday as Hanukkah or the African American holiday as Kwanzaa...so why is it offensive to refer to the Christian holiday as Christmas? I'm just sayin...

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? A few years ago I was in this Moroccan kick with my apartment so I got these great ornaments that were dark purple, gold, bronze, dark red and burnt orange...it sounds funky but it totally works. promise. I've also seen great trees done in a dark aqua / blue and shades of green. Always love golds and whites. If I had un-ending decorating funds I'd have a tree in the girl's room that was flocked white with all glittery pink and silver ornaments and one in Hunt's room with pine cones and all things cowboy. A hand made ornament tree in the game room and the ginormous matchey ornament tree in the living room. A girl can dream. If I could afford it, every room would have plenty of adornment.

24. we're missing 24 too

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Well honestly, I've always always always wanted a Coach purse. I've been asking for Ray Ban aviators, a fun apron and a new watch for years. I'd love a good camera...like a Nikon or Cannon with the lenses and all. I want to get my teeth bleached. I'd adore some skinny...like a miracle pill or something. But really, the only thing I care about is spending Christmas with all three of my kids this year.

I know...I answer tag questions all rambley and it makes it kind of tedious to read my posts...but I'm a talker by nature.

My Big Girl

2008-12-04T16:04:00.002-07:00

During the very short week I spent with my family in Houston, Cierra grew up...so for the sake of memory preservation, here are some current CC-isms. She has the best little kid mis-pronunciations:

*At night she sucks her "stung" (thumb)
*She often asks me to do her a "favorite" (favor)
*About forty times a day she asks me, "Mommy, are you happy to me?"
*I'm thinking that her pre-school taught her to "be a good listener" because she always says she's going to "be listen"...as in, "Don't worry, I be listen"

And the best one EVER...

*Last night she asked me if I wanted to see her "poop"...that would be her hoola hoop

I know there are so many more, but I'm drawing a blank!

Her hobby of choice these days is to walk around with the camera and take pictures of EVERYthing:

her sister

herself:

Nene:

her feet:

her bike:

her baby:

Lisa and Sheree:

Usually I go through the camera deleting all 95 pictures CC takes each day, but I thought I should keep a few and now she's standing next to me, about to come out of her skin she's so excited that I'm putting the pics she took on my "block".

Gotta love that girl :)

Catching up

2008-12-01T09:45:00.003-07:00

I'm in one of my blog funks...I just can't seem to get motivated to post anything. I just now caught up on reading some of my favs but for the most part I've been a little anti-blogworld for a while now.

Anywho...I have been lucky enough to spend the last week in Houston with my family and the Hunt. Good Lord that boy turned into a KID! Plus he's six now!!!!!!!!!! I was going to post one of those long "Dear Hunter on your six year birthday" letters, but it makes a Mother sad not to spend his birthday with her baby, so I was a little weepy...plus his birthday occurred during my blog funk.

Since he's been living with his Dad my boy's preferences have gone from cartoons to ESPN. On Sunday he told me that we had to hurry home from church because NFL Football was coming on at 11:00! And watching a game with him is nuts...he really understands everything that's going on and he gets so into it! When he's not watching ESPN he's in the backyard playing football or practicing his golf swing. All boy I tell ya!

Oh, and spending time back in Houston has me constantly comparing life here to life in Montana. Soooooo different yall.

Texas definitely wins in the food category. Just this morning I realized that I'm leaving in two days and I still have so much left to eat. So I followed up my pancake breakfast with some left over Chinese food. I'll probably squeeze a turkey sammy and some left over fajitas in between now and dinner. I'm going to attempt to gain back all 15 pounds I lost in Montana in the next two days. If the last week is any indication, I'll probably hit my goal.

The other day my Mom and I ate mexi for lunch and a single tear trickled down my cheek when the waiter brought out the queso.

I wish I was kidding.

Montana sooooooo wins for weather though. I forgot how HUMID it is here. And it's Thanksgiving...it shant be 80 degrees out! In Feb I may decide that Houston wins back the weather category as I'm trucking through the snow. I'll keep you posted...well as long as I'm not in another funk.

Texas wins in the socializing category. It's been soooooo awesome to see some friends while I've been here. I didn't get to see everyone, and that makes me a little sad...but after having zero social interaction for 2-1/2 months, it's been good for my soul to chat with old friends! Maybe I should meet some people in Montana. Novel idea.

I've also taken to calling Montana "MontanYA" while I've been home. Not real sure why.

Montana also takes the news category. I'm so tired of hearing about someone getting shot. Or the person who was walking down Hwy 6 the other night (why?) and was hit by not one, but TWO cars...neither of which stopped. Ugh. There are too many people here, it just breeds madness.

Speaking of madness. I've never been much of a fan of the Black Friday shopping, fighting with some crazy caffeine binged Mom in a track suit over a game for Hunter's Wii is not worth the $5 I'd save...and after hearing about the seasonal employee who was trampled to death at the Wal Mart in NY...and the men who got into a gun fight at a Toys R Us (as my pastor said on Sunday, who brings a gun to Toys R Us????????????) I've decided that I will NEVER feed into that hype ever again. I can promise you this. You will never see me in a store on Black Friday. Especially since the only places I would go still have sales going on as we speak.

That got my all hot and bothered. I better soothe my soul with some pumpkin pie. Then my Dad and I are off to do a little shopping!

I have so many great pictures I need to post too...and lots of other kid related updates. So maybe I'll really break this funk with two posts in one day!

Viva la mexican food!

Real Quick...

2008-11-25T13:55:00.003-07:00

I got in to Houston late last night, and I'm happy to say I've already had donuts, kolaches and Chick-Fil-A...oh how I've missed you Texas!

I'm fat, happy and tired...and it's only the first day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also worth mentioning (as I run out the door to play football with my baby boy who turned into a KID overnight)...Ryland is in love with her big brother. He hung her moon :)

Indecisive-ed-ness

2008-11-10T18:25:00.002-07:00

Recently, I've been accused of being overly indecisive. I'm not going to name names, but I happen to live with said accuser. At first I blew it off...ya, indecisive, whatever. I'm just easy going. I'm as laid back as they come. I can't get all hot and bothered over such trivial things like making decisions.

Indecisive? Me? I don't think so.

Then I started thinking...dangerous, I know. More like obsessing. What he might think is indecisive-ed-ness is actually a very through thought process being played out in front of him. Instead of being annoyed, he should feel lucky to be privy to the inner workings of such a complex mind.

This is how it went down:

When Texas played OU my initial reaction was to go for Texas. Montana girl needs to be loyal to the Lone Star State right? Well, mid game my inner Aggie kicked in and there was no turning back. The Maroon in my blood wouldn't allow me to root for the enemy any longer. So I decided to root for OU instead. If yall aren't familiar with the outcome, I ended up picking the losing team. Those Longhorns always look so smug. Saw 'em off.

Same thing happened with the World Series. Prior to mating with a football player I was always a die hard baseball fan. I love love LOVE the Houston Astros, but the last two years have been spent knee deep in the pig skin...so I didn't even know who was vying for a spot in the World Series until we watched Tampa Bay win their series. Since we were along for their ride, and I didn't have any real ties to the Phillies, I decided I was going for the Rays. That was until I remembered my all time number one crush, Brad Lidge, was now pitching for Philadelphia. So I switched. And I think I took four years off Kevin's life.

As crazy as it makes him, he's come to expect that my standard answer to "what do you want to eat?" will always be, "I don't care...whatever", but now my alleged indecisive-ed-ness is interfering with his beloved, I'm flip-flopping teams during sporting events. How dare I? THE AUDACITY! And these aren't any ol sporting events! We're talking about the Red River Shoot Out and The World Series here!

I've tried explaining to him that I just have to go with my gut on these things. Sometimes I have to watch a little to decide who I'm going to pledge my undying loyalty to (for the next few hours at least).

Plus, I'm a girl. I pick teams because I think their city is preferable to the opponents city. Or because I like their uniform better. Maybe they have a better mascot. I mean who wants to spend hours yelling things like "let's go Nittany Lions!" I don't care how good Penn State is (or was, before the lost to Iowa)...you can't root for a team who's mascot is a made up animal! Right?

**Sidenote, UFC fights are an entirely different story...you always pick the better looking fighter. I almost didn't mention this because it's such common knowledge, but I thought I'd be fair and include it.**

Let me give you an example: Right now we're watching Monday Night Football, this is an easy decision for me...My reasons for choosing the Arizona Cardinals are three fold. One, McCain is from Arizona and I feel bad about the outcome of the election, so it's the least I can do. Two, I grew up in Tempe. Three, Pat Tillman, (a player who enlisted after 9-11 and was killed in combat) enough said.

But what if the Cardinals start beating San Fransisco really bad and they get all cocky? What if they start yelling ugly things like, "what's a 49er anyways?" "Yall don't even have a real mascot" "who's going to dress up like a gold miner?" What if their cheerleaders start actin a fool and picking fights amongst themselves? Am I expected to remain loyal amidst all this ridiculousness? Of course not. Does that make me indecisive? NO.

The definition of indecisive is, "one who can not make a decision" (I just made up that definition...I'm not gonna lie).

I CAN make a decision.

I just DECIDED to change my mind!

pulling up

2008-11-04T11:26:00.001-07:00

I hear Ryland crying in her crib...she's obviously up from her nap, but I wasn't expecting to see this:

The sixth of the sixth

2008-10-31T10:12:00.004-06:00

I'm doing Heather's tag....so above is the sixth picture from the sixth album in my picture files.

This is Claudius, my Dad's guide dog, playing tug with my Dad and Hunt. If you can tell by the look on Hunter's face, this is an all time favorite activity at my parent's house. For starters, it's one of the few occasions that The Claudster gets to act like a real dog and not a guide dog. His "ring" is one of the few toys Claud can have so we all really enjoy it...not gonna lie either, Claudius wins everytime. He's 85 lbs of pure muscle.

Ok, this is a hard post...there is so much I want to share about my Dad and Claudius and guide dogs in general. I'm going to have a hard time of organizing my thoughts so bare with me.

One day I'll explain how my Dad became blind, but for now I'll just say that it was THE most life altering change in my family's life...moreso than Hunter being born or anything you could even think of. It's been about 2-1/2 years now but for someone to go from full sight to no sight in a matter of days is more than most can comprehend. So last February when my Dad went to California for "dog camp" (as we like to call it...) and came home a month later with Claudius it was the greatest gift we could have hoped for. Claudius gives my Dad some freedom to do things on his own and not be dependant on us.

Since Claud is "working" most of the time, he doesn't get to do normal dog things...like play fetch or chase squirls. He doesn't get normal dog treats...but my Dad and the kids make him "dog-sicles" which is a piece of his regular dry food frozen into the center of an ice cube. Lord have mercy does Claud ever love those...if you open the freezer at my parent's house he assumes it's to get him a treat, so you better have one ready. We can't stand to disappoint The Claudster.

Little guide dog trivia for yall...there is only one guide dog of a particular name at a time, so there's only one trained dog named Claudius...on the off chance my Dad and him are out and cross paths with another guide dog, we'd hate for there to be any confusion. In my mind, when Claudius retires, his name will go back into the eligable dog name databse (which may or may not be a real thing...it's just how I understand it). And by "retire" I mean, retire from work as a guide dog, not retire in the final sense of the word.

Isn't Claudius the best dog name EVER though? It's so Spartan. You can't beat Spartan in my house. It's the ultimate compliment you can bestow upon a person.

From the day she was born, Claudius has had a slight aversion to Ryland. We think he's jealous. He LOVES Hunter and Cierra, he'll always be my Dad's dog first (he's been trained to be loyal to my Dad first and foremost...it's like the guide dog creed or something, I don't know) but Hunt is a very close second in Claud's world. As she does with all dogs, Cierra has a tendancy to "over-love" Claudius, but he's a trooper. Anyways, he'll love on the big kids, cuddle with them, let them use him as a pillow...whatever they want, but Ryland...he literally turns his nose up at her. When my Dad holds her, The Claudster full on pouts. I think he was ok with our family as it was when he met us...but then this new baby comes along and steals all his attention, and he's not havin it!

I need to dig up some more pics of Claud so yall can see how beautiful this dog is...he's the most gorgeous things there ever was.

I apologize for the non-flow-ed-ness of this blog but my baby girl has a cold and is refusing to nap and my big girl has asked me if we can go trick or treating every ten minutes...so my usual blog time has been compromised today!

So yall go do it now too...find the sixth picture in the sixth file in your pictures and blog about it! And do it now, before the sugar coma that comes along with this evening's activities sets in :)

My Baseball Boy

2008-10-24T10:34:00.000-06:00

2008-10-23T16:30:00.000-06:00

I love this picture

She Moves!!!!!!

2008-10-23T16:27:00.000-06:00

Today, on her six month birthday...we finally have forward movement! Just as I thought it would happen too, Cierra had something Ryland wanted so she crawled after her to get it. Of course the only shots I got were before and after the big event.

Guess what I found?

2008-10-23T08:58:00.006-06:00

The Camera Cord!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here are some of the pictures mising from previous posts!

These first few are from one of our Sunday drives...this is the kind of stuff we literally stumble upon. I always want to "drive up a mountain" so Kevin finds random roads and this is what we see:

Daddy and his girls...I can't believe they're all looking at the camera!

CC LOVES to wash the dishes, she asks me to do it every day...and what kind of Mother would I be if I didn't let her explore her domestic intrests...haha

The best purchase EVER...Ry loves this thing:

REALLY trying to crawl:

My beautiful birthday presents (Trev & Sophia sent me some awesome presents too and I loved the paper but I didn't get a picture...bad Erin) from my parents and Hunt, tulips from CeCe and a card from Sabrina.

The infamous chocolate cake...this was RIGHT after I took it out of the oven. I think I was pulling it out with one hand and taking my first bites with the other. I'm not even kidding.

Trying really hard to get a picture of the snow on my birthday

I look kind of crazy in this picture...maybe it's because I'm 28 now. We were trying to get the snow again.

Our drive last weekend...Kevin pulled off the side of the road so Cierra and I could feel if the water was cold or not. It was. But can yall believe that this is what's off the side of the road here? I can't even begin to describe how beautiful it is. On this particular drive I was asking Kevin why more people don't live in Montana...it's breathtaking. You can read my post from yesterday to find out the reason why I think more people don't live here. haha

Ok, this is the best...so we're heading down the road and there's a sign that says "Garnet Ghost Town" and there's an arrow pointing to this small road...so what else do you do when you happen upon a ghost town? Well you check it out of course!!!!!!!! It was 11 miles up a winding mountain road so it took about 30 min to get to it. This house was on the way up...there was a historical marker thing explaining that this used to be a mining area (Garnet Mountain) and they built a small cabin in this area for the fire watcher to sit for look out and check for forest fires. They've since made a newer cabin and it's used as a refuge for snowmobilers who run into bad weather. The cabin has fire wood, matches and a wood burning stove. So I guess if you like to ride snow mobiles in the woods I'd suggest you do it in relative proximity to this cabin...just in case.

The most amazing view in the history of views. They called this a "scenic point"...understatement of the century.

Cierra checking out the ghost town.

This is on the drive back down the mountain...amazing.

Trouble in paradise...

2008-10-22T09:34:00.004-06:00

The other day I ran to the store for some ice cream for my man and I nearly lost my mind. I stood in the frozen isle, DUMBFOUNDED, for like 15 minutes (no exaggeration) because I couldn't find the Blue Bell...then I remembered that they don't sell Blue Bell in Montana. Cracker Barrel (which I always call Crate & Barrel on accident) claims to serve Blue Bell with their pie, but I bet if I pressed the waiter he'd cave and admit it's just some dumb ol Northern brand of non Blue Bell ice cream.

They also show commercials for Chick-Fil-A here. But there is no Chick-Fil-A...so you get to see all the deliciousness on TV but don't even think about working up a craving for that insanely perfect chicken sandwich or the worlds greatest lemonade...don't even THINK about thinking about their Ice Dreams...Amanda, you feel me on this one sister. Don't even think about it yall, because there is no Chick-Fil-A to be found in my neck of the woods.

Last week I honestly drooled over a Sonic commercial for an extra long chili dog with tots and a Cherry Limeaide. You know what? There's no Sonic here either. Amanda said Sonic had failed her previously, so I kept telling myself not to miss Sonic. Sonic hasn't been living up to it's full potential so I'm not missing out right? RIGHT? can you hear the panic in my voice? I mean, can you read the panic in my words? Maybe I'll just walk to Arby's an order a Route 44 Diet Coke to prevent the shakes from coming on.

Why do they advertise food you can't get? Don't they know what that could do to a person? Especially a person who's addicted to food and very easily influenced by commercials.

I spent too many days craving the food I couldn't get here, so I decided to do something about it. I wasn't even going to attempt to replicate Chick-Fil-A...I mean who are we kidding here? I'm only one woman.

So I made chili...and we turned the left overs into chili dogs. They were pretty good too.

So the moral of my ridiculous little story is that if you are blessed enough to live in a city with Chick-Fil-A or Sonic...or Blue Bell...or queso...GO. Get off your computer and go eat, go eat it NOW. All of it. And send me what's left :)

I need an intervention

2008-10-17T12:15:00.003-06:00

Save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This chocolate cake is ruining my life.

I made it for myself for my birthday last weekend and unfortunately (or fortunately I guess, depending on how you look at it) there are only three mouths in my house capable of helping me eat this ginormous chocolate indulgence.

It's ALMOST gone which means my life is ALMOST back to normal, no more waking up in the middle of the night because the cake is beckoning to me from the kitchen. No more rushing home to eat a bite, or a plate full. No more explaining to Cierra that chocolate cake is not an option for breakfast.

But oh, how I'll miss the cake.

Next time I complain about this last chunk of baby weight that's hanging around...remind me of my love affair with said chocolate cake.

Erin One

2008-10-16T10:33:00.004-06:00

About three years ago I went to a wedding with my parents. During the reception I was introduced to someone I "should know"...apparently we'd gone to high school together, we had boys the same age, we shared the same name...and we were literally, the only two chicks at the wedding without dates. Well, I had a date, but he was three at the time.

Anyways, Erin O and I became instant friends...so did our boys. We spent countless days at their house, enough that her neighbors started calling us Erin One and Erin Two, I became the "wanna be neighbor", we coined the phrase, "Best Tuesday Night EVER", we re-named her street Debauchery Lane and we laughed, a LOT.

About a year after we met, EO told me that this hot guy was moving back to her street...he used to live on "Debauchery" but when he moved away he kept his house as a rental property. Circumstances brought him back to Houston, so of course he moved back into his house on the same street as my new friend. The only thing she told me about him was that he was a single Dad and he used to play pro-football. Sounds interesting, no?

So one Monday I invited myself and Hunt over after work (nothing new) but I beat Erin home, so I walked down the street to talk to Sid and there's this little girl in his driveway! Cutest thing, she has curly hair, big hazel eyes and her ears are pierced. That was when Sidney introduced me to Cierra. Obviously I'd noticed her Dad by now, but I got all dumb and shy and I didn't even introduce myself, so he stuck out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Kevin"...and I fainted, I kid.

A lot has changed since Erin and I first met... actually, that sentence doesn't even do justice to the amount of change that has occurred since we met. I look at life much differently than I did three years ago, but I still think Erin is one of the funniest people I've ever met. She's a GOOD friend, loyal and she'll tell you what you need to hear - even if it's not what you want to hear.

So what's with this little walk down memory lane? Erin started a blog today...woo hoo. Happy reading, sister will make you laugh FOR SURE.

Kevin and Sidney:

Our boys, instant BFF:

Erin One, Erin Two, Erin One, Erin Two:

She moves!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-15T22:45:00.003-06:00

Kevin and I have been saying, for months, that Ryland is sooooo about to crawl (she's not even six months old yet, we may have jumped the gun a tad)...she's been holding herself up on her arms and rocking a lot, but just as she was doing the up on all fours and about to make a move she figured out how to pull herself along on the blanket she plays on...so she had no need to crawl. Hunt did the same thing. Homeboy went from rolling everywhere to walking, he then began crawling after he learned how to walk, but still...if they figure out a way to become mobile that comes easier than crawling...why crawl? Resourceful little ones, my kids.

Well lately Cierra has been a little too interested in Ryland's toys...it makes Ryland so mad too, she looks at CC and just screams at her...hilarious. And the sibling rivalry begins. Anyways, so Cierra had moved some of Ryland's favorite toys out of her reach today and after screaming at her sister, Ryland rolled off her Boppy and on to her tummy spun around into position and crawled BACKWARDS to get her toys.

She was so proud of herself too, she looked over at me with that huge gummy grin and started cracking up. She spent the rest of the afternoon crawling backwards (does that make it more of a scoot than a crawl? whatev) all over the place and actually got stuck half way under the couch a few times...

Oh...also forgot to mention that she's already trying to break out of her crib...more times than not, when I go get her in the mornings there is an appendage hanging out from between the slats. Usually she just pushes her arm under the bumper pad and then out the crib, but one morning she had both legs all the way out too. Here's hoping Walmart made a crib sturdy enough to hold my baby girl :)

28

2008-10-13T13:38:00.002-06:00

Ah, yesterday I turned 28...that is a number dangerously close to 30.

This is the first birthday in 28 years I haven't spent with my Mommy! But as she put it, we were lucky to have 28 together...she moved away from her Mom when she was 21, so she knows what she's talking about!

I had a great birthday though, CeCe and Chris sent me some beautiful tulips in a very hip square vase and I got a sweet card from Sabrina...not to mention tons of texts messages and e-mails from my awesome girlfriends.

My parents and Hunt sent a box full of presents wrapped in the prettiest paper...I have pictures of all of this but the camera cord is officially lost, so I need to figure something out!

My most favorite thing I got though, is my new embroidery kit!!!!!!!!!! I saw a link on Pinkcoffee Photoart and I've been obsessing over everything on the website ever since...I have visions of embroidering everything in site with skulls, cherries and dancing spoons...but we'll see how well I actually do at it!

On Saturday we took a drive into the mountains....hands down, my favorite thing to do in Montana, but something I feel like Kevin's about to get sick of, he thinks we've seen it all...we're going to have to work out a compromise, something along the lines of...we still take drives every weekend and Kevin learns to love it. I'll keep you posted. Anyways, so on Saturday we drove up to Lolo Hotsprings and it was BEAUTIFUL...the road was at the base of two mountains and it was one of those super curvy roads that would make you car sick if the view wasn't so spectacular. At one point Cierra and I had to get out and admire a tiny patch of snow, it was the first of the season so we were very, very excited.

THEN...on the way back...get ready for the drama here...yall, we saw a bear! Kevin pulled off the side of the road and we sat there and watched a massive grizzly walk along the ridge of the mountain. It was crazy. He (the bear) would stop[ and just look at our car...and can you believe it? We didn't have a camera with us. But we saw a bear...who else can say that's what they did on Saturday? Later when we were telling my parents all about our adventure CC told my Dad that you can't go get by the bear because it'll tackle you and hurt your ear. (she's still recovering from an ear infection....so in her world, everything hurts your ear)

Sunday morning...my actual birthday...I took a bath, which was fun....taking a bath for once instead of just giving them all the time, and when I got out of the bath. IT WAS SNOWING!!!!! It snowed on my birthday :) Cierra and I tried to get pictures but snowflakes don't photograph so well. Once I figure out a solution to the lost camera cord, I'll share what we were able to capture of our first snow fall.

And just one more thing I need to mention, for sake of preserving the memory...as I type this there is a ginormous mound of CC's things in our entry way. The girls share a room and space is tight, so I'm kind of on her all the time to keep her babies and puzzles picked up. Well, today she wasn't havin' it. Today she told me that instead of picking up her things, she'd rather just throw them away. Of course I had to call her on it, so I said it was a great idea...we could give all her toys to other little girls who don't have anything...well, she took all her toys...ALL of them, even her brand new pink "pump pumps" from Grandma (pom poms...she's obsessed with all things "cheerly girl" at the moment). Her backpacks, puzzles, babies, baby accessories, her SHOES...everything is piled up in front of the door ready to be packed up in the boxes Kevin's bringing home after work. Any motherly advice on how to handle this?????? Because we all know she's going to change her mind in a day or two...so then what? Seriously...help a sister out with this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright...hopefully I'll solve the camera dilemma soon and update this post with some pictures, but in the mean time I'm off to iron my Mom jeans and find some seasonal sweater vests...you know, things almost 30 year olds do. I kid, I kid.

Marriage

2008-10-10T10:18:00.003-06:00

"The View" has struck again.

I don't know what it is with me and that show, I hate it, yet I watch it...it's my own personal car accident that I allow my brain to become grid locked at every morning.

This morning Kevin took Cierra to the doctor so instead of flipping between that and Higgly Town Heroes I just left The View on in the background whilst Ryland and I battled it out over her morning applesauce (I was out of bananas...a mistake I won't make twice). Thankfully the Hot Topics wasn't all Republican bashing, instead my nemesis, Whoopi, brought up an article or something she'd seen about how to "encourage" your boyfriend to marry you.

What not to do: withhold sex, beg him, force him, cry about it, bring it up non-stop, have emotional outbursts at weddings, etc

What to do: be around happily married couples to show him it's not all bad....and I'm sure a bunch of other super use full advice like that *insert sarcasm here*

I didn't think much about it...as usual, I lot interest about 15 min into the show and went off to pick up CC's room. While sorting babies from puzzles from play food I was listening to the christian radio station here...honestly I didn't even realize that's what I was listening to right away. Instinctively I turned the radio on because I'm a sucker for background noise (ie The View) and after a while I realized that Cierra must have changed the station since last time we were in her room playing cowgirls. A song came on that caught my attention...it was about how, slowly, black and white fades to gray...at the end it said, "families don't crumble in a day" and a child recited, "be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear". I literally got chills.

Families don't crumble in a day.

And then that silly segment from The View popped into my head...how to "encourage" your boyfriend to marry you.

There was a time, wow...nine years ago now, that I was all for "encouraging" someone to marry me. I met this guy, he was older than me, stable, from a great family...and I was 19, struggling through college, I had a horrible relationship with my Dad at the time, and was really just floundering. It wasn't a month after I met him that I withdrew from college and moved back to Houston...we became super close super fast and I immediately began talking about getting engaged. He was 25 after all, that's like SUPER grown up right? And I was 19, I knew what I was doing. I was ready. I wanted the big fancy wedding and a house and a stable man in my life...that's what a marriage is about right? So I encouraged. And it worked. In my stocking that Christmas I had an engagement ring.

We'd been dating for about 8 months, I had just turned 20 and I was ready to get married. I didn't think for a SECOND about what it meant to pledge myself to him for the rest of my life. I thought about the wedding and how fun it would be to be a a grown up and be married and show off a diamond ring to every guy I'd known in my past.

Well, we all know how well that turned out since I'm divorced now. My ex has since re-married and from what I can tell, they seem to "fit" sooooo much better than he and I did. Plus he had one failed marriage to look back on as what not to do...we can say I primed him. I'm kidding here.

Nine years, one divorce and three kids after I met my ex-husband, I obviously look at marriage much differently. I think that, besides having kids, it's the biggest decision you can make in your life and the last thing you should feel the need to "encourage" someone to do. If you don't go into a marriage with your whole heart and your BEST intentions you're not giving yourself or your partner what they deserve. Personally, I don't want someone to marry me because my "encouragements" worked...I want someone to marry me because that's what's in their heart. I don't want to get divorced again. I don't want to battle through another failing marriage because I nudged someone along who wasn't all the way there yet.

DUH right? It all sounds so obvious when you write it out like that.

With that being said...my ex and I didn't wake up one day and say, oh enough of this marriage nonsense, let's get divorced! Our family didn't crumble in a day. Years of neglect on both parts creeped up on us.

My previous marriage has been on my mind soooo much lately and when I watched that lovely show this morning and then heard those song lyrics it all clicked together for me. I let my last marriage crumble because, in part, I had put no REAL thought into the commitment I was making. I got married for all the wrong reasons and did nothing to ensure it would last. Kevin and I may not be legally officially by the powers vested in me by the state of Texas or Montana or wherever, husband and wife but that doesn't mean I love him any less or am any less committed to him than I would be if we were married. And I'm going to do EVERYTHING in my power to make sure it lasts...and Lord knows I ain't "encouraging" him to pop the question before he's gooooooooooooooood and ready. (If yall know Kevin you know that the quickest way to make him NOT do something is to try and force him TO do something...so my encouragements would have a severely adverse reaction anyways).

Since families don't crumble in a day (a saying I will repeat over and over and over if need be, just so that it becomes permanently engraved in my subconscious) I am going to wake up every morning and make the decision to not EVER let my family crumble. I am going to be the best Scheidt Pesak Household Manager that I can be (yall like my new title? I'm thinking about getting a name plate for over the kitchen sink...)

I'm having a hard time finishing this the way I want to...my thoughts are getting all jumbly in my mind (my brother calls that "attention deficit, oh, something shiny" or "ADOSS" CC and I both suffer from it, keeps things exciting...poor Kevin).

Ok, what I'm trying to say is...if you're not careful, if you don't have your priorities straight and if you don't make the decision to make it work...how will you ever give yourself or your partner a shot at a lasting marriage? And call me crazy, but "encouraging" someone to marry you doesn't sound like the right first step...Amen?

This post had such good intentions...sometimes I just can't make it all come together on here as good as it sounds in my head, ya know?

Real Quick...

2008-10-09T10:35:00.001-06:00

It was 26 degrees this morning...and the forecast for this weekend is snow.

that's all I have to say about that.

What Makes Me Happy

2008-10-06T21:38:00.002-06:00

Heather writes one of my fav blogs...and whilst catching up on my reading tonight I came across her post about what makes her happy and I just had to share my list as well!!!!!

So here is my list of 25 random things that make me happy.

1. Watching Hunter and Cierra watch a dancing show and dancing along with the dancers in front of the TV. (sorry for the over usage of the words dancing and watching)
2. Cooking for my parents.
3. Tweaking a recipe and making it better than the original.
4. Ryland's smile...she smiles with her whole face and she looks just like me as a baby.
5. Walking out my front door to see mountains.
6. When I tell Kevin I want to drive up a mountain and he finds a road.
7. Having spent the last year attending a church that I miss.
8. Listening to music with Hunter. He always surprises me at how many lyrics he knows.
9. Trees with leaves that have changed to fall colors.
10. Cierra's curly hair.
11. A new season of Survivor.
12. Burts Bees chapstick.
13. Watching Ryland smile at her brother and sister.
14. Seeing how proud Hunter and Cierra are to be a big brother and sister.
15. Having the relationship with my parents that I've always wanted.
16. Wine.
17. Being proud of the person that I am...even though I'm not at all who I thought I'd be.
18. Good hair days.
19. Festivals.
20. Grocery shopping.
21. Re-runs of Will & Grace. I forgot how hilarious Jack & Karen were.
22. Memories of summers with my grandparents on their farm in North Dakota and knowing that my brother has all the same memories.
23. Being in the same room with Kevin and all three of my kids . Since it happens so rarely it's something I've grown to REALLY appreciate. I hope everyone who has the ability to be with their whole family at the same time can appreciate what a gift that is.
24. Girlfriends.
25. My bed. There's nothing like your own bed!

Your turn!!!!!

Food Stuff

2008-10-06T11:42:00.002-06:00

When I grow up I want to be The Pioneer Woman.

I have been waiting for the right time to try this recipe and I finally made is last week. Holy mother of pearl. It's gooooooood yall. I'd never made anything with cabbage before but I trust P Dub when she says something's good...her food is RIDICULOUS. She's right when she says that this recipe makes enough to feed a small army....Kevin ate on it for days and it stayed good. If yall need to make something for a pot luck or whatever....make this. You'll impress, I swear.

From a link off the PW website I found this recipe for won ton soup. It kind of takes...um, FOREVER to make all the won tons, but it was super good. I didn't add the bok choy or noodles...just the won tons in broth, but it made me feel fancy so I thought I'd share. I LOVE cooking Asian food so there's a lot more on this site I'm excited to make!

This weekend Ryland decided that she likes baby food...fruit only, but it's a start. She went from only taking a few bites at a time to eating the whole jar, so that's fun. Well it was fun until this morning when she ate a whole jar of bananas (yelling at me between each bite because I couldn't feed her fast enough) and a full 8oz bottle...she started falling asleep at the end of her bottle and choked a little bit...the choking induced a coughing fit that ended with the entire jar of bananas and the full bottle all over my clothes. I called my Mom and asked if that meant I had to feed Ryland again.

And now CC and I are off to Cold Stone...there's one within walking distance to us and a kid's cup is only $1.50 (no sales tax in MT) and it makes for great bribery. "CC, if you let Mommy sleep for five more minutes we can go get ice cream today"....works every time!

Keepin it real

2008-10-03T09:10:00.002-06:00

I wouldn't be me if I didn't through a little randomness in the mix.

First of all, thank you for all the kind words after my last post! I was kind of nervous to put it all out there about Hunt...maybe because if you'd asked me five months ago if I would have made this decision I would have said, not no, but HELL-O NO (a nine year old taught me that)...and I probably would have thought a Mother was sub-human for making the same decision I ended up making. Apparently I needed a little life lesson on judgement right? Anyways, thank you for the prayers and support.

Talking about leaving Houston on my last post has kind of opened the flood gates...I'm a super emotional person and when I feel a rush coming on I try to divert it. I'm not ready for a good cry yet...mainly because I know that when I do let it out I won't have my Mom or my good friends right there if I need them. Well all this bottling it up is starting to get to me. My friend Amanda (yall know her, yall read her blog) just posted about Sonic not really being up to par...the thought of not being able to go run out for a Junior Burger and Route 44 Diet Coke just made tears well up! Are you kidding me? Over SONIC? This just after I listened to a Christmas song my friend Crystal recorded...if I knew how to put it on here I would. She is AMAZING. I'm coming to the realization that if I don't let it out soon I'm going to end up losing it over a commercial or something ridiculous like that!

Cierra just asked me if "cheese the wheels" was a bad word...she was going for "jeez louise"

Speaking of fast food...when I go back to Houston in November for Hunt's sixth birthday and Thanksgiving I plan on eating the following: my weight in mexican food, Jack-in-the-Box (you don't want it until it's not there), Chick-Fil-A, Sonic, What-a-Burger (what's with Texas fast food having all the hyphenation?), sushi - and lots of it, sea food, something cajun, chorizo and eggs from a taco stand....my mouth is watering. I love Montana, but food is not their forte...bless their hearts, they try on mexican food and sushi....but when you're that far from Mexico and the coast, you really just shouldn't go there.

My Mom just called...they're finally picking up the pile of debris from their yard this morning and it's inmates doing the labor! She said they're wearing orange and white jumpsuits and it says County Jail on the back! Crazy!!!!

I'm boycotting The View. I hate how they have poor Elisabeth there as the token Republican. Dumb ol Joy and Whoopi don't even let her get a word in...she could be in the middle of a very valid and well researched point and they cut her off. I think Sarah Palin could single handedly save the economy and they still wouldn't give her enough credit...not saying that she could single handedly save the economy, I was just making a point. Anywho, it gets my blood boiling...so I'm not going there anymore.

Do yall have one of those friends who you call right before you're about to freak out so she can tell you if you have reason to lose it or if you're just being hormonal? I do. Her name is CeCe. She's saved me from LOTS of ridiculous outbursts. Anyways, last night we had a date to watch Grey's Anatomy, drink wine, and text eachother during the show with lots of "oh no she didn't"s...well the debates interrupted out date. I was so mad I didn't watch them...and I normally would have. If yall don't have a CeCe....go get one!!!!!!

Ryland has very significant feelings towards her food. She will NOT, under any circumstances, eat Rice Cereal out of a bowl. If she's in the mood, she'll take pears from a spoon...but those times are few and far between. I'm not going to start panicking over her spoon hatred until she's six months old...that's my own personal timeline. Also, when you try to give her the bottle and she doesn't want it she arches her back, kicks her legs out, squeezes the mouth tight and her whole face is bright red...if she doesn't want to eat, sister isn't eating. And when she's drinking her bottle and she decides she's done she just spits what ever' in her mouth out....and with force. But when she's happy about eating she smiles at her bottle and talks to it when she's done. I think I'm in for it with this one!

Ry's favorite toys right now are her toes and her Daddy's empty water bottles. She'll play with her soft books and babies if you give them to her, but she usually just rolls away from them after about five minutes and sticks her toes in her mouth instead.

Anyways, I could go on...rambling is what I do best...but I need to cut it short and go wash the dishes...not that what I just wrote was short by any means, so I guess I should have said short-ER....I'm going to cut it short-er. Whatever.

October 1st

2008-10-01T09:53:00.002-06:00

So today is the first day of October. September is officially behind us, a month that encompassed more change in my life than I could have ever imagined!

In this last month I packed all our belongings and said goodbye to our Texas house. A house that I'll always remember as the first home Kevin and I shared together...the house where our separate lives became one family, where Hunter and Cierra became brother and sister. For the last time I cleaned the kitchen that we stood in when we found out we'd be having a baby together. I swept the floor in the garage where we made the plans to open our coffee shop. So many memories in that house...hard times and sad goodbye when Kevin was leaving for Montana and the anticipation when he was coming home. I'll never forget pulling into that driveway with Ryland for the first time...big Welcome Home Ryland banner on the garage. Leaving that house was so bittersweet. On one hand it meant we were on our way to live with Kevin in Montana but it also meant so many goodbyes. That house will always hold a special place in my heart. At least it's still in the family...my brother and his girlfriend moved in! haha

I had to make the hardest decision of my life in September. A few months prior we learned that Hunter was more than likely not going to be able to move to Montana with us. The State of Texas believes that, regardless of the circumstances, it's in the best interest of the child to live in the same (or contiguous) county as both parents...so even if the "primary parent" moves out of state (or even city for that matter), the other parent can have the court impose geographical boundaries that prevent the child from being able to move. Days after we brought Ryland home from the hospital my ex-husband had me served with paperwork letting me know that he was going to pursue the geographical boundaries...so this has been on our hearts and minds every second of the last few months. To say that this decision has been all consuming is an understatement. On one hand I have Kevin, who is committed to working in Montana for at least the next two years and on the other hand I have my baby. My son. My first born. The love of my life. How on EARTH am I going to make this decision?????

I finally came to the heart wrenching decision that it was in the best interest of ALL of my children for the girls and I to move to Montana with Kevin and to let Hunter go to school with his Daddy. Four and a half years ago I made the selfish decision to leave my marriage and cause Hunter to be raised separately of his two parents...and if I can avoid that for my girls, I need to do that for them. Hunt and his Dad are SUPER close and he's ecstatic to be living with him. My ex is remarried to a woman that Hunter adores so he'll have the benefit of two parents raising him everyday and he'll spend all his holidays and summer vacation with us here in Montana. I pray constantly that he'll thrive in his new situation. If we ever cross your mind, please pray for my boy...pray that he doesn't feel like I chose Kevin or the girls over him. Pray for his heart and mind to be nurtured daily.

I need to add that I chose to share the pain of this decision for two reasons...one, because I'm using this as a journal/scrapbook of sorts and I want to remember everything about what's going on in these crazy times of my life right now. Also, if my choices can, in any way, help someone else going through a similar situation, it's worth it for me to put it out there. Most people I've talked to about this have a hard time understanding my decision...and I hope no one reading this has to ever "understand" the pain of making a decision like this. Thankfully, 99% of my friends with kids won't ever be faced with a decision of this magnitude...so they can't relate and I'm grateful for that. As weird as that sounds.

Anyways...moving on.

September also brought me my first real hurricane. It was so ironic that after all the years of living in Houston, I actually experience a hurricane for the first time just days before moving out of state...and out of "the cone of uncertainty" for that matter. I don't even know if Ike made the news in Missoula. So much has been said about the devastation and loss that came with that storm. I don't mean to take away from that in ANY way, but my storm story was a lot less dramatic. Thursday morning my ex let me know what we were able to go get Hunter out of school. He lives in Pearland now, and his zip code was literally across the street from a mandatory evacuation zip code...so I grabed the girls, jumped in the car and spent the next four hours fighting traffic to go get my boy out of harm's way. Friday morning as we watched the storm surge overtake the sea wall even before the hurricane hit, my Mom and I realized, that like so many others, we hadn't taken the necessary precautions. Our idea of hurricane food was a fresh block of Havarti with dill and some black pepper crackers...oh, and I made a Texas Sheet Cake. Unfortunately we were a little late as the grocery stores were sold out of all the PRACTICAL hurricane food. Luckily the neighbors had a generator and a stocked pantry! That night my Mom and the 't kids and I took pictures outside every hour so we could chronicle the changes in the wind...it was so surreal when a big gust came through, if the wind hadn't been a sign of such devastation it would have been awesome. That night we lost power and I sat up all night watching my parent's windows vibrate from the strength of the wind. My parents live in NORTH Houston too so I can't even imagine what was going on at my ex's house in SOUTH Houston. Saturday morning we woke up to see my parent's yard absolutely demolished! They have...or I should say, HAD, a ton of mature trees in their backyard...and they live on the golf course so there's no back fence, there's also a bayou back so we expected a lot of limbs to be down...but it was just insanity. The neighbor across the street, Mr. Mike, and I spent all morning in the rain removing the debris from the gutters on our street and the ones around ours...we like to think that we single handedly saved the neighborhood...haha. Later that afternoon we found out that my townhouse had power so even though we'd moved out already and there was no furniture...my folks, the kids and I spent the rest of the weekend enjoying electricity and cable. Monday morning we woke up and left Ike behind as we got on the plane for Montana! It was such a change, the farther we got from Texas, the farther we got from hurricane talk...it was all anyone talked about at the airport in Houston, Ike got a little buzz in Denver, but was no where to be found in Missoula.

Saying goodbye to my parents was so hard. I'ven seen them EVERY day for the last few years and they were such a help to me when Kev was in Montana. My Mom and I cried at the airport and not a day has passed that Cierra hasn't asked to go to their house. I don't think you ever outgrow needing your parents. Right now I have a cold and I want my Mom's chicken & dumplings. I know how to make them too, and Kevin's pretty hand in the kitchen as well...but I want my MOMMY to make them. And watching Glenn Beck isn't the same without my Dad right there with me. I'm so lucky to have parents that I MISS.

Once we finally made it to "Big Sky Country" we spent the last half of September enjoying a REAL Fall. We drove through the mountains, I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season, we went to the University of Montana Homecoming parade...it was like in the movies. A small town parade in the fall..are you kidding me? We went to a potluck with all the ol peeps...CC made a ton of new friends that live around us. They're the "Hannah Montana Crew". Ryland is now sitting up and has her first tooth (top right). We got a ton of veggies at the farmer's market and have made the best roast chicken and beef stew with them. We sleep with the windows open at night to let the cool air in and we enjoy being together as a family again.

I miss Hunter more than I can ever explain but I'm overwhelmed with joy everytime I see Ryland smile at her Daddy. I still look at Montana as just a chapter in our lives. I could have never imagined us being here so I'm not even going to try to imagine where we'll be after this. September was a mix of emotions and I can't wait to see what October holds for my family!

the first, last and only...

2008-09-10T08:39:00.002-06:00

Yall are in for a treat...today you are all privy to the first, last and only recipe post yall will see on my mess of a blog. Mainly because if I didn't come up with the recipe I have a hard time taking credit for anything. But this little diddy...threw this one together on my own. WOO HOO.

I LOVE to cook. I cook three meals a day and usually a dessert or two a week. This is a) the reason I haven't lost baby weight and b) the reason my parents let me and my plethora of kids come over every night (and live with them for two weeks while our house is in between here and Montana)

And now I'm going to stop being so hard on myself and re-do the first paragraph. I come up with originial recipes quite often, it's usually from throwing together whatever's on hand and seeing what we can come up with. It almost always turns out well. I've only had one bomb lately and that was because I used hot Italian sausage and it was toooooo hot. The reason I'd have a hard time posting recipes though is because I could never explain the measurements...I'm a "some of this" "little more of that" kind of gal. I have the hardest time recreating anything I've made...so how can I possible explain it to yall? We'll I'll try ok.

I'm making this way too ramble-esq. Here we go:

We had a roast the other night so I decided the leftovers needed a good home.

-1 to 1-1/2 cups of the shredded roast
-1 of those itty bitty cans of green chilis (that are super cheap so you should always have them on hand...they add a touch of mexi to anything you make)
-the left over corn from roast night...I'd say it was about 1/2 a cup...and frozen corn has a more crunchy texture similar to fresh corn, and in my opinion frozen corn is something you buy the brand name version of...Bird's Eye Super Sweet Corn in the Steam-in-Bag is the BEST.
-a plethora of shredded cheese (I always have a ginormous block of colby jack because it is the most versatile and you can snack on it too...but I was at my Mom's and she had about 1/2 a bag of the pre-shredded stuff left so I used that)

-egg roll wrappers...they live in the produce section with the weird veggie-soy-cheese things...usually next to the packaged fresh herbs. Egg roll wrappers and won ton wrappers need to become your friend. You can make soooooo many things with these babies and they're easy to use and inexpensive. Wally has them for $1.97 a package...that will work for a few meals!

Now for the assembly...oh, go back and pre-heat your oven to 350...when you open the egg roll wrappers put a damp paper towel on top of them so they don't dry out.

lay one wrapper out and put a good spoon full of your meat mixture on the diagonal...dip your finger in the little bowl of water I forgot to tell you to get out and run it around the edges so it sticks all good to itself ("it" being the wrapper here)

so you have the meat in on the diag...roll that bottom corner around the meat, tuck the edges under, roll some more and when you just have that top corner hanging out, put some more water on your finger and make sure it's all coated (lightly damp) and it'll stick to the already rolled section beautifully. Did that make any sense? I should have taken pics last night.

once all your diddy's are wrapped and rolled...I brushed the tops with melted butter and sprinkled them with coarse sea salt...baked them at 350 for some minutes (forgot how many) until they get semi golden and look delicious. And they are...they are delicious. They won't look as brown as if you fried them, so don't hold out for that color...but you'll know when they're done.

Good grief...I made that more difficult than it should have been.

Oh...and if you don't just happen to have leftover roast on hand...you could use any ol' shredded meat, just make sure it's not greasy and not covered in gravy because I feel like it would make the wrappers gooey or something.

That was a fun time of sharing...now go forth and buy some egg roll wrappers :)

My school boy

2008-09-09T10:05:00.004-06:00

My baby is in Kindergarten...bittersweet to say the least. He's such a big boy. I was praying he'd have a wonderful teacher. Someone who actually cared about their students, a teacher like my friend Missy...and it seems my prayers were answered. Hunt's teacher is soooo sweet and she really put this Mom's mind and heart at ease.

He's on his third week already but yall know I'm not the post prompt picture poster (ahhh, alliteration, I love it). Just thought I'd share!

A change in vocabulary

2008-09-09T09:02:00.002-06:00

In less than a week I'll be trading in my "yalls" for "you guys".

It's like when you're about to have your baby...the nine months that once felt like an eternity has suddenly crept up on you and you feel ridiculously unprepared.

Kevin got his job in Montana back in January so the fact that we're moving up there, eight months later, should be old news to me by now...but instead I feel rushed. I have all these Texan things I need to do in the next few days.

I need to eat more mexican food. I need to say "fixin to" as much as humanly possible. I need to go to Jack In The Box, and Sonic...and Whataburger. I need Blue Bell ice cream. I need to go to HEB. I need to break a sweat putting my kids in the car...in the "fall". I need to stock up on bottled water during hurricane season.

What happens when I get sick and I need my Mommy? I may be 27 (ok, well practically 28) but when I get sick I still want my Mommy. She'll be 2000 miles away!!!!!!! United better come down on airfare the first time I get sick, that's all I have to say about that.

But you know what? I'm going to get to see FALL yall. (that's the season when I hear leaves change and the weather is all crisp and beautiful...I've never seen one for myself but that's the rumor). I get to dress my kids up in warm Halloween costumes. WE GET TO BUILD A SNOW MAN. I get to wake up next to my man every morning. We get to go to church as a family.

My Mom's been telling me that life is all about change, and it is! People move. They make new friends. They get used to new climates (yall it was 48 degrees this morning in Missoula...I'm just going to leave it at that). They travel to see their parents. Not everyone is lucky enough to live 3 minutes from their Mommy. So I'll just adjust. I'll miss my friends and family like CRAZY and I'll miss so much about Texas too, but I'll take this new chapter of my life in stride...and I'll wear Don't Mess With Texas t-shirts every chance I can. A girl's gotta represent.

me

2008-09-04T16:08:00.002-06:00

I AM … losing my blogging motivation. I think I need to change up my page and get going with a new theme or something.

I WANT… to go a whole day without comparing myself to every other Mother I see or hear about.

I HAVE … a ridiculous addiction to chewing my cuticles, especially when I'm nervous. They're absolutely RAW right now.

I KEEP … receipts in my wallet, and I don't know why...I never even look at them again and they just create more clutter.

I WISH I COULD … love my body for the things it's accomplished instead of hate it for being all big and cushy.

I HATE ... that I have a laundry list of things I hate to chose from on this one.

I FEAR … what will happen if we elect a smooth talker who doesn't even like the country we could put him in charge of.

I HEAR … Ryland talking...she's found her voice and boy does she love it!

I DON’T THINK … I'm any less deserving of God's blessing just because I live a life that's different than yours.

I REGRET … asking too many people's opinions about decisions I need to make on my own.

I LOVE … my kids and Kevin more than I can ever describe in words.

I AM NOT … married.

I DANCE … with my kids to Miley Cyrus and the Camp Rock songs.

I SING … "Ryland Ryland bo byland banana fana fo fyland me my mo myland...Ryland" and "Hunter Hunter bo bunter banana fana fo funter me my mo munter...Hunter" but doing it for Cierra trips me up. I drive my kids crazy with that.

I NEVER … use coupons....ME NEITHER

I RARELY … answer the phone when you call. It's not intentional, my phone stays on vibrate because I can't stand any of the ring tone options.

I CRY WHEN I WATCH … pretty much anything. I'm super emotional. Have yall seen the Carrie Underwood video for "Just a Dream"???

I AM NOT ALWAYS … on my best behavior.

I HATE THAT … Sarah Palin's abilities as a Mother are being questioned because her teenage daughter is pregnant. Can yall imagine if our Moms were held accountable for all of our bad decisions? Lord have mercy.

I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … my inability to answer this question!

I NEED … a glass of water.

I SHOULD … get off the computer.

I lied...

2008-08-17T21:37:00.002-06:00

My Mom just told Hunter to eat a banana because it was good for his prostitution.

I don't know

And she just told me I'd live to regret it if I posted her slip up...she's poking me in the ribs but I just can't stop. The world needs to know

ugh, I always forget something

2008-08-17T21:04:00.002-06:00

In reference to my previous post...I knew I had more to say:

11. Cold casserole is my mana from Heaven (mana when mana was good and saving lives, not mana when they were tired of it and missing their leeks)...I would pretty much choose one of my Mom's casseroles over any other meal on the planet...so when I decided to take dinner (and the aforementioned ridiculous amount of cookies) to someone from church I knew it had to be a casserole...and I made extra for us for dinner. The leftovers have been on the counter and I keep going back for a fork full of the cold deliciousness. I love casserole.

12. My kids are doing those adorable honest little kid prayers...the other day before breakfast Hunt said, "Dear Jesus, thank you for my Mommy, thank you for my TV, thank you for my sister's cell phones, thank you for my food, Amen." Today before lunch CC said, "Thank you for my Grandpa, thank you for my church, Amen." It's one of those things I've been looking forward to them doing and it just makes me smile every time.

13. Jamaica grows the fastest people ever. They're not human. They're machines. It's amazing

14. Whilst cheering for the Olympics Hunt always goes for "The Americas" first then he likes China because that's where "come fu" is from...he's all about "come fu" ever since he saw "come fu panda". He also likes Germany because we have some friends who live there...and France because he felt bad when America pulled out the win in the men's swimming relay.

Ok, I think that's finally it.

Goodnight my peeps.

So much to say

2008-08-17T19:50:00.004-06:00

Again, I have too much to say and my pretty little head can't organize it well...therefore I present you the following blog, in list format:

1. I just got done making a ridiculous amount of cookies to take to someone from church (and also for my Dad...if anyone thinks that Man can't live off sugar alone, they have yet to meet my Dad) and Cierra is just not ok with the fact that I'm not letting her eat anymore...she's been trying every excuse in the book. She just told me that she needs to eat a cookie because it looks like it's going to fall off the counter. I gave her the cookie.

2. If I had to write a back to school report it would be entitled, "What The Summer Olympics Mean to Me". I am a massive Summer Olympics junkie. I mean MASSIVE. My TV hasn't left NBC since 8/8/08. I cry everytime an American wins. Some of my favs have been Nastia Liukin and her Daddy at the women's all around, Shalane Flannagan and her Mommy when she placed third in the 10,000 meter race and of course Momma Phelps everytime her son won....must be something about the parents showing so much emotion for their kids, it gets to me on the Mom level.

3. China needs to change the name of their "women's" gymnastics team to "Huggy Bear Daycare and Gymnastics Squad"...I'm pretty sure the average age of girls competing for China is nine.

4. Last night Kevin called to tell me that "Dara Torres is a Spartan Woman"...that is the highest complement he can give a person. (The movie 300 has a special place in Kevin's heart. He had to buy a new Blue Ray copy for Montana).

5. Did yall watch our men win Bronze at the gymnastics team finals? How amazing was that? And with two alternates?!?! And how bad did we feel for the third alternate who didn't get to compete? Did yall see him crying in the stands????????? He sooooo should have gotten a medal too. Just because.

6. My boy took me on a date the other night....we went to eat mexi food, he wanted a restaurant where you could eat chips while you waited...AND he picked up the tab. After dinner we rented Drillbit Taylor. It's FUNNY. Hunter told me that was the best night of his life. I'll let you pause to wipe the tears away...

7. If it's in any way possible, I think my baby is teething already. Ryland ALWAYS has her hand in her mouth and she drools like a mad woman. Right now my Mom is carrying her around and she's gnawing on her own forearm...my baby will chew on absolutely anything, she also has a fondness for her big brother's finger. I felt around in her mouth for any teeth popping through but haven't found any yet...but still, if yall saw her you'd think she was teething too. I promise.

8. Sophia introduced me to a fitness bootcamp last week. There aren't words to explain the amount of pain my body has been in since we started on Monday. My fat rolls are sore. I'm beyond determined to lose this baby weight faster than I lost it with Hunt...so far it's still slow going, but this class just has to help. Pain like that better come with a side of six pack abs.

9. I also tried running one night last week. I have this crazy notion that I'm still an athlete so I push my body too hard and end up hurting myself...I wonder if my bum knee will get me out of some running tomorrow night at boot camp. I know it won't, but a girl can dream.

10. Ok, so I don't have a number ten and I had a lot less to say than I thought...but here's a little teaser. When I upload some pictures my next blog is going to be titled, "Hunter and Green Stuff"...I know, I know, yall are on the edges of your seats.

Edourdo

2008-08-06T20:09:00.002-06:00

He spells his name all confusing, but Edourdo provided us with some good rain yesterday...

So we went to my Mom's, they closed the court houses down town so she was off work.

"The Instigator" aka, my brother, Trevor

My free spirited girl had to lose the umbrella, it was crampin' her style

She tried swimming in the puddle

Hunt staged a battle with his army men...they escaped in a rather large canoe

Hunt thought about losing the umbrella, but he's my practical one

Trevor was shaking water down from the trees onto my boy

All the while Ryland was inside being entertained by Grandpa

Here she's all, "Grandpa, that joke is soooo old"

So is this her sympathy laugh?

Back outside Trevor and the kids are building a dam in front of the driveway

Cierra, soaking wet at the end of it all

Later in the day CC and I made cake balls (attempting to give Hunter 5 min of peace where he didn't have his little sister following his every move)

Mixing the batter

What happens when you hand CC the empty mixing bowl?

Well this, of course...and I have no idea what's up with her pose in this one

Here Hunter is showing us what "a cowboy would look like if he was mending fences in the summer or something"

And that's what we did during the big scary tropical storm :)

because yall care

2008-08-04T15:14:00.002-06:00

first of all, "because" is one of my hardest words to spell...so is "business"...maybe it's the "u"???

Anyways, I have a ridiculous attachment to coffee...I refuse to call it an addiction because that makes it sound so ugly and tawdry, and there is nothing ugly about the way I feel for my dear coffee. Tawdry, maybe...but ugly, never.

At Bible Study last week we talked about the difference in just wanting something and CRAVING something...well it's safe to say that I CRAVE coffee...crave as in it creates this all-encompassing obsession and I can't think about anything else until I get coffee.

I blame it on Perky's...the drive-thru coffee and espresso shop Kevin and I briefly opened last summer (I should tell yall about it one day, it was an experience full of life lessons). I was in charge of running our shop, so my non-morning-person self had to be that friendly *awake* "Perky Girl" who's properly making your over priced hard to pronounce coffee drinks at 5:30 in the morning, six days a week. This required me to consume 8-10 shots of espresso on a daily basis. To put that in perspective, a Starbucks drink has 1-2 shots, depending on the size.

It's safe to say that such a ridiculous amount of caffeine has left it's mark on me...a mark that has gotten very expensive since I have to BUY my coffee now (instead of just drinking away our inventory...hmmm, maybe that was where our profits disappeared to).

Since I HAVE to cut back my spending I decided to break out the good ol' coffee pot and I've replaced my lattes with regular coffee...but let's not forget that I'm part evil-genius, so instead of milk I use Vanilla Silk (soy milk) and add cinnamon to the whole beans before I grind them up...this makes for a happy medium between boring coffee and a $5 drink from Starbucks. AND the genius part of it all is that I make a huge pot every morning so I have left over coffee to make into the DELICIOUS iced coffee that I'm drinking right now...which was the idea behind this post.

I know it's not life changing, but I thought I'd share...and I because I know yall care about what's on my mind at random times, I really posted this for all of yall.

You're welcome.

Bows Yall!

2008-08-04T14:13:00.004-06:00

Bethany is doing a giveaway on her site...check it out ...it's for BOWS...from Bella Bowtique (cute name huh?). Never thought I'd get excited about bows but I have two girls now, so bows are the name of the game!

Cierra

2008-08-02T22:08:00.004-06:00

So Cierra as morphed into a twenty-something virtually over night.

If I was a friend of mine, or someone not directly responsible for raising her to be a respectful young lady, I would be cracking up at the things she's come up with in the last few days....but since I'm her Mommy and her wacky-ness reflects right back onto me (especially since I'm with her 24-7), I'm beginning to worry. Some of her new behaviors I see in me, but for the most part, I honestly have no idea where she's coming up with this stuff.

The other day I told her to do something (I don't remember, pick something up, put something down whatever...I was giving her instructions) and she said, "You're not the boss of me..." with that little head waggle thing divas do. I mean I know my girl has some diva in her (NO clue where she got that from, haha) but this was like full on you can't tell me what to do attitude...to which I responded (with my best diva head waggle), "you bet your bootie I'm the boss of you" "no you not Mommy, nobody the boss of anybody"...sigh.

The other night CC hung out with Grandma for a few hours so I could recover from the worst headache in the history of headaches. When my Mom brought her home I asked her if she was a good girl or if she acted ugly at Grandma's house. She cocks her head to the side, shrugs one shoulder and tells me, "Ya, I was a teeny bit ugly"...um, so thank you for the honesty?

Cierra refuses to go out in public wearing anything other than her purple Barbie high heels...they have feathers & sparkelies on them...so I kinda can't blame her. She has the walk down too. CC's flip flop, excuse me, I mean "frip frop" walk is that of a normal 3-1/2 year old...she walks like a kid. You throw a set of heels on that girl and the hips get workin too. A while ago we were in a Kinkos and she had the heels on (I think these were some pink ones with sequins) and she was doing the hip shake on her way out the door, the guy working behind the counter said "oh no she didn't!" Yes, yes...I'm afraid she did.

CC is VERY particular about the cup in which she will drink her milk or juice. She'll stand at the counter and point to the cup she wants. I've tried flexing my Mommy muscle and forcing her to just drink the milk out of the cup I give her...but that always ends up in a battle of the wills, and frankly, hers are stronger than mine. Up until it met it's demise on my wood floor yesterday, her cup of preference was a wine glass. My girl absolutely refused to drink out of anything other than a wine glass. Seriously, no clue where she comes up with this stuff. I have this perfect mental image of her standing there in Tinkerbell panties, a shirt that says Daddy's Super Star, purple Barbie heels, drinking milk out of a wine glass and wearing my ginormous sunglasses.

DIVA!!!!!

She also LOVES to play pretend. She'll sit down next to me and say, "Sooooo, how was you work? My kids drive me CRAZIES, they hollering and fight, I put them in tie OUT. I work on the puter in my office. You work on the puter?" all the while she's doing the hand gestures and her voice has all the proper inflection. So we get into these long conversations about our day and how crazy our kids act. She'll pause briefly to talk to the imaginary kids next to her, she'll laugh at them, reprimand them, tell them, "oh you good guuuuuuuuuuurl, you sit up so good....my baby learning how to sit. She a BIG girl". It's like she's sitting at a coffee shop with her girl friend. I love indulging this part of her personality.

Part of her playing pretend is that she's my friend, Michelle. She's always called Michelle "My-shelf" so now she just refers to herself as "Shelf". Thankfully she usually gives me a heads up if she's Shelf or if she's Cierra...because if you call her Cierra when she's CLEARLY being Shelf, you'll never hear the end of it.

Oh, and if she gets mad about something and you try to make her happy...she just says, "NO, I mad now!" So my Mom was telling her that it's ok to get mad sometimes but you have to be mad for a reason. Now it's, "I mad for a reason!" I've tried asking her what that reason is, but she just repeats, "I mad for a REASON I said" apparently we need to explain what "reason" means.

All in all the girl's just pure entertainment. She can make you want to pull your hair out at times, but she's just a blast! Gotta love my girl!!!!!!

Rice Cereal?????

2008-08-01T20:42:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I was at Walmart (shudder...I loathe Walmart) picking up some formula for Ry and I decided I'd go ahead and buy some rice cereal. I figure my pedi will give us the go ahead at her 4 month check up so why not just buy some now, right? Wrong.

It didn't sit in my pantry for 48 hours before I decided I'd just TRY to feed her some. I mean, I have the bowls and spoons...I even have the tray for her Bumbo chair. Why not just see how she does!?!?!?!

Well, why don't yall take a look at the following pictures and let me know how you think it went:

So in summation, is Ryland ready for rice cereal? That's a big no. "Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full" (if yall know what I'm talking about here that pretty much makes you awesome)

Ugh...HONESTY

2008-07-14T22:12:00.003-06:00

I Just saw this commercial for Chillis where five or so people are on a conference call, get put on hold and decide to play...oh snap, what's the name of the childhood game where you take the chair away and walk around in the circle until the music stops, fight over the chair? Oh, I really can NOT think of the name of that game.

Anyways, so I'm watching this commercial and the STRANGEST thing happens...I'm instantly jealous of the girl in the cute black pencil skirt and ruffled button up shirt. I mean, ya, she had the typical skinny TV figure and perfect hair, but I was jealous of something much more embarrassing...her conference call.

For the last few years I've envied the Moms who don't have to go to work every day...you know, the ones who have all this free time to work out and cook great meals and keep a spotless house all while maintaining valuable friendships and staying up on current news so that they can carry on relevant adult conversations? You know the kind. They're also called martians. Or urban legends.

I've mentioned this before, but my short experience with stay-at-home-momdom has not gone as previously hoped. Top that with spending the last two and a half weeks in Montana...land of the perfect, organic, cut my own kid's hair, grow my own food, recycle everything so that I have no trash, run 12 miles every morning while my family sleeps type of stay at home Mom and I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in over my head.

What I miss are the days at my last two jobs when my bosses would call me in to meetings (or conference calls for the sake of staying on topic here) and ACTUALLY want to know my opinion on something. I miss putting on a pressed pair of good fitting pants, a button up shirt and great heels to go to a trade show and exchange thoughts on technology in education. I miss getting up, getting ready, drinking coffee and making small talk with co-workers, I miss the relationships you make when you spend 9 hours a day with other adults. I'm jealous of the cute girl on the Chillis commercial not because she was cute, but because she was at work...albeit a fake job, but in my head it was a job where her talents held value and there was even a pay day to show for it.

I guess this is the ultimate in greener grasses issues for women.

I'm BEYOND thankful that I'm in the position to spend time in Montana when I could easily be at work wishing I was here instead...but it's still a catch-22. Being able to spend all day with my kids I get to see all of Ry's firsts and I get to be the one to teach my bigger kids new things...but I'm someone who dressed up as "a business man" for Halloween as a kid. I've always thought I'd be a super awesome bad-a$$ suit wearing business woman (or lawyer, but that's another post). So while I DO love this life, I still miss the days at the office.

Perhaps this is why play groups exist? Or MOPS maybe? Linda, Amanda...I'm not sure entirely sure what MOPS is, but in my head it's former crime fighting business women turned stay at home Moms who discuss pre-school kids whilst tackling gas prices and climate change. Correct me if I'm wrong.

So this was just me being honest. I'm sure if I went back to work (being a sales / marketing assistant as I've always been...not the awesome pistol packing suit wearing life changing business woman I many have hoped for) I'd long for the days when I could rock Ryland to sleep for her afternoon nap and play pretend with Cierra while waiting for Hunter to get home from school.

I guess that's just the honest truth about being a Mom...just one of many, right?!?!

MUSICAL CHAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was about to keep me up all night!

Missoula es en fuego

2008-07-12T21:23:00.004-06:00

Did I write that right? I just needed a little Spanish...As wonderful as Missoula is, there is NO Mexi influence here...don't even get me started on their attempt at mexican food...ugh

Anywho, THE MOUNTAIN CAUGHT ON FIRE!!!!!!!! Wednesday night we watched Mt. Sentinel burn. Remember when I told yall about the mountain you could see from my favorite park here? Well apparently a few kids accidentally started a grass fire that over took the land mark here in town. Mt. Sentinel is the mountain that has the "M" on it and it's Missoula's version of the Hollywood sign, so it's a pretty big deal! It was absolutely surreal to stand in the backyard and watch black smoke billowing up...I mean we could literally see the fire line. Just crazy. I could go on about the fire, but I included a link to the news story from today...my point of this post is something else.

Our landlord is a scientist who's working on her doctorate at the University (of Montana...here in Missoula) so I will probably butcher her explanation of what I'm trying to get to...but I'll do my best.

She said from a scientist's standpoint, this grass fire has an upside. As all forest and grass fires do, they clear the way for NEW and GOOD growth. (No homes were destroyed in our fire here, so I'm not making this analogy to ALL wild fires (California and such))...apparently "non native" grasses, plants and weeds are brought in in a variety of ways and they over take the natural plant life that is supposed to grow. It really messes with the wildlife on the mountain and it compromises the integrity of the environment here. On the trail we hiked last Sunday there were signs posted that the forest department had released certain insects to try to rid the valley of certain non-native weeds, so this is obviously an ongoing battle. Missoula is overall a very "green" town, and with good reason, people who live here are proud of and protect everything that is natural. I can't say it enough, Missoula and the surrounding areas are breathtakingly beautiful.

So while it's natural to be sad when you see the formerly green mountain side blackened by fire, it could be looked at as the opportunity for an even better mountain. How freakin' deep is that????????? I know, I know...I've told Hunter a million times that "freakin'" is a bad word, but I couldn't think of anything else that I just needed that umph.

Isn't that just as true for life in general? When we have non-native weeds that overtake our lives and all of our attempts at ridding ourselves of these...um, buggers? (I am having such a hard time with words tonight but I'm just dying to make this post, so forgive my choices here...where was I?)...oh ya, the weeds...sometimes all we can do is burn everything down and start from scratch.

I look at this in reference to my own life and that horrible time in my past when I was battling with so many demons and I tried (fruitlessly) to rid myself of these "buggers" one weed at a time. What I needed was a good ol' grass fire. Just knock everything out at once and start from scratch. And in hindsight, I think I had one.

You know that time in your life when it feels like everything has fallen apart and you're just sitting there dumbfounded and lost? Maybe that's our opportunity to start over!!!!!!!!! Well, no maybes...it IS our opportunity to start over.

Get all of those WEEDS out of the picture and start with fresh soil. Take full advantage of this opportunity for a new beginning and take the necessary precautions to keep the weeds out for good this time...I know, it's getting a little cheeseball, but it's so true isn't it?

I hope no one reading this blog is in a stage in their life where they need a "good burn" or even going through one...because it's such a painful time, I cringe when I think about that time in my life...but driving around town, walking to the park, or even sitting in the backyard, I can see the black burned grasses on Mt. Sentinel and it's no longer a depressing sight for me...it's hopeful.

It's a constant reminder of a fresh start and second chances, and that's what this blog (and my life) is all about. A person who's no better (who's probably worse) than anyone reading her blog. A person who's been through it all (literally) and who's made it through one impossibility after another (no, really)...someone who's sitting here on the opposite bank, looking back at the river full of currents no one should have made it through just thanking God for that good grass fire!

Clothes on the line

2008-07-08T16:54:00.003-06:00

I will have you all know that I just got done hanging clothes on the line. Yes. Hung them outside to dry instead of in the dryer. It was FUN!!!! Not real sure why exactly, but I had fun hanging wet clothes on a wire stretched between two metal poles in the ground. Maybe it was the weather worn wooden (I love alliteration) clothes pins, maybe it was the warm Montana sun on my arms (notice I said warm, not breath sucking hot and humid as I assume it is in Houston), maybe it was just knowing that life moves as a much slower and kinder pace here...no need to rush your clothes through the dryer when you can hang them out to dry.

That's a perfect example of how I'd compare life in Missoula to life in Houston. Everyday Cierra and I walk to the park (it's about 8 blocks away), with Ryland in the stroller...we WALK there yall. Kevin has the car most days and I really don't mind. We have to cross a semi busy street to get to it and EVERYtime the cars stop to let us pass. Missoula is cool like that. In Houston if you saw a lady pushing a stroller holding the hand of a three year old you'd just zoom on past and think she was a loony for walking somewhere she easily could have driven....not here, you step up to the curb and traffic halts. Love it.

Not to mention how great it feels to WALK places. It's that same feeling as hanging clothes on a line to dry. It's almost old-fashioned, but in a really good way. Like going to the farmers market to get your veggies...well the veggies you don't grow yourself in the back yard. And going to potluck with the neighbors every Thursday night. Neighbors who cut their kid's hair themselves. Neighbors who hold your baby so you can eat. It's just that kind of life here.

Yesterday morning when I'd noticed our bread (brand name, Montana Wheat...no Mrs. Bairds up here yall! they buy local...LOVE it) had gone moldy I just walked three blocks to the bakery and bought a small honey wheat loaf fresh out of the oven. Maybe you should re-read that sentence. In case you decide not to, I'll repeat it for you. I WALKED TO THE BAKERY AND BOUGHT A LOAF OF BREAD FRESH FROM THE OVEN. Oh, and I ate it (still warm) with some home-made strawberry rhubarb jam I got at market. It was as good as it sounds...maybe better.

And the park we walk to? It's a huge grassy expanse sitting under a mountain....and it has a splash pad....and an awesome play structure. It's full of Moms and kids and day camps and nannys. If you're there at lunch time you'll see the occasional Dad meet his family there for a picnic on his lunch break. Today a 10 yr old boy set up a lemonade stand that offers free refills...he never leaves without making $50 a day he tells me. I may have crossed paths with a future business mogul. Even though I'd packed snacks and drinks I still bought CC and I a cup of pink lemonade (as did most of the Moms)...you gotta support that kind of entrepreneurship. There are usual a handful of college girls laying out (I try not to focus on them, they haven't had babies....they're 20...you get where I'm going here). It's probably the greatest park in the history of parks.

So I just filled yall in on my day...feel free to be jealous. Missoula is amazing. Oh, and on Sunday....we went hiking :)

One day I'll take my computer to a wifi cafe downtown and post some pictures to go along with these stories...and I can assure you that they'll just show you that these things I'm describing are even better than you can imagine!

happy sigh,
E

Big Sky Country

2008-07-05T09:37:00.002-06:00

Well I see why Kevin took a job in Montana. It's BEAUTIFUL yall. Absolutely beautiful.

We've been here for a little over a week now and I've been meaning to get on and tell yall all about how awesome it is in Missoula, and just as a sit down to type...Ryland wakes up. Kevin's laptop has internet here, mine doesn't (not sure why that is) so I don't have a lot of chances to get on here....but maybe today after we go to Market I'll make it back on....but for now, my baby needs to eat :)

Oh...and yes, I said we're headed to "Market" as in the Missoula Farmers Market that happens every Saturday morning. Ya, it's as great as it sounds. Last week Ry got a BONNET. How cute is that?

Love from Big Sky Country,
E

Tag adendum

2008-06-21T07:22:00.001-06:00

I also tag Kisha :)

my Heather...Sonic Speed Tag

2008-06-20T15:59:00.004-06:00

Kevin sees me on the computer and says, "are you going to blog about how within 30 minutes of being home I've fixed everything in the house?" hahaha...he just had to fix the garbage disposal for me. Sure is nice to have him home :)

But no, I'm not blogging about Kevin...I was tagged by Heather, and as much as it pains me to talk about myself (hahahaha), I kid...I love question & answer posts!!

1. What was I doing 10 years ago? I had just graduated high school and was planning to head off to Texas A&M. I was totally an adult...17 and ready to take on the world! I've mentioned this in a previous post, but I'll be hesitant to send any of my kids straight to a big college like that after high school. Too many temptations that I was NOT mature enough to handle.

2. My Favorite Snacks, I LOVE snacks!: I love snacks too...and chips and salsa will always be my number one. When we were kids in Arizona my Mom always made us "cheese crisps" which is just a tortilla with shredded cheese stuck under the broiler and cut into pizza slices...dip it in salsa and it's pure heaven yall. I also love popcorn, almonds and yogurt (not at the same time)...oh, and Popsicles too. OH veggies and dill dip, love that too.

3. Five things on my to-do list today....today is not a normal day, I don't even have five things to do. I've been working hard all week in preparation for the ONLY thing I had to do today....pick Kevin up from the airport :) happy sigh

4.Things I would do if I were a billionaire: write a massive check to the Building Fund at church, pay Greg off so we could stop this court battle and we could all move to Montana together...assuming we'd still move to Montana if we were billionaires. Pay off my parents house but not tell them so they'd just get a letter in the mail saying their house was paid for. Pay off my Dad's medical bills and pay for the top-est (made up Erin word) plastic surgeon in the world to give him whatever reconstructive surgeries he'd like. Buy my Mom her Expedition back that she had to sell. Pay for Trevor to go to college. Buy Sophia a cottage. OBVIOUSLY I'd pay off our debt...and Kevin and I would build a dream house. Set money aside for three kids to go to college (ouch). Take my kids to Disney Land. Do all sorts of little things for people that they'd never expect and not tell them I did it...and clearly I'd have to pay someone to manage these billions that I've already spent a lot of.

5. Five jobs that I've had...1. retail 2. lifeguard 3. activities director at an apartment complex 4. office manager for a high end residential interior designer 5. and my favorite job ever, doing marketing and research for an educational technology distributor where I developed a serious passion for education...I'll tell you all about it sometime.

6. Five places I've lived 1. San Clemente, CA 2. Tempe, AZ 3. Houston, TX 4. Pearland, TX 5. Missoula, MT (wishful thinking)

7.Five random things people wouldn't know about me: This is tough because I'm such an open book, I really don't hold much back, but I'll try! 1. I have a heart shaped freckle on my left arm that I'm incredibly proud of (I have millions of freckles but this one is seriously a perfect heart)...I'm a hopeless romantic and I think it's proof that I'm destined for a fairy tale ending. 2. the thought of working out in front of Kevin is mortifying for me...maybe because I'm not one of those chicks that looks all freshly done and dewy whilst exercising. 3. I write blog posts in my head all day but when I actually sit down at the computer to post a blog, I draw a blank...then I decide to post some random blog about nothing but when I'm done all these other great ideas come to mind...frustrating yall! 4. speaking of "yall", when we moved to Texas I swore I'd never say "yall" or "fixin to", and I say both...LOTS. 5. I think I'm a really good singer when I'm jammin' in the car, so I turn the music down to check...and sure enough, I'm sooooo not a good singer.

8.Five cds that I'd have to take on a desert island 1. Aerosmith, Big Ones (a greatest hits) 2. Bon Jovi, Cross Road (it's a greatest hits too) 3 & 4. Marc Broussard, Carenco & Momentary Setback 5. both of Miranda Lambert's CDs and The Wreckers...see how I totally snuck seven CDs in there? haha

9. People I tag are.......CeCe, Fia, Linda, Sab, Missy & Stephanie

Rock On,
E

my bad

2008-06-19T00:22:00.002-06:00

a while ago I posted something where I dogged Kate of John & Kate Plus Eight and I said she always seemed mean and they knew what they were doing having six babies from infertility treatments....and now, as I'm up with a wide awake 7-week old watching a little "catch up on John & Kate and their journey to eight" (that's not what they named the show...but they should have)...I'm feeling like such a biatch.

A. they just called me out and said that in all the history of fertility it's only happened 14 times that someone ended up with 6 babies...so there was no way they knew this could happen

my bad

B. I only have three kids and I can promise you that I seem mean ALL the time...so with her having eight, ya...

my bad

MY BAD yall...I must have been having a bad day when I posted that. I think Ryland is finally ready to fall asleep. PRAISE GOD.

Goodnight for real this time :)

just some stuff

2008-06-18T21:40:00.003-06:00

I'm the self proclaimed queen of random posts...so here we go:

I'm in the process of downsizing my closet...significantly downsizing my closet. I just got rid of a huge black yard working body bag sized, um...bag, of clothes and I could do more. By "got rid of" I mean "set aside to donate"...don't worry. Usually when I go through my clothes I find myself saying, "well if I lose a bunch of weight and get some of those bony looking shoulders this might look cute" so I keep it. Today I said to myself, "self, you will never have bony looking shoulders, you are a woman of substance and bones will never protrude from any body part that has the ability to be covered by the remnants of mexicana food...rid yourself of this reminder that you will never see bony shoulders". So I got rid of a lot more clothes then usual. Then I felt bad for feeling bad that I'll never have bony shoulders. Ultra skinny is out right?

Speaking of ultra skinny...there is something wrong with me. For the last 6 weeks I have been eating sooooo good and working my butt off every day...and I have not lost one single pound since I left the hospital. Not one. And to show yall I know that a taco salad isn't diet food, I'll give you a run down of a typical day's menu:
breakfast is a Spark (Advocare...see Sabrina) and two whole wheat low fat nutrigrain waffles with a tad of spray butter (which is a total of less than 20o calories)
if I get hungry before lunch, which I rarely do, I'll eat a piece of fruit
lunch is a salad of some sort...most common is just spinach with poppyseed dressing (sometimes I add fruit or nuts to this salad too) or a spicy southwest boca burger chopped up on lettuce with some salsa
snack is almonds or fat free yogurt
dinner I make stir fry a lot with mostly veggies, some chicken and brown rice...or pretty much any lean protein and veggies...if I really want potatoes I eat sweet potatoes.
if I need something sweet it's a skinny cow fudge bar
lots of water...other drinks are diet coke or if I need coffee it's a skinny latte
And exercise wise...today I'm so sore I can barely walk up the stairs.
Are yall freakin kidding me? All this torture and not ONE pound I've lost? Plus I still look like I'm pregnant! People ask me when I'm due!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh

Tuesday I started my first Bible study. WOOOO HOOOO. Amanda had to make the announcement that "we're going to use the index to find Jude..." which was a shout out to her sister (me) who couldn't find Jude to save her life. Did yall know it's not even a whole page? The entire book of Jude? And those Bible pages are paper thin so Jude is a hard one to just stumble upon if your flipping, like I was. Anways, Amanda (being the glorious friend that she is) took a lot of the pressure off for me to find this one specific page in the mass of tiny paper thing pages in my brand new $7.99 pink Bible. Not that it even mattered. I'm doing this study with some pretty awesome girls...super excited to get to know yall more!!!!

Last week Hunter was in Arizona with my parents visiting my Dad's family so when Amanda called to invite us to come swim with her and Jackson it ended up being just us girls. Since then, Cierra had become obsessed with Jackson. That was until Pastor Chris stopped by to say Hi on Monday. Ever since then it's all about Chris. I think CC just decides that whoever she saw last is her new best friend....weather it be a stunning two year old or our pastor. Gotta love it.

Speaking of Pastor Chris...Ryland is getting baptised on Sunday. We're Lutherans...we do the infant thing. Sophia is her God-Mother and I'm so excited for that. I LOVE my God-Mother (who I call Aunt Theresa) and I always have, so I'm excited that Ry and Fia will get to have that special bond. Fia is Trevor's (my brother) girlfriend but she's also my friend and she's an amazing person. I love you sister and I'm so excited that you're going to be that special someone for my baby girl!

This post is taking nine and a half years to post because I have to get up every two seconds to stick Ryland's special yellow paci back in her mouth. It's not just that she loves her a good pacifier...it's this one specific yellow pacifier that they gave her at the hospital. We've bought other ones JUST like it and somehow she knows the difference. If anything ever happens to this paci (and it will, that's life) we're all in for it. So the question is, "Ryland, my dear, if you love this yellow paci so much, why do you keep spitting it out? Do you just want me to get off the computer and come hold you? You do? ok..."

Also...lastly...Kevin comes home on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It'll be seven weeks since we've seen him. That is a ridiculously long amount of time. I'm probably going to do one of those scream and run to hug things at the airport...you know, you've seen it on movies. Yes, I'll be THAT woman...but it's all good. Then the following Wednesday, so a week from today, the girls and I are packing our bags for God's Country. We'll spend the month of July in MT with our favorite man. I'm so looking forward to it. He's been commuting since January so I'm super excited to see where he's been living. Maybe it'll snow and I'll get to make a fun post! You laugh now, but it snowed last week!!!!!

Alright...so that was long, tedious, and there were no pictures! My apologies :)

Goodnight blogging world!

belated graduation announcement

2008-06-16T21:35:00.004-06:00

I still haven't found my cord to upload the pics on my camera...I think that's a PERFECTLY good reason for Kevin to buy me this:

Kevin doesn't agree so much. I'll be working on that.

BUUUTTT...I did get some pictures of Big H's Big Day...so I thought I'd do a little belated graduation day recap for yall!

My boy in his cap & gown (gown pronounced gow-an), feel free to shed a tear...Lord knows I did! They had all the kids walk in to the standard graduation song and all the parents stood and cheered for everyone, it was so cute. Those kids were so proud of themselves too, Hunt took it VERY seriously.

Here Hunt's either singing "I believe I can fly" or "Wind beneath my wings"...apparently the goal was to make me sob...or he was reciting one of his pledges, (as in pledge of allegiance, pledge to the christian flag and pledge to the Bible)...again, the goal was for Mom to cry like a baby. I mean, I know this was just a Pre-K graduation, but it means my baby is starting elementary school! And he can memorize things!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, I'm being dramatic...he can also read)

Cutest boy ever:

Singing "A-Tootie-Ta" or however you'd spell it...but it was C-U-T-E!!!!!!!!

That boy sang his hat crooked:

Hunter getting his diploma from his teacher, Ms. Maria. She is a saint yall. I wish I could take her with me and have her be his teacher forever. Hunter left Pre-K being able to read...and read WELL, he can write all sorts of words, he loves math, he has scripture memorized, he has a love for learning and a love of God. He tells me all the time about stories from the Bible. Him and Cierra pray before they eat, and without us initiating it! This was the greatest school and the thought they put into the graduation ceremony meant so much to all the parents. If anyone reading this needs a good preschool in NW Houston, let me know...my kids have been to several "daycares" and this place blows all others out of the water!!!!!

Hatfields vs McCoys

2008-06-14T06:46:00.002-06:00

Apparently my wood laminate floors and Cierra's Mug Rootbeer do not get along well. Since this household is home to a real life cowboy:

I'll make an analogy that is fitting for us all...my floors:Mug Rootbeer, Hatfields:McCoys

Earlier today CC dropped a cup of Mug Rootbeer on the floor that has created a stickiness impervious to a Swiffer Wet Jet, a plain ol Swiffer Sweeper with wet cloths, Clorox Disinfecting Kitchen Cleaner, Pledge Multi Surface Cleaner, Oxy Carpet & Upholstery Cleaner, an off brand toilet cleaner and plain ol elbow grease. Now, I understand that three out of the seven attempted cleaning products are not intended for floor usage but I've become desperate.

I can promise you there is not a germ to be found in front of my couch...but the stickiness remains. How is this so?

Too old for Mom? ALREADY?!?!?!

2008-06-13T22:00:00.002-06:00

This will not be a long post...my kids are asleep and I'm tired so I'm soon to follow, but I just had to share something. I've been on the phone with Kevin (as usual) and Ryland was laying on the couch in between where Cierra and I were sitting...she was all happy, "talking", smiling, etc so when I got off the phone I decided to pick her up...well all of a sudden she's fussy.

I tried feeding her.

Tried the trusty yellow "paci".

I did the walk & bounce thing she likes.

Changed her diaper.

Nothing is working and it's been over 30 minutes so something must be terribly wrong....right?

Well I'm getting a little tired so I layed her back down on the couch to get a drink of water....wait a minute, it's quiet. I go check and she's smiling again. Surely this can't be right. Did my child really just want to be left alone to lay on the couch?

She's not even two months old yet. This is so not cool.

Summer Make Over

2008-06-12T08:38:00.004-06:00

Yep...Mama's trying to get a little bloggy makeover from Pink Armchair Designs, go check her out...you probably need one too (I mean that waaaaaaaaaaaaay nicer than I sounded....it's still kinda early, I've had no coffee...you can't hold me accountable for anything I say yet). Go check out her blog, sign up for the contest and tell her I sent ya....Sabrina sent me, I love Sabrina. I hope she wins (see, I CAN be nice early in the am...not that 9:40 is early, but whatever...apparently lack of caffeine makes me ramble too).

Alright, so check it out!!!!!!!!!!

I almost forgot!

2008-06-10T22:21:00.002-06:00

I forgot to tell yall (I say "yall", I have not a clue who reads this) that is was SNOWING in Montana today. Ya, snow...in June. My man is living in a weird state...and I don't mean his state of mind, although that may be questionable as well (I kid, love you Kev)...I mean he's living in a weird state, Montana. Someone should tell Montana that it's not supposed to snow in the Summer. Maybe I'll write a letter.

In case you haven't been able to tell...

2008-06-10T15:02:00.003-06:00

I'm really a fan of talking about myself, but that's what blogs are for right? I got this from Heather, so here we go:

1. Favorite person in the world: You know I can't pick just one,

H to the P to the S

The Diva

and Baby Sister

2. Favorite Food: Mexi of course...beef fajitas, chips and salsa, chips and queso, etc

3. Quirks about you (you being me, that probably went without saying...moving on): There are many, but how about I don't embarrass myself and I'll pick just one: I have a walking soundtrack in my head, everything I do I think about what song should be playing at the moment...and every song I hear I relate to a situation (past or present), it's messing with my reality because on more than one occasion Kevin has heard, "why can't you think about me like those lyrics in that one song (insert song lyrics here)?" to which he replies "how many times do I have to tell you that, A. I'm not a song writer and B. I can't even understand what they're saying in (insert song lyrics I was previously complaining about)" He has a point there. I also make up dance routines in my head to pop and hip hop songs...which is hilarious since I could never actually DO the dances I makes up.

This guy, Marc Broussard, writes the song lyrics that I complain about most often:

4. Any regrets in life: psh, how much time do you have? Don't get me wrong, that whole "everything happens for a reason" ideal is what gets me by in life, along with all that mumbo jumbo about "everything in my past got me to who I am today, and I love my life" etc, but that doesn't stop me from having regrets. I fully believe that I could be who I am and where I am without having made certain decisions. The person I was prior to meeting Kevin is NOT someone I'm proud of. I've forgiven myself because I know I've been forgiven, but I still regret a lot of hurt I caused other people...and myself. And also my tattoos, I don't like any of them anymore...which causes a dilemma being that they're kind of permenent and all.

5. Favorite blog recently: All of the ones I have on my daily read list, along with The Pioneer Woman and The Nesting Place...and I have no clue why I haven't put them on my daily read list yet.

6. Worst job you've ever had: hands down, TCM Forklifts...I worked there for a matter of weeks and it was B to the A to the D. They had no internet (and this was only a year ago I worked there) and were so stingy on supplies that in order to get a new pen from the supply Nazi you had to go prove to her that your current pen was out of ink...and that' just the tip of the ice burg. Not to mention, the work I did was so ridiculously simple that my day was finished about 20 minutes after I go there...no lie, and without having the world wide web there was nothing to do the rest of the day. I'm surprise I lasted as long as I did (and like I said, I didn't last long).

7. What job would you pay NOT to have: the aforementioned job at TCM.

8. Favorite Bible verse right now: um, I just bought a Bible yesterday so I'm not exactly at the favorite verse part yet. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in church but only recently has it really MEANT something to me...so ask me again in a few weeks and I'm sure I'll have some favorites!

9. Got any confessions: I just ate some left over quesadilla that belonged to Cierra, that is SOOOO not on my eating healthy plan. I also bite my cuticles, it's awful...I wish I knew how to quit you, cuticles. I can also spend too much money at the grocery store because I love to cook and I justify it because you can't get in trouble for buying groceries....right???

10. If you HAD to spend $1000 on yourself, how would you spend it: right now it would be on a personal trainer. Typically it would be on clothes but I refuse to buy clothes until I can buy them in my pre-Ryland size (or smaller).

11. Favorite thing about your house: sigh, without going into the drama I did last time, I'll say...the floors that Kevin put in. I love the look of dark wood floors next to white base boards and tan walls.

12. One thing you're bad at: saving money, self control of any sort, spelling, putting mascara on without getting it on my eyelids, finishing laundry...oh I'm sorry, did you say ONE?

13. One thing you're good at: talking. I can (and do) talk to anyone about anything at anytime...oh and to add one thing to the question above...I'm also bad at knowing when to stop talking.

14. If you could change something about your circumstances, what would it be: that's an easy one, I would live in the same city as Kevin and Hunter at the same time.

15. Who would you like to meet someday: The Pioneer Woman, but she'd probably get a restraining order...there's a borderline obsession there.

16. Who is your real life hero: as cliche as it sounds, my Mommy. She's lived a HARD life and been faced with one unimaginable obstacle after another but instead of being jaded she's the one who motivates me to stay positive and keep looking forward.

17. When are you most relaxed: when I'm at my Mom's

18. What stresses you out: the days before Kevin comes home. I want the house to be immaculate, the kids to be happy (and not fight...hahahaha), the food to be perfect, me to be a size two, etc...I want his trips home to be so perfect that he can't stand to leave again.

19. Why do you blog: I needed a good place to talk about myself

20. There should be a 2oth question...gotta keep it even, ummmm: Why do they have all those latex gloves in your hospital room after you give birth: so your brother can entertain your kids.

afternoon update

2008-06-09T14:48:00.002-06:00

I'm standing at my bar area (where my lap top lives) doing a standing ab workout and having e-mail conversations with two friends of mine...Ryland is in her swing, she doesn't want to be, but she's being a trooper...Cierra is in the kitchen and I just paused to actually WATCH what she's doing. I am so mad I'm not quick enough or I'd have caught this on video for yall, but she's created herself a little solo mosh pit. She stands next to the oven then runs sideways to bang herself off the cabinets...like a little cabinet pin ball. And she's CRACKING herself up. There are tears in her eyes she's laughing so hard. She's LITERALLY bouncing off the walls. I guess that's my sign to get off the computer and entertain my three year old...sorry John & Amanda, we'll have to talk later. HAHAHA

DANGER!!!!!!

2008-06-09T08:41:00.003-06:00

I'm in danger of losing my Blogger of the Year Award! I won't even tell you where I stand on my Most Spotless House Award, I'm afraid I was stripped of that honor months ago!!! I'm not one to make excuses (this is massive sarcasm by the way, excuses are the peanut butter to my jelly) but my lack of posts can be attributed to the following:

1. I've lost the cord to upload pics from my camera...and as we all know, posts are better with pictures.
2. Hunter
3. Cierra
4. Ryland
5. Vh1's Bachelor marathon

So what have I been doing with all of my time? Well a typical day starts with me pleading with Cierra to let me sleep longer...Ryland sleeps until 10 or so, CC gets up by 7:30. And CC wants to eat cereal directly upon rising so my alarm clock has been replaced with, "Mommy...Mommy...MOMMY, I want cewea...do you want to play babies? MOMMY get up! Mommy I play with baby sister?" That last one gets me out of bed.

Then we head downstairs where CC eats her weight in cereal, or sometimes oatmeal and Ryland continues to sleep on the couch or in her swing. I drink a Spark (Advocare...Sabrina sells it) wish it was a grande skinny cinnamon dolce latte with an extra shot and two sweet n lows, eat some oatmeal or eggo nutirgrain low fat whole wheat waffles with spray butter and some strawberries. Tidy the kitchen and living room. Break up about 15 fights between Hunter and Cierra, one of which is guaranteed to be, "Moooooooooooooom, Cierra won't let Ryland look at me...she's hogging all of Ryland's look space".

By now Ryland's starting to stir so I get some bottles ready and hope she can stay asleep for 45 minutes so I can do my walking video, it's not working. My formerly athletic body is laughing at the idea that I'll lose 30-40 lbs "walking 3 fast miles". My stubborn body fat prefers to be burned away via Spin and other insane amounts of cardio and weights. I ponder this fact whilst watching Regis & Kelley. Ryland wakes up. By now the big kids are literally coming out of their skin...I honestly think they will melt if I don't give them something fun to do. They go in the back yard and play cowboys.

The rest of my day is filled with breaking up more fights, watching the kids play in the blow up whale pool, trying to clean the house, starting but never finishing laundry, cooking my kids fun food while I eat low calorie low fat low carb healthy stuff, running errands, turning the music up and dancing with my big kids, playing football with Hunt and babies with Cierra, holding Ryland and making her smile, wearing my i-pod and attempting to workout but really just pretending I'm dancing in a video with Justin Timberlake, work on fixing my broken scale that is still showing the wrong weight for me (surely it's the scale right?)...etc etc etc.

Now, in case you didn't notice...showering, hair and make-up were not mentioned. Such is the life of a single-ish stay at home Mom of three. When Kevin's home I'm going to have to awake at dawn as to look like a decent person and still get everything done.

Point being, that is why I've neglected to update my blog. I hope you all have managed to continue to put one foot in front of the other every day without my posts....but I'm going to find the time to update more often, hopefully that'll win you all over so you can write letters of recommendation for me to win my Blooger of the Year Award back :)

Never say never...

2008-05-31T20:57:00.003-06:00

So my new bloggy friend Heather made a post about 20 things she's pretty sure she'll never do, and I decided I'd do the same...but I couldn't really think of 20 things I'd never do, well nothing original at least. So instead, here is a list of 10 things (because 20 is a long list and I'm tired) I never thought I'd do (or could do) and have done:

1. In honor of her number one, I'll trump Heather's "I'll never eat sushi" and say...I never thought I'd eat sushi, but then I tried it...and I LOVE it.

2. I went sky diving, not once, but twice...and again, I LOVE it.

3. I never thought I could love a step child like my own...until I met Cierra, and sisters...that child is mine in every way that matters.

4. I never thought I'd look forward to anything that comes on the Disney channel, until I saw Choo Choo Soul. There's this one where she sings, "if I was a car, I'd be a race car...if I was a plane, I'd be a jet plane...and if I was a truck, I'd be a monster truck...and if I was a train, I'd be a bullet train..." or something like that. Hunter and I are on the edge of our seats every morning hoping they'll re-play it. And oh happy day! When I went to post the link I saw that you can watch the video for each song. I must admit I'm singing along to, "bullet train, bullet train..woo woo (so fast)". Look it up :)

5. I never thought I'd like another video from Choo Choo Soul more that Bullet Train, until I just looked up, "Do your own dance". Man, that Genevieve is on to something, "everybody, everybody mmmm yeaaaa"

6. I never NEVER never thought I'd drive a mini-van...and now I'm begging Kevin to buy me one. Do you know how hard it is to fit three car seats in the back seat of ANYthing? Let alone something that gets more than 12 miles to a gallon? I can say that I'll never wear pleated pants though, I may be a Mom of three...and Lord willing I'll pull up to soccer practice in a mini van, but I'll NEVER sport pleated pants and seasonal sweater vests.

7. I never thought I'd be able to do the whole long distance relationship thing...until my dream guy found out that his dream job just so happened to be in Montana.

8. I never thought I'd have a problem with my weight or my body image...until I went to college and replaced hours of volleyball and running with hours beer and Freebirds. Yea, THEN I went ahead and had babies.

9. I never thought I'd really be able to quit smoking (this has been a habit since high school)...until I tried a cigarette after having Ryland. It was BAD. Didn't like it one bit, thank you very much! That is one nasty stinky habit I'm not going to miss.

10. I never thought I'd really be a "real" christian. I always thought that meant you had to be uptight and you weren't allowed to have any fun...until I developed a REAL relationship with God and anything I thought was fun about my life before pales in comparison to the peace that comes with knowing your life is in the hands of someone who knows your true heart.

And now my baby is stirring and about to wake up for her 11:00 feeding...good night :)

what I'm trying to say is...

2008-05-29T20:42:00.005-06:00

I have written, edited, deleted, re-written, erased, started over, given up and began again on this blog about 15 times tonight...and what I'm trying to say is, THANK YOU.

I don't know who all reads this, but the comments I've received on all of the posts I've made since reviving this blog a few months ago are just beyond amazing to me.

I already know I have this phenomenal group of friends from high school (some from jr. high even) that are always there with a kind word of support when I need it...and these last few months have been no different. We send updates every once in a while as soon as I started filling everyone in on Montana and the custody DRAMA that has followed it my in-box has been blowin up...I ask for a prayer and not only do I get that, but I get phone calls, texts, e-mails galore from my dear friends reminding me they have my back. I get advise and support beyond measure. They are the kind of friends everyone should be so lucky to have. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through these last few months with my sanity intact without them! Well, without YALL I should say...I know some / most of yall will read this. Ya better :)

Besides that group of sisters, I have an equally amazing group of "newer" friends who are there for me all the same...today CeCe texted me to bring the kids over so her and Chris could watch them and let me veg. This is the same CeCe who showered us with love just last week...she's good people! And I have my Fia, I am so glad she loves my brother...it's keeping her in my world and I think I'd be pretty lost without her! I have a plethora of friends named Erin an awesome friend, Brandy, from Louisiana who is looking for a good coon-a$$ from the swamps to handle up on my "situation" if you know what I mean...wink wink.

I have my blog world friends who are absolute God-sends...they are proof that He puts the right people in your path when you need them. Just go read the comments that are left for me from people I've never met. We all know it's no coincidence...He knows when I need a kind word from a stranger, and there it is...Keri, Meg, Linda, Heather, Boo, etc...all of yall, people who only know me through my words are praying for me and my family...laughing and crying with me. Come on now!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my Mom. Moment of silence for my Mom. A woman who has unimaginable struggles of her own to deal with still puts her adult children first. I guess I always thought that at some point my parents would get a break from the crazyness that has been my life, but here I am...27 (and a half) with three kids and over at their house everyday, my crew tearing up their back yard and all they do is smile and say, "here, let me hold the baby so you can eat". Just tonight my Mom came and took us for Mexi food, bathed my big kids, helped rock Ryland during a colicky period and sat and listened to me ramble on and vent about the decisions I still have to make...and I know that if I'm dead on my feet tired at 2:00 am she'd be here in a heart beat to stay up with Ry and let me sleep. I know she'd do this because she's did it two weeks ago!!!

Oh, and my church. Wow, my church. We're a small congregation...we worship in an elementary school "cafatorium" (new word to me...half cafeteria, half auditorium) and most of us came over from another church when Pastor Chris began Celebration. This church has literally changed my life. Over the last 10 or so months I've developed a REAL relationship with Christ and without a doubt, Chris was the one who led me there. His sermons speak to me in a way only Beth had been able to before. And it's not just what he preaches about, but it's the person he is. He's legit and it makes what he has to say MEAN so much more. Everyone who worships there is as equally amazing. Every type of person (and guide dog) is accepted at Celebration...and everyone really walks the walk. On any given Sunday I'll literally speak to every person there. And that's not because there are only 10-20 of us, (there are many more than that) it's because we're a family there...a family of former strangers coming together to praise an amazing God. I have gotten so much support from everyone at my church, it's just how I've always thought a church experience should be for me. I love it.

I love all of yall. I'm so thankful. For a day that started out so tough I just needed to end it on a positive note. For everyone who's' reading this...THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. All of the prayers you've bestowed upon this family are being felt...and I truly thank you.

Love,
E

My house

2008-05-29T12:55:00.002-06:00

On Kelley's blog (one of my daily reads) she posted about her favorite room in her house and invited her readers to do the same. I had decided I wanted to partake in the blog-a-thon and went walking around trying to decide which room was my favorite and then develop a quick clean strategy so that I could post pictures without embarrassing myself...but I just couldn't decide which room to write about! Then and I realized my camera is at my Mom's house, which is a good thing because if I can't post pictures there's really no need for me to pretend to clean today!

I decided I don't have a favorite room at this house. I have favorite parts to certain rooms, but nothing that motivated me to post a blog. This kind of had me worried because it doesn't take much to motivate me to ramble on and on about myself or things in my world. Being slightly obsessive in nature, (when Kevin reads this he'll say to himself, "SLIGHTLY?!?!?!") I began to make a mental list of why I wasn't bursting at the seams to blog about my house...when it hit me. This house was always temporary in my mind (I always knew we'd out grow it and move eventually) and I never really took the time to make it the perfect home I'd be proud to blog about. In hindsight I wish I would have.

For the year prior to Kevin's move to Montana this was a house that had everything I've ever dreamed of. It had my son - my first born - the love of my life, a daughter I was blessed to inherit around age two that I've always loved like my own and the man of my dreams, the guy who always felt like the light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel. Physically this house has never had the things I'd imagine being in my dream home, no granite counter tops, high end appliances or neat architectural features...it's decorated with a hodge podge of remnants from mine and Kevin's past, there's no real "style" to it...but there are signs every where of our life together and that's what makes me happy here, it's also what breaks my heart about being home these days.

Kevin put our laminate floors in himself, there's the toy box / ottoman we built together right after we started dating, the paint on the walls of the powder bathroom is a dark red that covers our attempt at stripes, on the stairs there are framed pictures of Hunter and Cierra playing in my Mom's back yard, the garage is full of the remnants of the coffee shop we opened together. From where I'm typing at the table I can see the Cone vacuum Kevin was so excited to buy. A three year old, curly haired, female version of Kevin just came running down the stairs from her nap. A one moth old baby we made together is asleep in her swing. Every where you look there are reminders of the times we lived here together, as a family, and lately it's just too much to bear.

I hate feeling like I wish I would have done things differently, it's such a waste of time because you can't re-live the past, but I do...I wish I would have done things differently. I wish I would have worried less about what this house didn't have and concentrated more on what it DID have. It had my family. A family I've waited my whole life for. I wish I would have treated this house like the most magnificent place I've ever lived, because it was... This house deserved to be clean and tidy and treated like a castle, it should have heard less frustration, less yelling and more laughter. If I would have known that I was on borrowed time to be living here with all of us I would have worried a lot less about the little things. Who cares that I couldn't get it decorated perfectly, why did I even care about that? I wanted this house to LOOK perfect and I couldn't feel attached to it until it did. But all along this house WAS perfect because it was OUR house.

I would give anything right now to have Kevin walk in the door from work. I would trade the new kitchen table I got for him to be able to see Ryland smiling at her brother and sister in a heart beat. I would give up the new paint the walls for him to hear CC singing "what Momma doin? workin on the puter, workin on the puter..." For all the nights I was frustrated at the amount of time Kevin spent in the garage...at least he was HERE in the garage. Hunter still had someone to play football with in the evenings, and Kevin still got to see his kids every day. Instead he sleeps on a futon 2,000 miles away and we make plans to see eachother for a weekend once a month (if we're lucky). I hate that I was always complaining that this house was too small for all five of us, because right now we seem to fit...and I don't want to fit. I want Kevin to be here and the house to feel too small again.

So all rambling aside, I still can't pick a favorite room in my house. I'm sure in a few minutes I'll feel like a baby for being so weepy and dramatic about all of this. I'll get my camera from my Mom's tonight, walk around the house and take pictures of happy things to write about. I'll get back on here and talk about all of the positives and turn into the glass half full person again....but since I started this blog as an honest and realistic look into my life, I'm keeping it real at the moment. And at the moment I just really miss Kevin, I'm nostalgic about the days when we all lived here, I'm feeling guilty for all the times I thought this house wasn't good enough. This house was PERFECT when we were all here together, it was our HOME then. Now it's just a house.

Random...it's how I roll

2008-05-26T15:21:00.004-06:00

Awesome photo of my Ryland naked is compliments of Sophia's new camera. We love Sophia's new camera.

So much to post...thoughts won't come together properly...perhaps a list?

1. This morning we ("we" meaning my parents, my seeds and myself) all went to a memorial at the Veterans cemetery in town...it was beautiful, the cemetery itself and the memorial. It was hotter than love and thankfully they decided to start the program at 9:30 am but regardless, I need to remember that Houston summers are entirely too hot for a one month old. **side note, Ryland is already a month old...where does the time go?** There were so many people there...and such a variety of people too. We stood near a young-ish (my age) Dad and his toddler son. The Dad was in work clothes and in my head he hurried from work to take his son to the memorial and teach him all about the fallen heroes...and since there was no Mom with them, she was fighting over seas...I have an active imagination. Anyways...the kind of people who stand in the heat to pay tribute to soldiers known and unknown are the kind of people you don't mind being in a crowd with. And by "kind" I don't mean the way they look...I mean the KIND of people they are. Friendly, patriotic, respectful, more than likely Christian...we had one lady offer Claudius some water, another lady gave my kids orange slices, yet another lady gave them little American flags to wave. There were tons of boy scouts...one came to my Dad and asked to pet the Claudster, he was HILARIOUS this kid. Cracked us up, a future Jimmy Kimmel. We parked illegally and didn't get tickets, it was a nice morning.

2. Pastor Chris' sermon on Sunday was about worry...and how we should not let it control our lives. The sermon itself was AMAZING (as his always are) but the timing was even better. Tomorrow morning is our court date. Prayers around the 9:00 am hour would be most appreciated. I'm praying for an open-minded and fair judge and also for my sanity, I've been holding it together really well and I feel like I'll be ok, but knowing me I can lose it in an instant :) During the kids time (we're back to church on Sunday) Big Mike gave the kids a small container of bubbles and told them that when they had a worry they should blow a bubble, watch it float away, and give it to God. So last night when the panic set in I just kept telling myself "bubbles...bubbles" so that'll be my new mantra. I hope my lawyer doesn't think I'm a basket case!

3. I found this post from Kelley's blog...tomorrow night I know just what pitcher I'm breaking!

4. Last week my amazing friend CeCe came over. Not only did she provide me with some much needed adult conversation but she brought a delicious dinner, another dinner for us to eat the next night, two desserts, gifts for the big kids (new crayons and color books, mini doodle-pros, play dough and card games...my kids are still smiling!), the cutest monogrammed onsie for Ryland and the most heartfelt gift for me too...I got a great card and a bath set from Philosophy. Click on the link and see if you can read what it says on the containers...how perfect is that? CeCe is one in a million. And for the record, trying to explain that CeCe has the same name as my CC to Cierra (my CC) is extremely difficult...in a three year old's world no one has your name.

5. Um, ok maybe I didn't have THAT much to post about. But a list made it easier for me. I have so many pictures I need to show yall. Hunt's graduation and some cute ones of the girls too. All in due time my friends...all in due time. Doesn't that make me sound aloof? Really it's just when I get around to it.

p.s. my intentions on losing all baby weight within a month isn't working out so well...any evil geniuses out there who know how I can lose 30 lbs in a month...hit a sister up with a comment.

Update!

2008-05-19T13:23:00.002-06:00

I am quite proud of the progress I've made today! Two loads of laundry are done and folded (not put away...baby steps), which is huge for me because I loathe laundry and it tends to live in the dryer until I need to dry a new load. Did a quick clean of all three bathrooms, took big H for some playtime at McDonalds, really cleaned the kitchen and swept the floors...oh and I did some exercising too. It's not HUGE progress, but it's significantly more than I'm used to accomplishing by 2:30 in the afternoon.

The sweeping took forever yall. I'm determined to make Ryland like the sling Jenny got me so I'll put her in it at home and just walk around trying to help her fall in love...then I got the bright idea to sweep with her in it. SOOOOO not the way for a not-so-savy sweeper to get her baby used to a sling. But it's done.

And I'm just now posting this at 4:30 because she nursed forEVER then we went to Target to get some batteries where she decided to have another blowout. My daughter likes to reserve her bowl movements for public places. Sigh.

I'm about to get working on whatever I'm making for dinner too...and by dinner I mean the dinner I'll make at my parents house. It's not because I'm a baby about being alone, it's because they need to see their grandkids....promise :)

On my to-do list for tomorrow:

1. organize the kid's rooms (again...they like to un-do my work)
2. go through my closet...pack up maternity clothes and get a pile of donate clothes ready

um, ya...that should take up enough time!

And now she eats her words

2008-05-19T08:36:00.005-06:00

I can't even begin to tell yall how many times I've said (both to myself, Kevin, and anyone else who would listen) that I would be THE BEST stay at home Mom. The house would be spotless, the meals would be healthy gourmet creative and organic, the kids would be fulfilled and I would be a hottie. I mean when you have all day to cook, clean and work out how could you not be the perfect trophy wife?

Well by the grace of Stryker it seems that stay-at-home-mom-edness is my reality...and now she eats her words. In the three and a half weeks that I've been off of work and home all day with Ryland I have successfully accomplished nothing. I still haven't sent out the rest of my thank you notes from my baby showers. There is clean laundry in the dryer to be folded. The floors are an abomination. There are little piles everywhere...oh and have I mentioned that my house is on the market and we really need someone to buy it? That is asking a lot of potential buyers...to look past all the clutter and dust to see the gem of a house that is lying underneath. At church on Sunday a sweet little girl asked me if I was pregnant, so I guess that means I'm not a hottie yet. Oh, and I've eaten every meal at my Mom's house.

So where is all this "time" I'm supposed to have? Where is all this "energy"? I decided that today is the day to kick it in gear! I'm taking baby steps in getting used to having all three of my seeds with me 24-7...Hunter's home with me now but CC will still go to day care this week. Bless her heart, she's the most fun kid ever but can you say high maintenance? So after we dropped C at school I dangled the carrot in front of Hunt's face, "Hey buddy, if you help Mommy clean the house this morning we'll get Happy Meals for lunch!" To which my future business mogul replied, "Sure Mom, but I'll also need some money because I'm only five and cleaning the house is a big deal."

It's been an hour and fifteen minutes since we got back home, we've done the dishes and I've wiped down the kitchen counters. That's it.

I have a lot to learn about schedules. I've decided that's my down fall. Ryland is asleep in her swing which is giving me a precious opportunity to do pretty much any of the million things that need to get done...so what do I do? I blog. Lord help me. Anywho, back to the schedule. If I could get Ry on some sort of sleeping / eating pattern then I THINK I could schedule cleaning / cooking / self improvement time around her...right? That's how it's done right? Hunt and CC kind of cancel each other out when they're both here. They spend the majority of their time harassing each other and the rest of the time is spent whining to me about what the other one is doing...plus I can thrown them in the back yard with a hose and a bucket and they're set for hours. Oh how I've taken big kids for granted.

In four minutes it'll be 10:00 and I'm peeling myself away from the world wide web in attempts to clean my house and lose 30 pounds. No problem right?????? And she wakes up...

Whipping Cream for Breast Milk

2008-05-14T21:27:00.002-06:00

I'm in an odd place today. I should be a basket case, I feel I have every right to be. I'm three weeks post partum raising three kids with my better half 2000 miles away, my baby has become intermittently colicky, I'm having breast feeding issues and I am in the early stages of what I fear will be a nasty custody battle with my ex-husband...and I admit, I'm sitting at my computer with tears stinging my eyes...but I'm not sad. I'm not stressed, I'm not exhausted...I feel blessed and content. How can this be?????

This morning I took Ryland to see the pedi (the real pedi...my hospital wrote down the name of a different pedi so my "real" guy hasn't seen Ry yet) to go over her sleeping / eating / pooing issues. As in she doesn't sleep, barely eats and it takes her two hours and several shades of red face to make a poo. Well to my amazement she slept pretty good last night, nursed well this morning, and Sabrina's recommendation of Dr. Brown's bottles with Gentlease formula and Gripe Water seemed to work wonders...and in the waiting room she easily made a poo. Granted it stunk and I was embarrassed, but I didn't' fear her eyes were about to pop out of her head...so it was a good thing. THEN the world's nicest nurse comes in and tells me her poo looked great and her weight gain was phenomenal (9 lbs). I was shocked! I told her I thought she wasn't getting enough Mommy juice and she said, "well then you must have whipping cream for breast milk"...after I had the best laugh I'd had in the last 3 months I wiped the tears from my eyes and just said, thank you. She felt the sincerity because she teared up, hugged me and said, "she's beautiful and you're doing great". Now tell me this nurse wasn't placed in my path today for a reason?!?!?! After a great check up with my wonderful "real" pedi that same nurse came back in and watched me nurse Ryland and gave me some great pointers...I feel refreshed and hopeful about breast feeding again! Plus I secrete whipping cream. I'm pretty sure that'll land me a show on Food Network.

This afternoon I had a meeting with a new lawyer to go over my legal DRAMA. I know I haven't gotten much into this, and eventually I will...but I'll just say that it was a very positive experience. I'm no longer walking around feeling like I'm on borrowed time with Hunter. I've been asking for prayers and I have FELT every one of them. Three days after I brought Ry home from the hospital I was served with some pretty life altering paperwork, I cried for literally two days straight...then I pleaded with God for more faith. Ever since Kevin got offered a job in Montana I've felt that it'll all work out the way He intends it to, and I still feel that way. This is the first time I've really been able to jut let go and give it to God...and man, it really works!!!!!! I hope the next time I post anything about this "issue" I will feel comfortable to give details and that will be because we have a resolution...I'll be praying hard on that.

So while on paper my current situation sounds a bit hopeless, I'm really doing great...and I had two awesome appointments today to help fuel my optimism. This is coming off a visit from my awesome friend Jenny and her Mom who came by to see me on Monday evening. Jenny & Kathy are the Aunt and Grandma of Coy and some very dear friends of mine...well they're more like family, but you feel me. They are the kind of people who don't ask if they can help, they show up on your door step with dinner, homemade cookies and ready to listen. For some reason having other mothers tell me that they recognize my struggles helps me feel like a stronger woman, so I've been a pretty high note ever since.

I am the owner of a Scion XA, and while it's very fuel efficient (the only reason I drive that car is for the gas mileage) it's freakin TINY. My big kids barely fit in the back seat so adding a third car seat was not an option. Since we weren't blessed to win the Mega Millions prior to Ryland's arrival our car situation has been just one more thing working against us...so my parents were kind enough to let me borrow their SUV and my Mom's been driving the Scion. I have this theory that if you're borrowing someone's car you don't jack with their radio programming. That being said, My Mom listens to KSBJ...a station that has never been programed into any car I've owned. My thoughts on christian music were that you sang it at church and that was about it. Boy, I've been missin out a bit yall! For starters, all the songs we sing at church are on that station!!!!! Not to mention there is something to be said for turning on your car and being reminded that you're not alone. That was just a bit of randomness I thought I'd throw in for ya...it wouldn't be an Erin post if I didn't include some unnecessary rambling.

Tonight we went to my Mom's...nothing news worthy there, we spend 90% of our time with Kevin gone at my parent's house...but I actually got a nap in! Ever since Ry stopped sleeping my Mom has told me to come over and nap but I hadn't been able to until tonight. She nursed so good then fell into a food coma on my shoulder. A baby sleeping on you is better than any Tylenol PM so moments later I was out like a light! Thank you Jesus for my parents living three minutes away and being the kind of grandparents who love to play with their high maintenance grandkids so their delirious daughter can rest!!!!!!!

So the combination of kind words from a patient nurse, a lawyer who breaks the stereotype, a visit from a good friend, involved parents, a persistent God and the discovery of a new radio station have left me feeling oddly content tonight. I'm watching Ry sleep in the impulse buy swing I acquired last night. Hunter just came downstairs to tell me that since there is no medicine for his "eating problem" he would just take some raisins. Cierra took a nap in her room today at pre-school (instead of the director's office where she usually ends up during nap time because she tries to keep her friends awake) which is something that hasn't happened for 13 days in a row. How can I not feel blessed? Three healthy and happy kids to call me Mommy and whipping cream for breast milk, the rest will work itself out!

a sleep deprived ramble...complete with pictures

2008-05-12T09:02:00.008-06:00

Today I mean business!!! I've decided that all the weight that's going to come off on it's own has already come off (25 lbs) so the rest (30 lbs) is up to me, and boy does that stink! My plan to breast feed the pounds away was cut short when my left milk machine stopped producing and my right one doesn't produce enough to satisfy my child (and this after I endured a week of bleeding nipples)...I just looked on dummies.com and it seems as though you need to consume a certain amount of calories to produce enough milk...um, my bad. I've had NO apetite since giving birth, which is so unlike me, but literally the thought of food makes my stomach turn. Perhaps I need to eat more and then I can get back to the business of making milk!

Speaking of my nursing troubles...aparently my infant child doesn't like to be bragged on. Ever since I posted about her sleeping so good at night, she's decided to go ahead and stop. I'm afraid I have another Strong Willed Child on my hands here. Saturday night she didn't sleep a wink (thankfully we were having a sleep over at my Mom's so she was there so help a sister out) and she wasn't just awake, she was FUSSY. Her little tummy was upset, so sad. Then last night she was up from 2-6am, not fussy...just awake. But as soon as she did fal asleep at six she threw up all over her bassinet. Kev and I decided her little tummy doesn't like all the formula so I'm going to have a heart to heart with my mamory glands and we're going to find a way to compromise and get Ryland full from Cafe Mommy.

What's the word on off brand formula? Walgreens has their version of Infamil Lipil two of the BIG cans for $20...that's way less than half the cost of the brand name stuff. What's the catch there? I never used generic formula with the Hunt (and I didn't nurse him at all) so I'm in the dark here...but that seems too good to be true.

Why is it that now that she's napping I have all this energy? I'm doing laundry, blogging, making my lawyer appointments, just did some floor exercises (not in the gymnastics sense)...and I should be sleeping! I slept a matter of minutes last night...why the adrenaline rush at such inoportune times?

Did yall watch the Survivor finale last night? I totally forgot about it until 8:00 so I saw the end but I missed all the drama of the 7:00 hour...shame on me.

Just watched Jason Castro preform my second favorite song of all times on Regis & Kelly, Over the Rainbow by IZ...I think he has a shot with all of my friends in the Jack Johnson / Colbie Calait world...I can dig it, he has that California surfer vibe going on...I'll be a fan.

I have no idea why I watch The View...it just gets me so riled up. I don't agre with 99% of the things they say on this show, and poor Elisabeth...what's the point of the token republican if they don't even let her get a word in edge wise? They're just jealous because she's so cute.

I have a love / hate relationship with Jon & Kate Plus Eight. As most of you probably know, there was a marathon on yesterday so my Mom and I watched some of it and I know that show has a lot of fans in the blogging world, so I hope I don't offend...but she just works my nerves. Maybe it's just the editing, but she NEVER smiles, she's always so serious and they never show her playing with her kids or saying a kind word to her husband. She comes off as so demanding to me. And I hate the intro where she says, "...we tried for one more but were surprised with six". Um, I'm assuming she was implanted with six fertalized eggs, and I don't know that much about infertility treatments, but how can you be "surprised" with six babies when you implanted six fertalized eggs? If you implanted two and six came out, ya...that's a surprise...but you asked for six babies and six babies you got. I'm sorry, I'm just not convinced that nature intended us to have six babies at a time...but then again God allowed for six healthy kids so I guess it's a gray area. And I do watch the show so I suppose I'm being a tad hypocritical...if it bothered me that much I could just not watch, but I do. And clearly I need to go take a nap because I'm sounding very bitter.

This was, hands down, the post pointless post in the history of pointless posts and I don't think I'm even going to spell check...my apologies.

and one more thing

2008-05-10T18:41:00.003-06:00

The other night I had the following conversation with Hunter:

Oh, first I should set the tone...EVERY single night Hunter decides he's starving as I tuck him in to bed. Regardless of what he's had to eat all night, as soon as you put the covers on him, the boy is famished...and it drives me insane. I decided I was going to lay the law down and the bed time snacks were going to be a thing of the past.

Hunter is of the impression that every single thing you tell him is negotiable so he's gotten pretty creative in asking for his snack. He needs an apple because, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away and I think I feel a fever coming on". "I need some cereal in bed because I need my energy in case I do any sleep walking". How can you not give in to these? Obviously, I do...then one night he comes quietly down the stairs at about 10:00 with a very somber look on his face and says the following:

H: "Mom, I've been thinking"
Me: "Yes son"
H: "First of all, I would like to apologize for my behavior"
Me: "Thank you Hunter, I appreciate it"
H: "Second, I think I have an eating problem"
Me: "An eating problem? You don't say..."
H: "Yes, I just can't stop eating!"
Me: "Oh man, what should we do about that?"
H: "I think I would like a banana"
Me: "That's fine son, take a banana, go to bed..."

He's five yall!!!!!!! Ya, I'm in for it.

He had his pre-K graduation today. I cried, we all cried. It was so special and I'll be sure to tell you all about it later...once I have pictures uploaded we'll do a little show & tell :)

Attention...new blogger alert!

2008-05-10T18:31:00.002-06:00

My brother has this girlfriend, she's kind of a big deal. Her name is Sophia but feel free to call her Sofa, the Couch or best of all...FIA. She's much more than my brother's girlfriend, she's also become a very good friend of mine, she's absolutely family and my kids adore her.

Last week was her and Trevor's two year anniversary so he bought her an awesome camera and we've since inherited our very own paparazzo. It's awesome. Today Trevor fell out of the hammock and instead of coming to his aid, she took pictures...and best of all, she's started a blog. Look here.

Her post about my kids should be proof enough of why we adore her. She has one of the kindest souls and we just love her.

Two Weeks!

2008-05-08T20:13:00.005-06:00

10 things I've learned about my darling daughter Ryland in the last two weeks:

1. She has her father's gastrointestinal system...um, she gassy.

2. Her eyes go crossed when she's "making a poo". Just go ahead and visualize that one. My sweet dainty baby girl...with eyes crossed she's working so hard...she will love hearing this story when I meet her boyfriends for the first time.

3. The INSTANT she gets a dirty diaper it better be off her, she hates to have a dirty diaper and she will let you know.

4. My first attempt at a lunch out with her and my Mom (at La Madeline of course) ended abruptly with an explosive diaper that left it's marks on her car seat carrier thing, her clothes, her blanket AND my shirt...such a rookie Mom move.

5. Finally, something not about her bowls: I'm breast feeding but having to supplement with formula due to "inadequate supply" (this is another blog in itself...it's coming, hold your horses) and she is very picky about which one she wants when she's hungry...if she's in the mood for a bottle and I offer her my mammary goodness, she ain't havin it...if she wants food from her Momma and I give her bottle...equally mad. I try to explain to her that beggars can't be choosers but I guess babies are hard to reason with.

6. She is THE best baby at night. She sleeps for long bouts from 8 pm to 7 am waking up to eat once or twice and her feedings only last about 15 min each.

7. She balances her perfection at night by being high maintenance during the day...but in all honesty, it's my fault. I literally couldn't put her down for the first few days she was alive. I was too in love and couldn't bare not being attached to her, I mean we spent every second of the last nine months together, and now that she's here and I can kiss that perfect face you expect me to put her down? Not happenin...so now she just expects to be held 24-7...and you know what? I'm perfectly happy to oblige. Eventually I'm going to have to train her to hang out in the awesome sling Jenny got me, but for now I just say, "she's only this little once"

8. In all 15 days of her life I think I've said Ryland's name about 5 times. I'm so used to calling her "the baby" or "baby sister" (because we hadn't decided on a name prior to her birth) that I haven't gotten into that habit of calling her Ryland yet.

9. There is a HUGE difference in the kind of mother I am now than I was when Hunt was 15 days old. Maybe it's the fact that I'm 5-1/2 years older or maybe it's just because I'm not a first time Mom anymore, but I'm so much more relaxed and it does feel a lot more natural this time...and the fact that I recognize that makes me wish I could start over with H too...I feel like I missed out on his newborn days because I was too worked up about all the wrong things.

10. Having Ryland here in the flesh makes me love her Daddy even more. Looking at her tiny face and seeing Kevin's lips and the shape of his eyes just warms my heart...the man of my dreams and I have created this perfect little being and there is no one in the world I'd rather share this with!

Days away and this is all I give you...

2008-05-05T17:11:00.004-06:00

Yes, I have succumbed to the "inevitable newborn hiatus" that my friend Amanda predicted. I've been riddled with guilt. So whilst Ryland is asleep and my parents are entertaining my "big kids" I will come back to the land of the blogger...I've been tagged by my friend Ann Marie, and being the good law abiding blogger that I am, I will hold up my end of the bargain. Here are the rules:

Link to the person who tagged you
Post the rules on your blog
Write six random things about yourself
Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog
Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Six bits o randomness ala Erin:

1) Kevin and I are having a contest to see who can live off the least amount of money (proportionately...there are 3-1/2 of us in Texas and only one of him in Montana), so in my attempts to save money I decided to start clipping coupons before going grocery shopping. I have NO CLUE where people find all of these alleged coupons! I painstakingly looked through all the junk mail I get every day...but no actual coupons, just ads. I'm so lost. I feel like such a yupie. How do I now know where to get coupons???

2) I have almost no sense of smell and my brother has absolutely no sense of smell. You know how your sense of smell is supposed to tie to your ability to taste? Not the case for the Wright kids. Boy can we taste...but smell? Nope, not at all. My lack of smelling capabilities comes in handy when changing Ryland's explosive diapers, it also makes me a fine catch since Kevin is free to make all of his manly odors and I can't smell any of them.

3) Sometimes when I'm cooking at home, or well actually EVERY time I'm cooking at home, I pretend I'm making a show on Food Network...it's a cross between 30 Minute Meals, Paula's Home Cooking and Semi Homemade...but with much more witty banter and a lot les corny sayings and mis-placed inflection (ala Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee). Granted, I don't know too many people who would watch a cooking show that features the likes of tuna casserole and "clean out the veggie bin soup" but it makes me feel fancy.

4) I started kindergarten a year early. My birthday is in October so I just missed the cut off but I attended private school in Arizona at the time and they (along with my Mom) decided that I was ready to start when I was four, almost five. So that means I was always the youngest person in my grade...I had a lot of friends whose birthdays are also in the fall...but when they were all turning 16 and getting their licences I was turning 15, it also means I started college when I was 17. Sometimes it was kind of fun to be the different one, but BOY was I NOT ready to move away to College Station at age 17...I honestly think 75% of the reason I didn't finish college was beacuse I was far too immature to handle the freedom.

5) I've lost 25 lbs in the last 13 days. Yes, I'm bragging...and granted 7 of those pounds are asleep next to me, but still. How many times in your life can you say you've lost 25 lbs in less than two weeks?

6) I only like the skins of tomatoes, not the runny inside and seeds. So that means I don't like tomatoes on sandwiches of any sort because they come in slices and I don't do slices.

Hey, you asked for random so random's what you got!!!!! I don't think I can come up with six people to tag but I'll try. I tag Amanda, Sabrina, Kelly, Keri, Meg, and Boo Sheep...so go at it!!!!!

Best picture EVER

2008-04-25T14:16:00.003-06:00

This is a picture of my new baby girl, Ryland, holding her big brother's finger...how perfect is that? I'll post more pictures and the full story soon, but I just had to share this in the mean time.

2008-04-22T18:34:00.001-06:00

I just ran across this picture of my babies from Halloween...it was too cute, had to share it.

That is all,
E

prayers yall

2008-04-22T08:08:00.005-06:00

My prayer requests are two fold....first for the exciting one:

Guess who's getting induced tomorrow morning? Guess!!!!! Yep, it's me. My doctor was kind enough to agree to induce...and I didn't even have to bring my kids with me to the appointment. My plan was to let Hunter and Cierra do their thang right there in her waiting room so I could show her what my life was like...I was then going to remind her that Kevin would be here to help me out until May 4th so maybe she would draw her own conclusion that it would be beneficial to have him here with the baby as long as possible. But after she did her little check (and stripped my membranes...yowza) she said she would induce me "if I was ready"...was I ready? YES. So Wednesday morning at 5:30 am it is. She said if we don't get there on time they'll give my bed away...so we'll be there at 5:00, just to be safe :)

How weird is it to know the exact day you're going to have your baby? It seems weird to me. A little un-natural, but I'm all for it. April 23, 2008...that's a good date!

This seems a little familiar...I was scheduled to be induced with Hunter as well. 5:00 on Monday morning, November 18. That was 11 days after my due date of November 7th so I was R-E-A-D-Y. I was also F-A-T. I gained 90 lbs with him!!! I was just sure I'd give birth to a toddler. I'm not a small person, I'm 5'9" and proportionate...my ex was a big dude too, 6'3" or something and a big ol gut (but I'm not bitter) so I just KNEW I'd have a big baby with all that weight I gained. So Sunday before I'm ready to finally have my baby girl, Sophie Claire, I had contractions all day and they decided to go ahead and admit me that evening since I was being induced in the morning anyways. Well I went into labor that night and had him bright and early Monday morning...and he (who we didn't know was a he until he was born) weighed in a 7lbs 7oz. That made the other 83 lbs all me...boy was it a journey taking off that weight!

So my Mom is pretty sure I'll go into labor tonight and have a repeat performance of Hunter's arrival. I'm pretty sure it'll include a penis as well. I'm just sure I'm having a boy again. Every dream I've had about this baby it's been a boy...and every stranger who stops me to make a comment like, "my, you're pregnant" (really?) tells me they think it's a boy...plus I just can't trust an ultra sound prediction of a girl. Regardless of the fact that many friends have had girl ultra sounds that turn out to actually be girls, I'm still skeptical.

Anywho, so my prayer request from yall is simply for a healthy baby (boy or girl, induction or not)...I know I can handle the pain, I mean I'm not looking forward to it per say, but I can do it. I just want a healthy baby...and I really want to be able to nurse this baby. I know it'll be a struggle in the beginning, so please pray for my patience and stick-to-it-edness with nursing!!!!! Hopefully we'll all be home in a few days with lots of exciting pictures to post :)

On a much more maddening/terrifying/helpless feeling note...I also need yalls prayer for an impending court battle. I can't get too much into it, which is soooooooo unlike me...I'm normally an open book who reveals too much, but since I have a public blog on the world wide web (which means other parties involved can read said blog) I can't get into details. But for prayer purposes it involves the custody of Hunter. So while I'm trying to let go and give this up to God so my family can welcome "baby chister" I am plagued with this gut wrenching fear that having a new baby will mean I could lose my first born. Ya, trying real hard to keep it together while I even type this.

So if all eleven (I may be stretching it there) of yall reading this can take the time during the next few days to lift my family up, I would really appreciate it. A healthy baby, a patient Mommy with peace in hear heart and confidence in the Lord would be most appreciated.

Will update with baby news soon :)
E

Nothingness

2008-04-18T22:01:00.003-06:00

I am warning you in advance, before you invest the next 3-5 minutes of your life in the blog...there is absolutely no point to this post. No underlying theme, there will be no moral of the story...I may not even be able to corral my thoughts long enough for this to be comprehensible. So there, you've been warned.

With that being said, today is Kevin's birthday....Happy Birthday my Love! He likes to refer to himself as 30. I'm not going to come on the world wide web and sell out his story or anything, but let's just say, hypothetically, if Hunt and CC were to each get him a card that had a 3 on it and they were to sit those cards next to eachother on the table...you see where I'm going with this. So I decided for his birthday I should give Kevin a baby. I have 52 more minutes to make that happen. I think his present may be late. Hopefully just a day or two.

You know who Did have a baby today? Two of my good friends, Justin & Jennifer...when I told Kevin "they" were in labor he said, "really? both of them?" silly boy. I cried like a baby when I saw the pictures of their baby girl. She looks JUST like Justin, and I honestly think I was as excited for them to be parents as I am to meet my own baby. They are amazing people and will be such fun parents. I know that for a fact. I've known Justin since 6th grade and Jennifer since 9th grade...I like to take credit for being very influential in them starting to date in high school. Weather or not I actually was is irrelevant, I like to THINK I was and they are very happily married and now have a beautiful baby girl, so that makes me feel like the world's greatest match maker...and I'm all for awards.

Back to knowing Justin since 6th grade...I had just moved to the neighborhood (and to Texas for that matter) and didn't really know anyone when I started jr. high...also known to be the worst three years of a girl's life. Jr. high is not for the faint of heart. Anyways, so I was new and on the bus to school you couldn't miss the super loud kid with bright red hair who got on the stop after me. I was fascinated, he was so cool...and so NOT shy, how did he do that? So one day after school when I hear some kid yelling in the bayou right past the tee box behind my parents house I go outside and see THAT KID holding his arm. I ran inside and told my Mom that "my friend from school was hurt"...she comes outside, freaking out of course, and finds that Justin has somehow managed to shoot himself in the arm with a BB gun. This is my Mom's favorite part of the story...so Mom takes Justin home and he's being all super brave until he sees his Mom. Then come the tears. You have to know Justin & Janet for this to be as funny as it is. They are such a neat family. Justin and I were very good friends for the remainder of jr. high and high school. He was always welcome at our back door, and at our fridge. Justin's a big football player dude so he ate dinner at my house then again at his house every night for a few years. I am really just SO happy for them to be parents....Jennifer is just as great as Justin. In high school she was captain of the drill team. I remember when she was getting stuff together for her "captain try outs"...as a joke I tried on one of her dancer shirts she was going to preform in. I totally got stuck in it. I played volleyball and I guess her and I were built totally different as 16 yr olds. Gotta love it. Congrats Justin & Jennifer...I love yall!!!!!

What else to report? Oh, the other day Sophia and I went to check out this baby / kids boutique in Cypress and I found the PERFECT coming home outfit for our un-named baby girl. The second I saw it I just knew I had to have it, Fia agreed. It was an off white cotton (blend of some sort...it was almost silky) layette down that was slightly gathered at the bottom, it had a beautiful lace / ribbon overlay at the top, sweet bows on the arms...it was so classic vintage baby girl. You want to know what else it was? EIGHTY SIX DOLLARS. This just kills me about boutiques. After looking at stack upon stack of $20-40 onesies you'd think I would be accustomed to the price tages, but it still blows my mind. Don't get me wrong, the stuff is cute but that's just ridiculous. Why do all the cute boutique finds have to cost 6 times as much as they should? I know a little something about having to charge more for a product when you're hand making things in small batches (from our brief days as coffee shop owners). I also know that if you call a store a "boutique" you're expected to over charge. And clearly people pay the ridiculous prices because there are boutiques every where and most of my friends shop at them...I mean Fia and I were there!!!! But come on now. We're smart girls here, I know it doesn't cost $50 to bedazzle a onesie to say AB/CD like the AC/DC logo...cute as it may be.

My baby is under the impression that there is much more room in my belly than there actually is. When she weighed a pound or two it was cute when she moved around...now that she's more like seventeen pounds (I'm just guessing) the cute little swimming is beyond painful. In one swift movement she can simultaneously crack a rib and break a pelvic bone. I'm all for having an active baby. But be active out here in the air where I can lay you on a blanket and say, "look how cute....she's kicking" instead of "mother of pearl my daughter is trying to kill me". Just a thought.

All this baby talk has decided me to include the following friendly reminders when it comes to raising your children:

Hope it helps clear up any confusion you may have.

Ok then...I hope this wasn't as painful to read as I may have made it out to be. As soon as I download some pictures from my Mom's camera I'll have a real post for you. Plus I'm really hoping to report on a new addition to our family sometime in the next few days.

Long live the queen,
E

first there was myspace

2008-04-14T21:54:00.003-06:00

In the days before I fell in love with the blogging world there was myspace...I spent a tremendous amount of time posting "bulletins" on there, mainly filling out surveys because as I've recently come to realize, apparently I like to talk about myself. I'm sitting here on my couch trying not to get excited about the fact that I'm having contractions (because as history shows, they'll torment me all night and then stop in time for me to go to work...not labor & delivery, but work)...so I decided to go grab a survey from the space and fill it out on here. Hey, why not? If you're feeling randy copy and paste it to your blog too...but let me know so I can read it :)

1)Your ex is crossing the street, what do you do?
honk and wave...I have no ill will...then probably post some blog about how weird it was to see my ex crossing the street

2) Your best friend tells you she is pregnant what do you do?
tell her that she shouldn't have drank after me...I've been warning eveyone that they'll catch the pregnancy

3) When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
today. I am not a person blessed with much patience as it is, mix that with my pregnancy hormones and little things REALLY get on my nerves

4) What is the last thing you spent money on?
lunch, but more importantly I paid for my Mom and I to get mani/pedis on Sunday...it was so much fun and as we sat there in the massage chairs we asked eachother about 14 times why we waited so long to do this...side note, and this is embarrassing, home girl charged me $3 extra, she said my heels were THAT bad...nice...then my Mom and I went to Hallmark to hijack some Burts Bees Foot Cream (we just used the tester) so we could re-moisturize our recently exfoliated feet only to find out that A. we are NOT fans of Burts Bees foot cream as it is extremely oily B. oily foot cream on well worn flip flops makes a mess, and C. going to Hallmark to hijack foot cream testers makes us laugh REALLY hard

I'm skipping 5&6 because they are perfect examples of why I prefer blogging to the space...ick

7) Congratulations! You just had a daughter, her name?
funny you should ask...we don't have a name picked out yet.

8) Congratulations! You just had a son, his name?
Maverick Wayne Pesak

9) What are you craving right now?
labor

10) What was the last thing you cried about?
come on, I'm 9 months pregnant! I cry about most everything! I teared up after I talked to Kevin tonight. I miss him, a lot. Sometimes it just hits me more than others. Like right now, here I go again...

11) When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
I give it to my kids...the love "monies"

12) Have you ever blocked someone on MySpace before?
yes, and yet another good reason the blog world is more fun in my book...no need to "block" anyone here!

13) Do you wear a name tag at work?
Not since high school

14) Are you happy?
Oh man, I live one blessed life...I am incredibly happy!

15) Who came over last night?
No one, but I did go to my parent's....again, they probably would love for their grown daughter to spend some time at her own house

16) Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
No, I'm the older sibling...it was my job to be mean like that, but it never crossed my mind.

17) What was the last movie you watched?
Enchanted, last night with Hunter...we had to rewind the part where the prince got hit by the bikes about 15 times

18) What is in your pocket?
No pockets

19) Who introduced you to your bf/gf/husband/wife?
Erin O...my good friend. She told me her "hot neighbor" was moving back into the house he'd been renting out...she joked about setting us up and I thought, ya right...whatever. Then I met Kevin and said, ya...absolutely HOOK A SISTER UP. Now Erin O and I are neighbors. hahaha. Well we were neighbors, she moved out on Sunday...but that's another post!

20) Where do you hurt?
my bootie...it's supporting too much weight when I sit on it

21) What's something fun you did today?
laughed a lot with Fia (my brother's girl friend Sophia)

22) When is your birthday?
October 12th

23) Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror?
yes, a former co-worker gave me this little guardian angel thing

24) What kind of milk do you drink?
skim...but I don't drink it, I just put it on cereal

25) What are you going to do after this?
Go to bed...it's 11:30!

26) Do you like pickles?
I love pickles...dill, sweet, bread and butter, home made...love them all

27) Is someone in love with you?
Yes, and it feels amazing....that hot neighbor of Erin O's looooooooooves me

28) Favorite pop tart flavor?
red?

29) What are your plans for the weekend?
have a baby...how many times can you say your weekend plans are to have a baby? I love it! Plus Kevin gets home on Saturday, happy sigh

30) Do you like the color green?
ya, sure

31) Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Kevin

32) Last restaurant you went to?
Thai place with CC Saturday night

33) How many hours did you sleep last night?
I woke up every hour on the hour, so maybe 5...at best

34) Do you yell at your parents?
Never, and the fact that I used to makes me so embarrassed...I was such a brat

35) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
doubtful...most anyone who would be thinking about me is asleep

36) Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
many many times

37) Do you like your name?
I love it.

39) What do you do when you are bored?
I would love to be bored...I don't have time to be bored, so I really have no idea

40) What does your last text message say?
something really exciting about our taxes I think

41) How old are you?
27...and a half

Yep...it worked, contractions stopped...sigh.

This is me being patient,
E

recent obsessions

2008-04-12T21:59:00.007-06:00

When I started this blog nine months ago...and when I revived it about a month ago, my intentions were to use this as a way to keep my friends and family in the loop on the happenings with my kids and sort of like an on-line memory book...well as it turns out, I seem to write much mroe about myself than I do about my seeds. Maybe I need to re-think my "vision"...with that being said, here is a list of my current obsessions and favorite things:

Arizona Sweet Tea...it is the only beverage I find refreshing that does not give me heart burn so bad I feel like I'm going to blow fire ala the dragons in fairy tales (TMI? sorry, it really is that bad). So I've been buying this tea like it's nobody's bidniss...the guy who works at the corner store by my parent's house chuckles when I waddle in because he knows exactly what I'm going to buy...and when I come in an hour later for another can he just smiles at me, he must suffer from reflux, I think he feels my pain.

Kerri Russell

Why you ask? Because the last two movies I rented and absolutely fell in love with were August Rush

and Waitress

Oh man, if you haven't seen those...go rent them. They were tear jerkers but with happy endings and I just loved them. Both movies are totally far fetched, but whatever...I don't watch movies for the reality of them, I want to FEEL good and they both accomplished that. So Keri Russell...she's my girl. Plus I think she's so cute. Love her. Moving on.

Was is my pregnancy hormones? Did this make anyone else cry? I just love this song and I love that they played it on American Idol, I don't care what their motives where...it was nice to hear a "church song" as Hunter calls it, on prime time TV.

**Quick side note....my love of AI on Wednesday was challeneged on Thursday when Michael Johns got the boot. It reminded me of when Chris Daughtry got elimnated and I quit watching for the remainder of the season. I've since decided that not winning was the best thing that could have happened to him and I'm hoping the same for MJ...I LOVED his Dream On preformance and I love his accent. I'll buy his CD when it comes out, and I'm sure it will**

This is a Mini Donkey...I want two when we move to Montana. I want them BAD, it'll be like having horses but way better...because they're MINI. My friend's sister has a few minis at her little ranch in San Marcos and she says they're a lot of fun. Plus Hunter's a cowboy and unfortunatley his Mom is terrified of horses and most other animals, large or small, so a mini is about the best he'll get.

3 Muskateers Mint...it needs no explanation, it's delicious

The beauty sitting next to my in the green shirt is my great friend who's also named Erin, I like to call her Erinly...she lives in CT (by way of Tomball) and I LOVE her, if she lived closer we'd probably be joined at the hip...

Anways, I was admiring this tote bag from LL Bean she'd gotten as a bridal party gift, so what did I find on my door step this morning? THE TOTE BAG...in red, with my name on it...and a sweet note that said Mommy needed a gift with all the things people were buying for baby. It was so thoughtful! Totally made me tear up. I put my purse inside it just so I could carry it around today!

At work on Thursday the Fed Ex guy brought me a box from 1-800-flowers. My hotness sent me a bouquet of tulips that was so big they almost didn't fit in the vase that came with them! They are so beautiful and it was so unexpected...the note said, "See you soon. I love you". You're jealous aren't you? I don't blame you. He's amazing like that. AMAZING I tell you.

Anyways...I could go on, but it's 12:28 and my girl wakes me up at 7:15am on the dot...so there are a few things I'm in love with right now. I know you didn't ask, but I thought I'd share anwyays...I'm thoughtful like that :)

Good night,

Fashion Fiesta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-09T21:18:00.004-06:00

Party time!!!!!

There is not one thing exciting about seeing all three shirts and one pair of maternity jeans that still fit me, so for my version of the Fashion Fiesta here is a smattering of things I can't wait to wear...in no particular order.

OK...well this one is in order. I am absolutely in love with Lucky Brand Jeans, they are my go-to brand, they are long enough, they fit me...or well they fit me 9 months ago, I'm sure they will again soon!

For the first seven months of my pregnancy the only maternity clothes I wore were some bellow the belly jeans from Gap (and that was only after I retired my Lucky's...they were cut low enough to fit under my bump for a long time) so I'm going to try really hard to steer clear of any shirts / dresses that could be worn by a pregnant chic, which this one could be...but it's just so summery and fun, I'd wear it with some fun flat sandals (with the Lucky's of course) and gold filagree earings oh and maybe this...my vision also includes a tan and the sudden loss of all baby weight, so it may be a little far fetched...but this is a FIESTA people, let's have a little fun!

I pretty much only shop for clothes at Target, Old Navy and Forever 21...I can't justify spending that much money on my clothes, plus styles change so often and I get sick of things pretty quickly.

I LOVE dresses, I think they're the easiest thing in the world to wear...and you can dress them up or down with your shoes and jewelery, plus they hide imperfections much better than jeans and a tank top! A few dresses I have my eye on for this summer are as follows: this super cute yellow one (which also needs the tan I have left over from my previous vision). This one I'd wear to a wedding Kevin and I are going to this summer, it's all his college buddies and I kinda NEED to look smokin hot...it's an overly ambitious thought on my part because I'll be about 6 weeks post partum, but a girl can dream :) Oh this one, super casual & comfy looking...love it. I can see this dress with some strappy heels OR flip flops, that makes it pretty much perfect in my book. Cute. Love it. Are we noticing a trend here? I love this style of dress, I just always feel like they make me look pregnant though, and I can promise you that I will be running like the wind AWAY from anything that makes me look pregnant this summer. I need to move on from Forever 21 and their dresses now.

I'm sure this would have been much more enjoyable had I taken the time to upload the pics instead of making yall click on links...but you know what? It's my first fiesta, cut a sister some slack.

I've also been looking and looking for a picture, but I have these jeans with holes in them that are beyond comfy, I LOVE them and I wear them all the time with tank tops and fitted t-shirts, I just can't demonstrate that right now in my late stage of gestation...but just imagine them, they're amazing.

So I guess my "style" is casual / comfortable...nothing too complicated because it stresses me out. I'm excited to see if anyone else did this and what their "uniforms" are!!!!

Kiss,
E

Major Announcement

2008-04-09T20:31:00.005-06:00

Hey..all six of yall reading my blog...I think I'm going to pretend I'm a real blogger and participate in Big Mama's Fashion Fiesta this Friday.

The idea is for everyone to show what their "uniform" is...show clothes from their closets that represent their style. Well my style as of late has been anything that will fit over my ginormous belly, so I'm going to participate in the second part of the fiesta...the part where I show yall what I can't wait to wear when I'm no longer eligible for line backer tryouts...sounds like fun huh?

So do it too...or if you don't have a blog just leave a comment with pics of your uniform or your dream outfits. Come on, it'll be fun, everyone's doing it...if you love me you will :)

And while I have yalls attention...I soooooo thought I went into labor last night. I was up from 3-8am with contractions, good ones too, but before they got predictable or painful enough for me to justify waking my Mom up with a phone call, they stopped. So there's nothing REALLY major to announce.

That is all,

Baby Update

2008-04-08T10:44:00.002-06:00

I was so busy being deep last night I forgot to post all the exciting news about my check-up yesterday! Apparently I'm going to have a baby any day now. She's grown a LOT since my visit last week and I've "progressed nicely". If anything the doctor is worried she'll get too big, so IF I'm still pregnant on the 21st we'll set an induction date. I was so "deer in the headlights" when she told me I could have a baby any day that I didn't ask her many details...but all I know is I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY....yes, that just sunk in. Nine months later it hits me :)

George Strait vs. a Cheeto

2008-04-07T21:52:00.005-06:00

I'm pleased with my blog title...

I LOVE our pastor. He is someone you just enjoy listening to, he has a great voice...and you can tell he is passionate about Christ so he's just very...engaging I guess you could say. I genuinely look forward to his sermons every week, he always speaks to me and this week was no different. In fact his sermon stuck with me so much I just have to share it with yall.

Pastor Chris has a great sense of humor and he always starts his sermons out with a video clip of some sort and usually some funny pictures on a slide show...just a way to get you hooked in the beginning, he's smart like that. This week he showed us pictures where people had seen the likeness of Jesus in the wood grain on their door, or in a cloud, the smoke from 9-11, etc...my favorite was the Methodist Pastor who saw Jesus in a cheeto...he called it Cheesus. I'm sorry, that's just funny.

Hi point was that we all get so wrapped up in our day to day that we forget to see God in our everyday lives...we don't see him in the simple blessings but instead we look for these huge parting of the seas signs, like Jesus in a Cheeto. It reminds me of that George Strait song, I Saw God Today, where the guy in the song / story (I like to think of him as George himself) sees God in a flower growing up from a crack in the cement, a couple newly pregnant and then in the birth of his daughter...it totally makes me cry, but the idea is right on with what Pastor Christ was saying. How many miracles do I over-look every day because I've just stopped noticing?

Today I saw God in my 37 week checkup...I'm still pregnant at 37 weeks! Thank you LORD!!!! Every day my baby spends growing inside me is a day she needs in there, and what a miracle that is! I've never had to experience the heartbreak of giving birth to a baby who wasn't "ready" yet, or go through the agony of infertility. It really is the MIRACLE of life, I mean my body is growing a baby inside of, it...and it knows just when the right time will be for her to be born, come on...it doesn't get much greater than that!

Last night as I was falling asleep I thought back on this weekend and all the ways I "saw" God...the list is just endless. It's more than I can wrap my head around. I feel so undeserving sometimes; I've spent the last 10-11 years making one bad decision after another and here I sit with blessings all around me that I just flat out do not deserve. I have been given so many second chances and I never saw them for what they were. All along there was a forgiving and patient God who was waiting for me to see in myself what he's seen in me forever. It was a long and painful road but I feel so unbelievably thankful that I'm at a place to see that now. It'll probably always be a struggle for me to feel like I'm worthy enough, but I know that if I take the time everyday to acknowledge his hand guiding me through my journey it'll make it a lot easier...just the thought that I'm not doing this alone make me feel more at peace.

I guess the thing that's stayed with my since Sunday morning is that God is all around us everyday, dropping little reminders that he has our back...we just need to open our eyes and see them for what they are.

random things overheard at my parents house

2008-04-04T18:57:00.004-06:00

Shout out to double digits on my site meter...woo hoo, ya I said double

Like every Friday, we're over at my parents house...I'm laying on the couch enjoying the free time I get when my kids are playing with Grandma and Grandpa when it just occured to me to take note of some of the things you can overhear in this living room:

Grandma to Hunter, "it makes Jesus happy when you share with Cierra"...if you throw Jesus in the mix you can get my kids to do most anything.

Hunter to Cierra "eat it, it's cowgirl food"...if you call anything cowboy food Hunter will eat it and I guess he assumed the same for CC, he was right...she ate it.

Hunter busting out in random song lyrics, "I heard the door slam, I couldn't tell, was it just the wind or was she mad again? oh yeaaaa, she's gettin in her car"

my Dad, after eating a few packages of Zingers, "I need to go to some sort of rehab for sugar, step away from the Hostess..."

me to Hunter, "I can fit both of your bootie cheeks in one of my hands...that's amazing" Hunter hates it when I demonstrate this fact to people. I love his narrow little hiney.

Hunter, "it's Marshall time...but I'm not the Marshall, I'm Wyatt Earp" taking off his pirate dress up clothes to put his brown suede vest with fringe on instead,"I'm going to use my six shooter, I need to practice for when I'm six and get a REAL six shooter"...ummmmm

My Mom and Hunter, "it's not a kitty, it's a whale" "oh ya, it could be a whale"...um, how can something be a kitty or a whale? those aren't even close!

Me to CC, "oh good job sew-er girl" (she's playing with this little pretend sewing thing) CC: "I not sew-er girl, I sew-er Paul Scheidt"...Hunter's middle and last name are Paul Schiedt, CC is Cierra Grace Pesak but right now everyone ends in Paul Scheidt to her..it's hilarious.

Cierra to Grandma, "I trouble...I trouble Paul Scheidt", I rest my case.

Hunter, "Oh the horse's name is Lilly? Scooby Doo would say it Rirry"...he likes to translate words into Scooby talk

Cierra to Grandma "look, I got BOOBIES"...she's a little obsessed, for her third birthday she got a Barbie and the first thing she noticed was her boobies...oh here we go again, my Mom to Cierra "are you going to sew this kitty?" CC "ya, I sew kitty boobies"

I love my family...

Labor?

2008-04-03T18:54:00.003-06:00

Today I had my first, "could this be it?" moment...since I'm online posting a blog, it clearly was NOT it.

Off topic...CC likes to make up songs and right now she's singing, "Daddy not a girl....Daddy not a girl, you not a girl, why you not a girl? peecause you not, you not, you not a baby, baby...you not a baby, ok you not a baby, you a girl"...while she's sitting in the toy box. The toy box / ottoman that Kevin and I made together a few months after we starting dating when I convinced him that, suuuuure I knew how to build and upholster an ottoman...I'm crazy domestic / handy / good to keep around like that. I've seen more attractive ottomans in my time but it's one of my most prized possessions :)

Anyways, so as I've mentioned before, I'm insanely and ridiculously busy at work these days....and my natural instincts to want to please everyone and accomplish everything have taken their tole on me. Even if I wasn't 36-1/2 weeks pregnant I'd be exhausted. At around 1:30 I started feeling BAD so I figured I was hungry and I ran up the corner to McDonalds (french fries are the one thing that sounds good when nothing else will do)...by 2:00 I reasoned it wasn't hunger and I still felt awful. I was having horrible back pains that started increasing in frequency and even began radiating around to the front. After about 30 minutes I couldn't concentrate anymore...I was hurting! So finally at 3:00 I decided to go home and try to lay down, see if I could get them to stop by changing positions. So I came here and passed out, it did help, the pains stopped as soon as I laid down but when I got up to get the kids from school they started again. Even now, I feel pretty crappy...random practice contractions and back pains but just over all feeling like poo, feeling like someone 3 weeks away from giving birth I guess.

Tonight is clearly one of the nights I would do most anything to have Kevin home. Besides REALLY being able to use the help with the munchkins, I just want him here when I don't feel good...I guess he's my 6'4" ridiculously attractive security blanket. Him or my Mom (but she has plans tonight for the first time in ages...the audacity, I kid). Since asking Kev to make a 2,000 mile trip just because I don't feel good is a little out of the question I guess I'll find comfort in Blue Bell instead...can't hurt :)

Getting closer,
E

I had no idea...

2008-04-02T19:09:00.003-06:00

I pride myself on knowing a LOT, I mean there is a ridiculous amount of knowledge in this head of mine...I'm incredibly worldly (I'm hoping everyone can pick up on my sarcasm here) but I had NO CLUE that:

1. one of my dearest friends was married to a man who could speak like this
2. that human trade / slavery was still this prominent
3. that I could sit here on my couch and be so moved by something...I'm pleading with everyone who could be reading this (all four of yall, ha ha)...I mean it, find 45 or so minutes, open your hearts, mute American Idol (you can find out who gets voted off tomorrow) and just take these words in. It's some beautiful honesty...a God who is begging for us to just be ourselves and be real when we come to worship...AMEN brother.

Dinner

2008-04-02T17:50:00.003-06:00

I made one of my favorite meals tonight for dinner, salmon with orange & soy, pretty much not expecting my kids to eat it...I mean if it's not fruit, pizza or able to be dipped in ketchup I don't hold out too much hope...but to my surprise, not only did they eat it, but they liked it!

Little background info, when Hunter was little one of the first things he ate off my plate was salad with Dorothy Lynch dressing. My Grandpa in North Dakota has eaten it for as long as I can remember and it's easily one of the most delicious things I've ever tasted, if you can find it in your store...try it, please...for me, try it, you won't be sorry (I sound a little pathetic begging like this, but it's really in your best interest). Anyways...so when Hunt was little (little as in he hadn't mastered walking yet) he'd pull himself along the couch to where I was sitting and sit there with his mouth open like a little baby bird wanting a bite of my salad, as long as it had Dorothy Lynch on it. At first he wouldn't even chew the lettuce, I'm sure there is some rule about not feeding babies lettuce...but I'm not big on rules, especially when it comes to food...so he'd pretty much just suck the dressing off the lettuce, but eventually he moved on to actually eating the entire salad. To this day, "salad" (it's really just lettuce) with DL is one of my son's favorite foods. He's even gotten his sister on the bandwagon...she likes her "salak" too.

**side note, "salak" is one of the few words that Cierra will actually pronounce the "s" in...she goes to "leep" she likes to "wim" when she gets hungry she wants a "nack" she goes to "chool"...you get the drift"

Well if you remember Cierra's and my infamous trip to HEB last Friday, one of the other things we got (besides the aforementioned salmon) was a huge head of romaine and a Tuscan Melon. I made myself an awesome salad with green apple, Gorgonzola crumbles and glazed walnuts in an easy vinaigrette to go along side the fish and I thought I'd make the main course seem more appealing to my offspring by serving them a salad with DL along side...I even cut up the Tuscan Melon as more bribery (my seeds prefer fruit over anything else on the planet). The rule in my house is that they at least need to take one bite of something before they decide they don't like it. I fully expected them to take the obligatory bite and call it a night, but they took one bite...then another one, and one more...before I knew it, my kids ate all their salmon. It warmed my heart. I love the idea of kids that will eat more than chicken nuggets...so it may be baby steps, but they're branching out. Hunter even put some of the green apple from my salad on his lettuce!

Not that I blame them, the fish really is that good! I marinate the salmon in orange juice, soy sauce, minced garlic, dried oregano, fresh parsley and lots of black pepper....throw it the oven then under the broiler and you'regood to go (unless I'm eating it in a sushi roll, I like my salmon cooked through, so if you don't I'd skip the baking and just broil it).

I'm so happy about the food eating incident that I have half a mind to go get my kids chocolate shakes to celebrate...and it's not because I want a chocolate shake, it really is for them...I swear ;)

love in an elevator,
E

AHHHHH it's April

2008-04-01T07:15:00.003-06:00

Today is April first so I can FINALLY say "this month" when people ask me when I'm due!!!!!!! It also marks the start of the longest month of my life. To anyone reading this who's been pregnant, you feel my pain. It's a mix of "I can't wait to meet her / I can't wait to not be pregnant / and oh crap, I'm having a baby in four weeks...or less!"

So yesterday I had my doctors visit which marks the beginning of my once a week visits...the baby is in position, my cervix is soft, my bp and proteins are good, not dilated at all yet (is this TMI?) so I guess I'm progressing as I should be. Kevin and his Dad swear I'm having the baby on the 20th or 21st because of the full moon...and for some reason I've always thought the 20th or 22nd, so maybe! I guess we'll see in a few weeks!!!!! My due date is April 28th and I'm just praying that she stays in as long as she needs to do develop fully, and not a day longer...I'm ready man! Hunter was 11 days late, so I guess there's the possibility I could even have her on my Mom's birthday (May 6th), and while that would be special...I'd prefer to have her closer to Kevin's birthday on April 18th :)

waiting patiently,
E

Girls Weekend

2008-03-28T17:09:00.002-06:00

Hunt's at his Daddy's so once again CC and I are having a "Girls Weekend"!

We started it out at the big new beautiful HEB, which is really my equivalent of going to the mall. Since clothes shopping has SIGNIFICANTLY lost it's appeal, I prefer to wander the aisles of the greatest grocery store known to man. You question my obsession of this culinary mecca? My girl friend Amanda posted a blog about it too, so there. Anyways, baby sister was craving some chirizo and eggs in fresh tortillas and knowing that HEB's Tortilliaria (or whatever) makes the best tortillas you can buy, that served as my perfect excuse to drive past four other grocery stores and hit up the heeeeeb. Of course I was lured in to the produce section which is absolutely out of control. I mean there are 900 varieties of mushrooms, every kind of leafy green, ALL the fresh herbs your heart can desire...and don't get me started on the fruit (I got a Tucson melon...it's like a cantaloupe times a million). So I got a few things to make a salad (some romaine, baby spinach, a huge green apple), then I saw this little package of varietal tiny tomatoes...are you kidding me? They deserved some fresh mozzarella and a back track to grab some fresh basil (which was packaged with the roots attached so you can put it in a vase and now my kitchen smells glorious)...then I saw the sushi, baby needed a tempura roll. Fresh salmon and a gorgeous steak both on special (practically giving them away)...oh ya, the chorizo I came in for...oh I need cheese for my breakfast tacos, oh and some crumbled gorgonzola to go in my salad with the green apple, quick jaunt over to the specialty nuts for some glazed walnuts (this salad sounds amazing), can't forget my tortillas...I'm feeling faint, they're still warm. Oh man, spicy hummus? I need some pita chips. With that I walked (really it's more of a hobble these days, I'm ridiculously pregnant) directly to the check out, this trip was getting out of control.

So what will CC and I be doing this Girls Weekend? Um, eating deliciousness....what else? I was so excited I had to call my Dad. I smiled the entire time I put the groceries away. In hindsight I should have got some eggs, seeing as they're an integral part of my breakfast tacos...and I'm now craving some sourdough bread too, does this mean I should go back?

The beautiful thing is, Cierra enjoyed herself as much as I did...they had snacks out everywhere you looked...and my girl's an eater. I think she got it from me, nature vs. nurture...nurture won out this time! And just as I type this she's climbing on the couch to give me kisses and say, "I love my Mommy"...and she kisses my belly and says "I love baby LoLo". I'm excited for our Girls Weekend, they're a special time for the two of us...I always miss Hunter when he's at his Daddy's but these times alone with Cierra are special.

As lucky as I am to have met Kevin and fallen in love with the man of my dreams, him bringing CC into my life has been as much of a blessing. I never understood how people could honestly love adopted and step children as much as their own, but let me tell you...she is my daughter in every sense of the word, and I'm her Mommy just the same. Hunter is her brother and she's his sister, my parents are her grand parents and Trevor's her uncle. I love her just as I would if I'd have given birth to her and nothing will ever change that.

She's my GIRL and this weekend we'll probably look at some baby stuff with Grandma, definitely hang out with Grandpa and Claudius the Wonder Dog, maybe play at the park with Trevor and Fia...but for sure we'll enjoy our girl time...and eat eat eat :)

random JCI trivia

2008-03-27T12:05:00.002-06:00

Did yall know that if you drop chili from a James Coney Island chili dog on your jeans it will turn green after it has time to set?

Also, did you know that in order to take drive-thru orders at the JCI on 290 & Hollister you have to be rude and unpleasant?

Furthermore, did you know that if you smile at and are friendly to the aforementioned drive thru order taker you will make her smile and thus make yourself feel happy in return?

It's true...all of it,
E

Thursday...29 days

2008-03-27T08:21:00.005-06:00

I think today makes it 29 days and counting right? I'm bad at math.

Anywho, I've had a ROUGH week at work, my "other half" here (we share the same job duties) is out recovering from some pretty intense surgery and won't be back until after I leave for the baby so I'm keeping VERY busy handling both of our work loads...and to put it nicely, my boss is a bit of a ____ I'm struggling to find the right word to put there, he's intense, we'll leave it at that. I'm determined to not dwell on the negative, I bring home a much needed pay check every week so it could be worse. With that being said, the first thing I do every morning is pray for a good attitude, thank the Lord for providing for my family, ask for the ability to stay focused during the day and not let my mind linger on the negative...etc.

Well today, this week, it's just not working...I need something stronger. Maybe it's the cold my kids were so kind to share with me, maybe it's the realization that my days of having numerous Mexican food establishments at my disposal are numbered, maybe it's the moon...I don't know, but I'm going to write down my thankful prayer in list format for easier access so I can refer back to it as many times today as needed. Tomorrow I WILL have a better attitude...I'm going to make sure of it.

Dear Cheesus (that's what my kids say and it makes me smile, I need the smile),

Thank you for allowing me to still be able to breath out of my mouth since no air is being passed through my nasal cavaties at this point.
Thank you for giving man the ability to develop Burts Bees, the greatest chapstick on the planet, I mean in the galaxy. The yellow packaging makes me happy and since my lips have the texture of sand paper from breathing only out of my mouth for four days...I've gotten to spend a lot of quality time with it's cheerfull yellow wrapper.
Thank you for jury duty and for selecting my boss to serve this morning. You knew when I was at my breaking point and you provided me with a much needed respit (did I use that word correctly?).
Thank you for making Cierra a morning person. She is the happiest person you've ever met at 6:45 am and her "gooooood mornin Mommy" is the perfect antecdote to my grumpiness. I rest my case:

Thank you for velveeta. I'm not entirely sure it's cheese but I love it and for that, I thank you.
Thank you for Al Gore. The world wide web is a wonderful tool. My days would be unbearable without it. You know this from the few months I worked at TCM Forklifts (a company who still doesn't believe in the internet or communicating via e-mail). Those tragic weeks were a very dark time for me and I thank you for giving me that opportunity to appreciate Mr. Gore's "invention" in all of its glory.
Thank you for allowing my baby to continue on cooking in my belly...and this is a big one. The last month of pregnancy is an uncomfortable time, to put it mildly, but I would be 9,000 times more uncomfortable watching my baby grow in the NICU because she was born too early. On that same note, thank you for all of the miracles you've shown us through Coy and his continued growth and development.
Thank you for the three hours of sleep I get every night. I know you're preparing my body for life with a newborn...thank you for easing a sister into it.
Thank you for girl scouts...thank you especially for the particular girl scout who decided that selling cookies was a good idea. Thank you for the Thank Yous and Lemonades that live in my bottom drawer here at work.
Thank you for paychecks...especially the one I'm about to receive that makes this stressful week worth it.

Man, I feel better already!!!!!! My mind is overflowing of things I am thankful for, James Coney Island, Hawaiian Punch Jelly Beans, Miley Cyrus' song that's stuck in my head (I love her), the turqouise ring my parents gave me that makes me happy when I look at it, my new blogging / e-mail friend who just sent me a message thus giving me something to do other than work for five more minutes. See, nothing to be negative about here!!!!!!

Alright, back to work and now begins the second half of my day...which will be a positive one! Thank you for allowing me to indulge :)

Daddy's getting ready

2008-03-25T22:21:00.002-06:00

If you ignore the hair...how cute is this picture???? My good friend Jenny gave me this sling and apparently I'm sling deficient because I swear it doesn't fit. It seems too small for me, so all 6'4" 225 ex-NFL of Kevin is showing me that if it fits him, it's probably fine for me. He even added a dolly to prove his point. And what was the ultimate outcome? "I really like this thing"...how much do you want to bet he wears it as much as I do? :)

Little Rodeo Action

2008-03-24T20:04:00.012-06:00

Kev & I took the kids to the Rodeo...pretty much Hunter's favorite place on Earth...so here are the pics, in no particular order b/c as I've previously mentioned...I've yet to master the picture posting part of the blog world :)

Hunt practicing his pitches

Kevin played professional football, not baseball...but he looked good trying!

My seeds watching some bull riding during lunch

I love this picture

"corndogs are what kids are supposed to eat at the Rodeo" - HPS

Cierra agrees

This is so Kevin and CC

Cierra's favorite ride at the entire HLSR...the escalator

Please disregard the large pale pregnant woman in the background (and shame on those Mom pants...with tennis shoes...ugh) and pay attention to Hunter's rodeo debut...Mutton Bustin Contest. We had no idea what it was but apparently the kids ride sheep decked out in bull riders gear. It was awesome, Hunt was so intense about it. He now wants a sheep when we move to Montana so that he can practice!

Hunt post ride...notice the dirt encrusted snot trail out of his nose. I think it's adorable but he said I shouldn't post it because "some kids may think it's blood and get scared"...he's so thoughtful. A thoughtful tough cowboy!

...and his cute little dirty Wranglers.

Ah, back to familiar territory...this is our third year on the mechanical bull and we are a much better bull rider than sheep rider, I mean mutton buster.

Hunt in the parking lot of the rodeo...in my head he's thinking about how he can thank his wonderful Mom and "Daddy Kev" for taking him on such a fun outing.

Rock on boys!

Cierra wasn't feeling the photo-op...neither was Mom but I felt the need to include a few pics of us since the rest are all boys!

The kids watching the pig races.

My attempt at posting videos:

32 days and counting

2008-03-24T06:57:00.007-06:00

Today is a sad day...this morning we got to say goodbye to Kevin again. It was especially hard pulling out of the driveway this morning with him still standing there, in fact I'm tearing up again just writing about it. I really realized this trip home that it isn't that I NEED him here, I just really WANT him here. I've found that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought, but I really just prefer to have him around...besides being super helpful around the house and with the kids, he's also great company, and SO easy on the eyes :)

I rest my case:

I had a good friend tell me once that it wasn't that she couldn't live without her husband...physically she'd still be breathing every day, and she was secure enough in herself that she knew she could go on...she just plain didn't WANT to live without him. That is so how I feel right now. I know I can manage the kids and the house on my own, I've been doing it...and I'm thankful for this time that I've had to do so because it's shown me that I can. But it's also shown me that I really am with the right person. Kevin really is "the" guy for me. Could I live without him (if I had to)? Sure. But do I want to? No way. It's actually such a wonderful feeling to know, without a doubt, that the person you're with makes your life better. He's the frosting. And that's how I think it should be! It's not like that horrible line from Jerry McGuire, he doesn't "complete" me...I complete me, my kids, God...they complete me, he just makes my life happy and wonderful. Talk about easing some pressure off a relationship! I couldn't imagine carrying around the burden of making his life whole and I wouldn't expect him to do that for me either. We're in a place of mutual respect, love and admiration...and we're going to have a baby to show for it. How's that for amazing?

So it's 32 days and counting until his next trip home, which means I'm 35 days away from my due date...can that be right? Wow. So last night we enjoyed what could be our last evening together as a family of four, and this morning Kevin said goodbye to my pregnant tummy for possibly the last time. It's kind of surreal to think that the next time we see him I'll be going in to labor and the kids will have a baby sister. Where did the last eight months go? Isn't that always how it is? 40 weeks seems like forever when you're 7 weeks pregnant and the next thing you know you're 35 weeks pregnant and wondering where all that time in between went. I really want to spend the next 4-5 weeks enjoying my kids and showing them the attention I'm sure they'll miss once the baby comes. I'm really going to make an effort to enjoy these next few weeks instead of complaining about being nine million months pregnant and being sad about missing Kevin. These are the last 35 days I'll be a mother of two and some of the last times I'll be able to lay on the couch blogging about nothing and watching Emeril while the kids play ninja-cowboy-kitchen-babies upstairs...and I'm going to make the best of it!

And just for fun because I know I'll enjoy looking back on this....the baby names we have discussed for "chister" are:

Logan (Kevin likes the idea of calling her LoLa and CC says LoLo)
Mason (I'd call her Macie when she's little)
Taylor (Hunter's vote)
Camryn
Sydney
Reese
Ruby - not really on the list, I just love it but both Kevin and my Mom don't so that kind of knocks it out of the running
Blake (Lauren's idea and I love it)
Khyle
Kayla - Kevin's fav for a while, I never got into it...not happening

And in case we get another "surprise, she grew a penis...it's a boy" we'll name him Maverick Wayne (or maybe Levi Wayne but Levi's getting popular and I'm pretty sure not many other people will name their sons after a character from Top Gun, just a guess). And yes, I know...Wayne is the most popular middle name for serial killers, but it's also Kevin's middle name and heritage trumps coincidence any day in my book.

I'll post lots of pictures from Easter once I compile them from all the different cameras, but for now this ramble is done.

Love,
Erin

today in a nut shell....or make it an egg shell

2008-03-19T21:10:00.007-06:00

There's no real way for me to segway between this evenings events, so maybe list format is the way to go...we'll give it a shot.

1. Right after work the kids and I met Sophia and Lindsey at CiCis for dinner...exciting, I know. I'm a total health nut, I only feed my kids the best. Anyways, the kids favorite thing about eating at CiCis are the games. Those games happen to also be my least favorite thing about eating at CiCis...we agree to disagree on that point. Now while Hunter is (almost) big enough to play the actual arcade games, CC is pretty much content to climb all over the Spiderman car.

**Novice blogger disclaimer...I'm horrible at posting pictures on this here blogspot, they all come up in the wrong order and I can't just insert them, I have to put them in at the beginning (and attempt to upload them backwards) then type around them, so the pics below are not in the right order**

So the kids are playing while the girls and I are chatting and I look over to see Cierra with her arm around Spiderman...and she proceeds to kiss him on the cheek. It is pure hilarity. I thank my lucky stars I had my camera in my purse to catch this! She totally sees me taking pictures at this point but being that she loves to preform for the camera, she keeps on going...when Hunt sees me taking pictures of Cierra he has to jump in the car next for his turn, which is to be expected...it's how we roll around here. See below, HILARIOUS! Oh, and the green spot on CC's face is a tattoo left over from St. Patty's Day at school...she won't let me take it off.

2. After dinner we come home and the kids are DYING to peel the eggs they colored at school...of course they had to be the ones to peel them, see below for how well that worked out! Then they tried the eggs, hated the eggs, threw said eggs in the trash...and that is that. Hunter said he likes his eggs better cooked and once you make them a color they get gross. Ok.

3. Lastly, I'm no Pioneer Woman (yet...just wait until I'm in Montana, then it's ON Ree) but I just have to brag on my mad culinary skillz real quick. I made my first pie crust tonight. It may not be pretty, but it's from SCRATCH yall. And granted, Trevor had to bring me a pie pan from Mom's stash because I don't have one, but I made a pie crust.

What's going in this masterpiece you ask? Well a chocolate filling of course. this chocolate pie...it's one of the many masterpieces I plan on making for my man while he's home for the weekend. I decided that since my looks are that of an exhausted woman in her 8th month of gestation I could at least give him some deliciousness while he's home. Anything that will send him back to Montana missing me is my goal...and good LORD do I have some deliciousness planned for this weekend...I made a menu :) We'll see how much I actually make, but either way I'm pretty sure this qualifies me for Domestic Diva status.

I'll have to update after Kevin goes back as to what actually got made, but I have high hopes. I love cooking and it's not nearly as much fun with Kevin gone, so I'll make up for it while I can.

What else? Oh ya...

4. When CC was talking to Daddy on the phone tonight he'd obviously asked her if she was being a good girl b/c she makes this face and says, "I not a good girl, I tee-tee on the couch". She has this weird thing about being waaaaaaaaay more honest than any other toddler / pre-schooler EVER. She tells on herself all the time. Anyways, she'd been sitting on the couch and after a while she gets up and I notice the tell tale wet spot on the couch cushion (this is not our first experience)...homegirl pees on the couch and doesn't say anything about it, it's not until she gets up that I notice! And this is a child who doesn't have accidents...never once has she wet the bed, but you sit her on the couch in a dress and she pees. Sheets I can wash, but the couch cushion? I've found that carpet cleaner works fine, but it's just the principal...it's such a Cierra thing to do. How can you not love this kid?????

5. I have no idea what this means for the future of my family, but the baby in my belly has very distinct reactions to my kids. Hunt can get a subtle wave like motion out of her but anytime CC lays her head on my tummy the baby goes crazy. I'm pretty sure this means "she" is actually a she and that she's going to give Cierra the same kind of grief she currently gives Hunter...and that Hunter will be her calming protector. I could be completely off base here, but that idea makes me smile, so I'm going with it.

Yep, so that was tonight...I get to pick Kevin up at the airport tomorrow after work. Picture me with a big cheesy ridiculous grin on my face and that's about a fraction of how excited I am :)

Sunday Funday

2008-03-16T20:57:00.010-06:00

Today after church my Mom and I took Hunter to a sibling class at the hospital where I'll deliver. You had to be four to take the class so it was a great opportunity for Hunt to enjoy some alone time with his Grandma and Mommy...and CC got some equally important alone time with Trev & Fia. After "graduation" we ate dunch (it was 3:00, that is neither lunch nor dinner...so we'll call it dunch) at Cafe Express where Mom and I got to indulge in our favorite, Grilled Chicken Pasta Pesto Salad (formerly the #52)...it was glorious, and I am very thankful they don't have a location clsoer to our house or I would spend a ridiculous amount of money there. It was a great day and I will walk you through it in picures :)

Hospitals are ridiculously hard to navigate in my opinion, so we gave Big H the map and he lead the way...which he LOVED. When we finally found the correct room and checked in Hunter told the Jr. Volunteers leading the class that he was the one who got us there...that landed him a role as the line leader on the OB tour!

After they taught the kids about holding babies (the most important rule is to wash your hands first, Hunt told me this about 14 times) and changing diapers they got to go on a tour of the OB floor. First stop was outside the nursery where Hunter was fascinated by a baby under the jaundice lamps. The baby was moving around and crying some so Hunter was sure that he didn't like the lamps and aboslutely does NOT want his baby sister under that thing. The other baby in the nursery had a FULL head of black hair which wasn't ok either as "babies are supposed to be bald"...duh. Then they showed the kids the rooms their Moms would be in...

...and they got to try out the "moving" beds!
After the tour they all graduated and got certifactes and chocolate chip cookies!

This was Hunter's buddy, Neil. The kid was HILARIOUS and Hunter just loved him. He had a dry sense of humor and I was pretty much the only one laughing at his jokes...but I know he apreciated it!

Me and Hunt with his certificate

Dunch at Cafe Express...Hunter loved throwing pennies in the wishing well. When I asked him what he wished for he told me, "I asked God for the powers to be a better listener"...are you kidding me? He is so awesome!
How amazing is my boy? I love this picture...
We had a fun day together It was just a great weekend all in all, I have a lot more to recap but it's Momma's bed time, so there will be much more to come :)